Deep funk
 

DB has increased his Brintellex from 10mg to 20mg this week. His anxiety and depression is crippling him at the moment. His best buddy alcohol was such a source of comfort over the years and worked wonders to mask his anxiety and depression. His psych has told him if he can come to grips with his anxiety issues his compulsion to turn to alcohol will be considerably reduced. I hope so. We leave for our holiday break on the 22nd with the cruise departing Sydney on the 23rd. DB managed a 21 days cruise in 2011 sober, hope he can do this 7 day one the same, he will see his psych the morning before we leave. I hope she has some pearls of wisdom she can share, because from where I sit, with the benefit of knowing his indicative behaviours, a lapse is not far off (or may have happened last week triggering this deep funk?). It's a journey we are in together so all I can do is offer love, support, compassion and positive reinforcement for him. On a good note, he has lost over 10kg since he stopped drinking last August and despite all the recent dental and immune system trauma looks good. That pale puffy alcohol look is long gone & replaced by a strong lean physique, he has grown a beard and looks 10 years younger. I keep telling him he will be a "chic magnet" poolside on the ship.

PamelaJune, that sounds like good advice from DB's psych to me.

That is great that he has lost some weight and is looking good.

I hope that you both enjoy the cruise - I love the idea that he might be a chick magnet poolside :D.

:hug:

PJ
 

It is soooooo good to read all I have
The posts dated
1-3/1-7/1-12-16
On the money
Kiwi33
Awesome support
In your latter posts
I would like to hear more about
taking care of you first
It is a family disease
It is horrible
I know
As I too am a recovering alcoholic for
A little over two decades
The obsession lifted took quite some time
Entering the rooms in 1990
And got serious in 1992
A heck of a ride
Eye opening for everyone around me
It is now my children suffering addiction
Prevelent in my family blood line
And heritage
You can google
Hungarian are top in the world of alcoholics and suicide
If you google in
"Gloomy Sunday"
A brief description of us
My mother never drank
Smoked cigarettes
Gave that up in her fifties
Now with ALL of the problems she is
suffering and her age
Has become a physician induced addict
In my thought assessing her ailments
She at 76 is way to risky
She has atrial fibrillation
And goiter
And soooo many other problems
Hence my issues at my age
Having to be vigilant
And keeping negative forces can be a B***H
I know
You my dear are holding your own
Soooo proud how you have described handling him
and the situation at hand
Empowering yourself is just beautiful stuff
I so pray for the both you enjoying this upcoming trip
And pray for his very sick sister
You go girl
With much love and support
Me

And we're off
 

First leg of the holiday, fly to Sydney Australia. Woohoo. We are both stressed to the max, I said at 3.30 when we got up, it's not to late to cancel... DB says we gotta keep on living a life, but he knows how terrified I am of his funk and with his mindset the balcony offers a quick step off. Sorry to sound maudlin but he really is agitated. I'm thinking now I should never have gone ahead with this, of course when we booked he had a semblance of control, drinking yes, but able to high function. Sadly as we know 12 months ago the high functioning came non functioning. He seems positive this morning but the last two nights unbearable and back to taking Valium, hadn't taken any for over 3 months.
On a positive note, the chic magnet still looks good so that's what we've got to embrace, look good, feel good and live for the moment, the minute, the hour the day, tomorrow is tomorrow and we can't worry about it. :hug:

I hope that you both have a relaxing time on the cruise :).

Pam,
Not sure why Vallium is a problem for him in his recovery program. I have been taking (2) 5mg' Vallium since spinal surgery 9 years ago (The Vallium was originally given to me while in the hospital). I often cut them in half.

Again, just curious where this fits in and whether this may help him thru some of the bad times. Is taking the Vallium off and on a problem??

I pray both of you have a wonderful enjoyable cruise/vacation. Heaven knows it is time for both of you to enjoy one another.

Gerry

Hi Gerry, DB had Valium only prescribed when he gave up alcohol 6 months ago, they won't prescribe it for him long term as it causes more problems down the track with dependency and his psychologist doesn't want him to take it, he had to take the Valium because his craving is massive and are left over from when I was prescribed last year.

We went out for dinner tonight with his two aunts and one uncle, lovely night out with good food and company, he got through it and seems to be ok. In better spirits tonight than the last few.

Enjoy the cruise! I love cruises....but that was back when I was drinking....

We are home and still sober
 

We enjoyed the short break, it was a difficult 7 nights for sure but as usual I'm in awe of his mental strength. Sleep has been his salvation, but also a worrying concern (sleeps in a deep sleep for hours and hours throughout the day). I'm glad to be home safe n sound.

It is good to read that you both enjoyed the break :).