Pamela, I hope that both the joint session and your meeting on Friday go well.

:hug:

So this will be pretty much the end of the journey.

He’s found his sobriety, (despite drinking last week, but the naltrexone takes away the craving and in drinking it doesn’t get the high he used to get) so he has his sobriety. The efforts I’ve put in to help him sustain and achieve sobriety have all been slapped in my face. I’ve emasculated him, I’ve not supported him, he’s resentful of me and has been unhappy for 2 years and wanted to leave. Now he’s found a younger woman who will do everything for him it’s time to leave.

This all came out at the counsellor and why I wanted to see his Psych because I knew then he couldn’t lie. She told me he’s been complaining about me from the time he started seeing her. His sobriety gave him a new lease on life and he wanted to be off doing things that I couldn’t do. Sure doesn’t sound like the man that lay on the bed for 20 hours a day and journey I’ve described in this journal. But hey he’s always been a good liar. I guess that has not changed. If he wanted to be off doing things it would have been wonderful if he’d got off his butt and done so, then I would not have had to have had the life sapped out of me trying to help him.

I can’t see any way back from this. I certainly won’t be pursuing him or helping him in any way at all ever again.

Dear lovely lady
All of it in YOUR time
All of it
Me

Great thoughts from Eva.

:hug:

Your time indeed, and your terms.

I'm reminded once again that, as humans, all we really have is honesty and integrity. When we start telling lies, or ignore the truth, we lose everything, including ourselves. And it often starts with a few small ones, to end up with a web that is just impossible to clean up.

And just to be clear, I am not referencing PJ here.

Let this thread be a statue for all us people with addictions out there. You can get help for your addiction, you can recover. But you can not recover from untruths.

Dear friend
So beautifully said
So simple yet so so deep in meaning
And let’s do salute
It is a cruel world
I so cannot imagine chasing lies
And how embarrassing for those when I call them on it
For some they are mindful
For other
Well let’s just say this
I have many acquaintances
And I can count on one hand those I trust
You are on the money
Sobering to many to live a life as such
It isn’t difficult
And I cannot for the life of me understand why one would want to chase falsehood
Wide-O
Sobriety is a good thing
I wish the rest of the world have what we have
Amen
Keep on trucking
Me

The final move will be Thursday. He will be gone from my life. Our beloved Bronson DD to the vets this Friday. Rainbow bridge crossing likely. And I will bear this in my own, ToBi DD will be gone with him all I will have left is my beloved Bono DD, also 12 same as Bronson, pining already as he notices the changes in our dynamics. The departure of DB ToBi and Bronson will be a huge blow to his little mind. He loves his mates. He will be lost with out them, as will I.

As ever, my thoughts are always with you.

:hug: :hug:

Finding me posted in General mental health & emotional support
 

I’ve grappled where to post this topic, it’s painful to me, but not like the chronic pain I suffer from. It’s depressing and while I acknowledge I have depression it’s about a journey from depression to living a full life again, and nor is it a topic for alcohol, addiction and recovery. Well it is, but it’s no longer my need to document his journey backwards.

So, I’ve opted for the forum General mental health & emotional support, I hope and pray NT’rs can continue to help me and offer support as I embark on this journey to finding me. I’ve used other forums on here and have always taken comfort in knowing I could turn to NT and it’s emotional support I need right now. I need to be able to write my journey and have advice and support from the community I turn to in need. I am need of emotional support. https://www.neurotalk.org/forum85/

I have no idea how to move forward in terms of making arrangements to be sure I am financially secure. And as I keep telling my family who tell me how easy it all is. I am still supposed to be in hospital, I am unfit and cannot bend or twist. I am emotionally ill, I’m suffering with severe depression and anxiety so my mental health is also unstable. I’m trying to work from home so I can at least have some semblance of income come in, I’m struggling to work and concentrate, I’m struggling with just living. Some days I eat, others barely anything at all. I have cared for this man for 25 years, I have put his needs before mine always, I was the good wife. Now I’m just a fool, discarded when I am at my weakest.

So I’m inviting you to join me on the other forum and share your experiences and advice as I move forward. I understand if it’s too hard a topic for some of you to join me on and if you are unable to do so, please know, the advice and love you have shared with me over these last 2 years will always be treasured.

Full circle
 

As predicted DB has succumbed, his will be a rapid fall from grace. He who is still basking in the glow of his award in November. I feel sad, but relieved he is not here.

As for his psych telling him she doesn’t think he has a problem with alcohol & his problem instead me, I have no pleasure in saying she was wrong.

He contacts me every day. This time, it is something he has to do on his own.