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Alcoholism, Addiction and Recovery For all addiction topics, including alcoholism, substance abuse, and other addictions. |
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03-07-2015, 03:54 PM | #1 | |||
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Elder
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I always loved my beer, experimented with drugs, still smoke pot... But I'm bipolar and my first tip-off that I was going manic was that I would stop off for a beer and end up coming home after last call...
I was drinking (heavily) on my meds, and the incidents became more frequent. Not good for a marriage. I was drinking at home too, but my husband didn't have a problem with that cuz he's an arm chair alcoholic. We got into a lot of fights over it, and I ended up leaving him. I had side effects from my bipolar meds, and went off them. Then I went on a real tear for a couple of months, hitting the bars most nights or drinking at home alone. I did some things I'm not proud of, including getting a DUI. I was living with my father in a bad situation, that didn't help. I ended up slitting my wrists and OD'ing. I spent 3 days in the hospital, then was forced to voluntarily commit myself for a couple of weeks. I've reconciled with my husband, but after a month dry I've been having a few beers on occasion. I don't drive. I have court on Thursday for the DUI and am going to plead guilty. I spoke to the prosecutor and he said he would recommend a shorter suspension and lower fine, but it's up to the judge. I'm nervous. I know I shouldn't be drinking because I'm an alcoholic, the meds, court... but it's hard... Kay |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
03-08-2015, 07:47 AM | #2 | |||
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Member
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I know it's hard, real hard, but it IS possible if your heart is in the right place. I am a firm believer that everyone has their "own personal rock bottom" and it is different for everyone. I hope you find yours soon as sometimes that is the foundation that you can rebuild your life upon.
I got a DUI back in 2011 (sitting in a parked car) and it was a LONG process to gain the privilege of driving again. I lost my license for a year, had a restricted license, paid the heavy fines, did the State classes, had the breathalyzer in my Land Rover and then had to gain the trust of my friends to even get in a car with me. Sucks. It will be OK. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
03-10-2015, 08:50 AM | #3 | |||
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Elder
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God, I hate to think that THIS isn't rock bottom...
My husband thinks I should lose my right to drive forever because of all the d/d I've done in the past. After a lot of silence, anxiety, and anger I told him he needs to let the state punish me first. A year's a long time. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
03-12-2015, 10:03 PM | #4 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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How did it go today kay?
bizi
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. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
03-14-2015, 11:40 AM | #5 | |||
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Elder
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Thankfully, I got the minimum.
I posted a long reply on the BPD board. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (03-23-2015) |
03-23-2015, 11:05 AM | #6 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
"on day at a time" i understand in the end only You can take care of you with much support for you i understand me
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someone who cares eva |
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03-24-2015, 12:39 PM | #7 | ||
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Member
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I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I don't have a real positive update and don't see much point in being a downer. But in the past 2 months, i have experienced a worsening of my PN symptoms. Fortunately, it's not what I would normally refer to as "pain" so much as something more "pain like" and increased numbness, muscle twitching, and very difficult to describe sensations that most of you can probably relate to, I'm sure. In previous posts, I have described how I quit drinking in July of 2013, then experimented for a few weeks a year later, then dropped it again. My discomfort is considerably worse than when I was first tested by the neurologist in January, 2013. I have an annual physical the first of May and would appreciate any suggestions on topics I should discuss with my regular Doc. I plan to ask him about massage, acupuncture, infrared, and other stuff I am sure he will say are unproven. I suppose i could even ask him about weed, it's legal here for medical use. Any thoughts? Mrs D? Icehouse? Wide-O? Anyone? Thanks!
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (04-03-2015) |
03-27-2015, 09:24 AM | #8 | |||
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Elder
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Quote:
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
03-27-2015, 11:53 AM | #9 | ||
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Member
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
04-03-2015, 01:08 PM | #10 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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your post here i would like to think is divine intervention
my name is Eva i am a recovering alcoholic and addict it been since a rough difficult road i entered AA 1990 got sober in 1992 my hands were the first to have a feel very difficult to explain at first and then my feet and this all began after cervical fusion failed to fuse the first time after the second surgery that took my life as i knew it my physical being will never be the same my hands and feet progressively are worse as time passes i do understand this wasn't a mistake i type with an eraser head on a pencil it is getting to where i want to tape it to my fingers i drop everything everything i hope and pray for the miracles to come as i cannot take anything for my neurological problems as i am allergic to the slew of meds used it was the demon drug Lyrica that helped 4 tablets forget how many mg but suffered severe side effects blisters in mouth heart palpitation trouble with vision and when i stopped that particular drug my hand and toenails all had indentations that eventually grew out my skin around my 20 nails have never been the same i have come to this forum as a recovering addict that has a full understanding as a member of the fellowship i spoke yesterday to a fellow member and friend who i met entering the rooms back in the 90's it's been a long time as he is back in the rooms and remembered me we spoke for a long time and was reminded how very important it is especially with all that is going on and how important it is for me to be heard by my fellow AA Community to get myself back into the rooms to get the emotional support for all the things that are out of my control i needed to be reminded how much i have to offer now a doctor induced addict you may wonder what the hell am i talking about well to have worked so hard for if i had a choice to pick my drug of choice to be in that mind altering state it is A L C O H O L that recreational 3 drinks that warm fuzzy feeling at the end of a long work day waitress full time 10 hrs nights tuesday night till sunday morning my regular schedule sunday and monday my nights off this went on for 12 years along the way many ups and downs always single after divorcing at the age of 24 with a 4,2 and 3 month old never looked back a absent father a dead beat father a scorned man that lost sight of his children for his anger over divorcing him was a decade of hell but i had my fellowship a strong founding community so my friend Michael says to me Eva you need to get back to the basic "LET GO AND LET GO" after having Corissa my forth child out of wedlock with a married man in the fellowship there is a phrase that is used when new comers are at a vulnerable state and is wooed or rather "thirteen stepped" needless, at 3 1/2 months Corissa became ill and had two kidney surgeries in her first year of life 25 days in the hospital and then transferred to a different hospital as her disease specialist Dr. Lamacia saved my babies life finding the correct cocktail of antibiotics that kept her infection at bay for a year so she could build a immune system now my point is at this time i slowly stopped going always practicing what was given to me as i lost my privileges to drinking always just looking for the feeling of those first three drinks gone forever for it is the first drink i needed to stay away from this did not mean all was well as i was getting well those around me could not manipulate anymore as time went on and things went on my involvement with my fellowship dwindled to no meetings at several years and then i got sick my teenage children turning into their 20's now in their 30's are on their issues with me this mommy was always the go to parent as their father chose not to exercise his parental rights this story iv'e already spoke of over the few years here with you guys my friend reminded me i don't have to go through this alone O.K. what is "T H I S" i am in a place where i MUST take my medicines heavy duty ones OPIATES evil when abused this i have not been in such a situation I respect and understand addiction again my choice of drug would be ALCOHOL it tears me up to be on these very powerful drugs i know i must take them to relieve my mechanical pain something that never had a chance to heal properly very long story but the beginning of a very depressing road like never before and then my cancer and that botched job my family not seeing my pain as it is taking advantage of me when i'm down i have custody of my grandchild this too a long story spoken about in this community on other threads i think i'm talking proper computer lingo i will post this now unsure if there is a limit to letters
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someone who cares eva |
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