Save and sound
 

Happy to read it was a good thing in the end
Sleep
There are so many different kinds of problems
One thing I know for myself
It is something that was depleted and reduced to
if I was lucky three hours
It is very important for the body to heal
And then the depressing kind
You have been so selfless in this all
Be well
Always here
Love
Me

Pam,

So glad all went well and home safely. Reading in between the lines; it appears you felt stressed because of worry what might happen. I hope both of you did enjoy some good times. You are his strength. If nothing else; it was a change of environment. (You mentioned his deep sleep throughout the day; do you know if was he taking vallum? If so, this could be the reason.)

I was counting the days when you would be home and wondering how soon afterwards you would post. I knew you left on a Tuesday, the 22nd so figured the ship must have docked yesterday morning, Tuesday, the 29th.

Thanks for the update.


Gerry

Hi Gerry, Valium not the cause, only took one on the first night and then just relied on the Campral. I think he is in major depressive mode, he slept from the time we got home yesterday on the couch in the front room and eventually went to bed early evening, still asleep in bed now the next day. While it is quiet for me due to him being so on edge and irritable, it is not a good quiet as I'm still worried about him. I do wonder if he is BP 2. Anyway, he is safe and well. He put on 2.5kg, not that I can see it so he reckons I need new glasses. I put on .5 kg, I'm happy with that:)

Pam,
That is a bit worrisome. Do you think it would be possible to get him to go for a check-up? Even if there is depression; I would think his getting into some deep sleeping is still a bit unusual.

I pray you will be able to keep your spirits up. This has been very stressful. Hopefully the "rainbow" will soon peek thru seeing both of you enjoying one another.


Gerry

It's been a difficult week. DB still holding onto his sobriety and I'm sure it has been tough for him. His psych believes he is just "bored" and not suffering from anything else. He has some new tapes / recordings he has been listening to and since Monday seems to be full of energy. He ebbs and flows from one extreme to another, a deep funk to brimming with energy and singing at top strength, talking non stop. He is working overtime this coming weekend and then has his introduction / orientation to the mankind project on Monday evening. Fingers xd he doesn't burn out before it and reneg on going.

Taking ones inventory
 

It is not a topic persons like to talk about in sobriety
I having to hang up on my child
This be my grandchild's mother
No more suggestions I have offer
They are exhausted
Yet
I must hang up after telling her
ENOUGH WITH THE EXCUSES
that's it
Then I get a call from her
After not calling her daughter for days
Is taking my inventory
As of she knows what the hell is going on
How she wants to talk to a lawyer about getting custody
of her daughter
How it would be easier that way to get her back
I told her exactly what the judge had to say
Get clean and sober
Give me a profile of yourself
I reminded her of this
I told her I will not agree
to giving the baby back in her care
until she does what she must
And that be a year sober and clean
A home for her and Eva
Clothes and food
This is when I will agree to let her go
Am I nuts
Or is my daughter really
Kidding
She thinks by lifting the responsibility I took on
is something I will give up without good cause
Really
Is she kidding
I ask her all the time
Are you sober
No
No
No
And I tell her when will you get sober
Then the violin comes out with the excuses excuses
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired
It is not a good feeling where I am right now
Sober I am another year
One day at a time
This my family can take with them
A sober mother
A sick sober mother
I need to get stronger
My body is failing me
My neck is worse then ever
Will ask for a MRI
something is up
What
I have no clue
But I feel it
It is strong
And I have to fight
Fight the fight
Have to fight the fight
Know that being sober
Nobody can take that from me
I have a job ahead of me
I need to feel wonderful
Not smothered with all this baggage
Baggage that isn't even mine

My Sunday meeting is my home group
My child's father will be there
And I want to not behave in a misunderstood manner
we share mutual people who know that he is my childs father
It will be uncomfortable for him not me
The weather does not allow that yet
But it is coming
And I have all intentions on speaking on many topics
that will pertain to him in many ways
This I cannot help
It will be spoken of
And he will be the only other one who knows the truth
This day will be a doozy
This I am prepared for
I think
As I leave what I cannot control
In my Gods hands
Only one day at a time
Letting go and letting God
will take some of my burdens off my shoulders
how having to be vigilant in it all
don't know
i cannot be fearful of anything
if i stand in the truth
my child has addict behavior
i have reason to worry
it is difficult
on so many levels

it is half past twelve
Eva's mother calls
can't shop today
maybe tomorrow
this is what it is reduced to
sad
sad
sad i am
Me

Note:
I was to post this elsewhere
Apologies
Me

That all sounds very positive about DB :).

DB seems a bit more upbeat; almost like my daughter who deals with mood swings, along some with some bi-piolar ups and downs.
After doing rehab a couple of times, she has been drug free for several years now.

My daughter has been working with parents as well as those on herion, alcohol, etc. the past few years. She took her exam yesterday and happily, she passed. She now is a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC). Last year she became a Certified Recovery Support Specialist for Mental and Substance Abuse (CRSS).

Prayers and fingers crossed for the success of your husband's intro/orientation on Monday.


Gerry

You are blessed to have each other
 

Dear Pam,
Through this difficult time of transition to sobriety, the one shining star that never seems to fade is your deep and unwavering love and devotion to each other. You have truly been there and by his side, through every level of his transition and you never give up on him. He is a lucky man to have you at his side dear girl. You have a compassionate and caring heart and even though you have had your struggles, you two seem supremely devoted to making your relationship work. God Bless you both Pam. Love, D.

I so agree. Their devotion is an inspiration to all who have followed their journey..


Gerry