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Alcoholism, Addiction and Recovery For all addiction topics, including alcoholism, substance abuse, and other addictions. |
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04-06-2015, 12:15 PM | #1 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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hi
my name is eva i am a recovering alcohol and addict i was i deep thaught about this and in the end i figured if allowed as i speak of myself my experience strength and hopes as i believe i am in the correct forum my situation does not allow me to be at my regular 3 times a week meetings with my fellowships for quite sometime the one meeting i maintained or always will be the meeting i would always be at and that meeting is on sunday morning 9:00 A.M. my home group the very First meeting i went to when i entered into the fellowship A.A. and ironically the first person to welcome me to the fellowship is my youngest child father i have four children 3 girls and a son ages 34, 32, 30 of my marriage my 17 year out of wedlock 2 of my children are having a very difficult time with living life on life terms both too are addicts as my 2 other children are recovering all four of my children they watched their mother get sober i entered the fellowship in 1990 didn't get sober until 1992 as life situations at the time of my 4th child became very ill spiking a fever off the charts truly off the charts i stood in the hospital shower to bring her fever down in the end a disease specialist Dr. Lamacia found the cocktail antibiotics she needed to be on till her immune system could build and had 2 surgeries in her first year of life and the following 16 years just got worse as my eldest had her first grand maul seizure in 2003 a vibrant smart college student and worker all seized as she knew her life to be i was there for it ALL she still lived home and was dating her high school sweetheart now married after two brain surgeries partial occipital lobe removed as that is where her seizures would begin after removal we needed to wait and see and for her to have permanent loss of vision and to have her seizures to have returned then had what is called a VNS a implant of a devise placed in the chest underarm area and a magnet on her wrist to wave over the implant when a seizure begins it reboots the brain yup at her side till she got over her 10 year depression we are now estranged then i got sick i have custody of my grandchild for obvious reasons mom and dad addicts estranged with her and my son just started to reach out after being estranged after stealing from me SO i was hoping if there might be any one out there who is in the fellowships i could invite as it is so so very difficult to get out to a meeting it took a friend who reminded me of so much i have been missing from my fellowship that i know what i need to do is surrender and LET GO AND LET GOD will post and continue....
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 04-07-2015 at 10:25 AM. |
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04-06-2015, 06:05 PM | #2 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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there only needs to be another person
who is willing to have a place to share and how it affects their sobriety on a daily basis my daily life physically is pushed to the limit and when i am up for the challenge i kick butt only to pay for it the next couple of days and be upset for it did not have to be like that it is a terrible place i am at no meds for nerve related problems been through way to many to list now in the middle of withdrawal from Effexor my medicine intake is as follows only for pain meds opiates meds for cancer meds muscle relaxers meds xanax cannabis for hands feet upper right back, NAUSEA ALL DOCTORS on the same page as i keep nothing from them or my family it would be awesome just for today i turn over my will me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 04-07-2015 at 10:28 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
04-06-2015, 06:59 PM | #3 | |||
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Magnate
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Dear Eva,
You go through such a lot every day and you find the Strength to share with us, your Friends. So, from me to you - for the first time to anyone: In the '80s I drank and smoked (illegally here) to 'cope' with pain and severe Anxiety issues. This was on top of popping beta-blockers like Smarties. This was daily, but I was never an alcoholic, it NEVER affected me my tolerance was so high, but I had no cravings or withdrawals. I just got mentally relaxed with the mixture. Staying up til 2am, I was fully straight by 7am the same morning. As the years passed heavier abuse led to nil reaction, work wasn't affected - I was even able to 'function' within small groups in the evenings as my Anxiety was drowned and smoked out. I realised that I was consuming 2-3 times as much as before with no real effect after 7 years or so. I decided on a change, quit my job, sold my house, broke off a relationship and moved 250 miles, cutting all ties with my previous life. I haven't touched a drop, nor smoked, since. In 27 years I have only spoken to 2 people on 3 occasions from my 'past' life. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
04-06-2015, 08:25 PM | #4 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
thank you for sharing i with everything going on and to now be a S.S. recipient and to have found the best coverage a new drug company i want to express how having to go through my own physical breakdown ruptured disc that was the beginning of one horrific situation after another making the conscious decision not to take my antidepressant and am very angry of having to take pain meds my cardiologist put me on xanax been on it during my changes ya know woman stuff now my shrink dispenses it one time i was on 1 mg tab 3 times a day brought myself down slowly to 1 tablet he said not to be uncomfortable and after a while i could see i needed two in my day so bottom line i have to tell you as recovering alcoholic my choice a drink it kills the pain at a low cost as i just learned having to find a drug plan part D my one pain med Oxycontin one month supply is $997.00 not to mention the other meds then the cancer another 5 years of those are you getting the picture there are so many things a slave to them depressing so blanking depressing to have worked so long in my staying away from that first drink never to have abused my meds to date doesn't sit okay with me i hope i have been able to have opened dialog as it too is my medicine for life i am a angry depressed person for many reasons and i know if i do not work on it my character defects are at their best it has been a while since my last drink and i would be gone if i ever thaught i can abuse my meds i take medicine not drugs me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 04-07-2015 at 10:36 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
04-07-2015, 07:28 AM | #5 | |||
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Magnate
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Dear Eva,
Your strength should be held up to marvel at. I, also, take medicine not drugs. I am scared of being addicted, the amount I have to take to function. I worry that my Depressive Personality Disorder and Addictive Personality go hand in hand. That is one of the reasons why, every February, I stop my pain meds one at a time for as long as I can bear, physically. It was just a few days this year, but I break the cycle. I meant to put in my first Post - to give you a general idea of the state I was in with no physical effects - daily consumption was around 5 pints of beer and 10 double whiskys, weekends pushed up to 8 pints and 16 doubles. This was at my worst, before I quit. I now abhor the thought of drink, the smell makes me nauseated - thankfully. We are so lucky here to have the NHS. We all pay in a percentage of salary, we pay a set fee (minimal) for each rx med for a week/fortnight/month supply, or if you are a cancer sufferer left with medical issues that need treatment you get them for free. Before this I used to pay for a Yearly Certificate - less than $160 total for 10 meds monthly for a year. I will hear nothing against our system. Keep fighting the Big C, I am about 20 months clear so you can do it. We will battle our Depression together and the other issues and pains can all be Consigned to H…! Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
04-07-2015, 11:04 AM | #6 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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thank you for sharing today i will try not to do much as i have over done things such as putting a table set for my granddaughter it is made of solid wood and needed to be put together the most colorful table and two chairs ladybugs butterflies i will get a picture of it and have my daughter Corissa post it since it took all night to do it was tough the next morning she is so happy and grateful sits at it first thing in the morning and says where is breakfast she is so happy worth the money it is so well made it will be passed on down her family the company name is TEAMSOM THE THEME A COLORFUL GARDEN i will try and stay in a positive mood (that usually changes if my child gets in that couch mood) she is to young to beautiful to not be productive she is also 17 today i will LET GO AND LET GOD JUST FOR TODAY I WILL TAKE CARE OF ME i will hold your hand Dave and pray Lord grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change the courage to change the things we can and to understand the difference in Jesus name Amen to thy self be true me
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someone who cares eva |
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04-07-2015, 03:00 PM | #7 | |||
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Magnate
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Eva,
It is 8:55 pm here. In 5 minutes is my Special Time. Tonight I will hold your hand and specifically Meditate on your beautiful prayer for US as well as for our fellows. Thank you. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
04-07-2015, 07:50 PM | #8 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
8 hours difference where my family is as a Hungarian and ALL of my family resides in Europe do not know what it was like to have grandparents aunts and uncles on both sides went to visit twice i was a young girl 9 and then again 12 whatever time of the day love and peace one day at a time me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
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