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DB journey to sobriety

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Old 04-15-2017, 05:12 AM   #291
kiwi33
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Pamela, that is good that you and DB have sorted things out.

Moving house can be a hard decision.

I have lived in this one for about 35 years. In the next month or so I will hire a carpenter and electrician to do some maintenance. My garden is just bush - I plant native ferns in it and get rid of the invasive introduced plants.

For me the most important thing is the neighbourhood. I live in a cul-de-sac and we all keep an eye on each other without interfering. For example, today my next-door neighbour came round to say that he was off on holiday for a few weeks. I offered to deal with his postal junk mail. He thanked me and said that his son's girlfriend would come round to do that and feed his bird (a cockatiel).

Just my thoughts...
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Old 04-17-2017, 10:22 AM   #292
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I have come to the conclusion that when thinking of downsizing; the sooner the better.

We have been in our current home for several years. The thought of clearing out the accumulation of odds and ends, plus getting the house in order; painting etc., also the outside.... lawn, shrubs, etc. We do have a service for mowing and a so called spring and fall cleanup; but that is does not include replacing overgrown shrubs and many of areas of the lawn look pretty bad. Get overwhelmed.

Have let years ago by with the intention of moving to a smaller place with less land and house to take care for. I wish we had done this years ago. Now; with the additional aches and pains, PN, surgeries, etc., has lead me to believe we might just have to be "carried out" of here on a stretcher. Now the "fiz" has fizzled out. Hmmmmmmmm.....

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Old 04-19-2017, 08:35 AM   #293
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I've arranged for the gardener to start next Wednesday $1950 in total. Plus the brick paver, retainer wall for the shed and artificial lawn (good quality) out front & back yet to be quoted, I don't care it needs doing. I think we'll get our tax return within the next fortnight so it can pay. I went to look at floor coverings to replace the 3 bedrooms and 1 sitting room. I had a funny turn while there, man sat me down got me water while I took some Panamax and watched me drive to my office 200mtr away. Hope to go back Friday with DB to get his agreement... slowly coming together. DB still going through a very dark patch, I can't seem to reach him. He's on holiday this week and yet has had to take a sick dog to vet a Tuesday & again tomorrow where they will knock him out. Something wrong with his shoulder & maybe a seed in his ear. So another annual leave day wasted. But he won't ask for them back, just will talk about it. I'm more sure than ever he has BPII apparently he discussed with his psych , she thinks he has it bit told him not to take the medication it will make him numb!! He already is numb?
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Old 04-20-2017, 08:42 AM   #294
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476 days. Had a lovely day today, my birthday, we had a sick dog to take to the vets in the hills,and it meant a staying up there for the vast amount of day so DB arranged. Mornings tea, a massage & then a light lunch. In all a very lovely day.
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Old 04-20-2017, 04:22 PM   #295
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Pamela, I am glad that you and DB both enjoyed your birthday .
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Old 04-20-2017, 10:32 PM   #296
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAM......
Appears DB was up to the task.....Glad you had an enjoyable Birthday.


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Old 04-21-2017, 08:13 AM   #297
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Went back to the carpet place today. The salesman presented to DB all that I looked at looked at on Weds, without any prompting from me we both agreed on the same colour, pile and underlay. $3030 to do the 4 rooms along with remove the existing carpet & underlay. I was expecting it to be at least $5k, so apparently was DB. He swiftly said yes and signed for it to happen May 16th. On the way home we discused how we will move the furtniture from the rooms being done and where to store the furniture, we agreed it can go in the main living area & garage, and surprisingly while it's all out DB suggested we paint them as well. Consider me shocked... he will call my ex nephew in law who we remain friends with for assistance with moving the furniture, particularly the large lounge /come queen size folder bed (think you call them z beds) from the back bedroom and which will not be returned to that room lol. I said I can move the beds, which I can, I've done them many times, but I just can't move my dads old antique chest of drawers in our bedroom and that lounge in the back room. So between now and May 15 I've got to get rid of the pile of junk accumulated...
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Old 04-21-2017, 12:02 PM   #298
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Well it appears you will be redecorating and getting your place updated with shrubs, painting, etc. to stay in your home. Either way, it is easier to sell should you, in the future decide to size down, with the home and surroundings looking nice and enjoying it in the meantime.

As I previously mentioned; I often regret we didn't size down while we still had the desire and the wherewithall to take what moving entails; especially getting rid of things, packing, cleaning and looking for a new place as well as fixing and decorating it. Just dealing with "mixed regrets"....

Our home and surroundings still look "okay" for now; but if we wait much longer we will need to do updating here as well which make selling a "now" thing. But as I mentioned; don't feel up to it as health has deteriorated and continues to decline which is making the
move pretty close to impossible.

Wishing both of you all the best. Working on a project together can really take DB's mind off "things" and give him something to look forward to enjoying.

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Old 04-21-2017, 05:00 PM   #299
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Belated happy birthday!
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Old 05-05-2017, 06:35 PM   #300
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Spoke to DB psychiatrist yesterday, expressed my concern & felt somewhat better to have my concerns mirrored. Not that it helps DB. He is at an all time low & been having suicidal thoughts again. Psych said DB is a complex case with severe trauma & the MKP is good for him providing he has ongoing support from his treating psychologist. Well that's not happening I said. She told DB at his last visit she could do no more for him & his answers were in MKP. Psychiatrist went off his nut, checked his records and the psychologist DB has been seeing for more than 18 months has not written one single letter, report to him. Psychiatrist put DB onto the psychologist in the first place. He went on to say she can't just palm DB off, she has a duty of care and could be disbarred if she just abandons him. Did some more checking and she hadn't written progress reports to his GP either. Have got DB a visit with GP next Weds for referral renewal (stupid system we have in Aus - referrals to specialists are only for 12 months) to the psychiatrist with the hope to get his medication reviewed and maybe a new psychologist. Feeling rather P155ed off. But on a positive note, psychiatrist very pleased given all DB has gone through he has maintained his sobriety.
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