The road is long and hard for us both, my friends on here are just the best, you give me such hope, support and advice and I will always be grateful for NT.
We saw the GP Wednesday, she doesn't want to refer him to a specialist until he has finished these 2 weeks outpatient care and his 4 weeks inpatient care down South, but did tell him his gastritis and barretts is severe and it will take months for his gut to heal and he will need 6 monthly gastroscopies.

Blackwood is a new clinic, they specialise in addiction and recovery, specifically alcohol dependence and ice users who graduated from alcohol to ice. Such an insidious drug and this makes it a challenge for DB given his job as a DDO (drug detection officer) not the fact they are or have been users, but when back into mainstream work he runs the risk of being recognised when out and about. So, he is growing a beard, unshaven now for a week and looks dreadful. A small part of me hopes he doesn't keep it long term...

He says the cravings are not as bad as expected, but some days and hours are worse than others. He is learning a lot and is with a good group of participants at the moment.

Don't know who will be at the clinic down south but he is hopeful they will be a good crowd and not like a number of them discharged from the clinic up here in the city the fortnight he was in. The hospital only holds 30 and is always full. There was a group of 6 there in the 2nd week who were very immature and spoilt, sneaking out over the fence, encouraging boyfriends to break-in, friends flying drones over the rooftop and dropping drugs in... so the hospital had to go into lockdown, 24 of them just got in with it, but it meant no one could go outside and smoke. The 6 set off the fire alarms twice, as soon as the alarm went off the fire doors open and out they dashed to smoke. All 6 discharged the next morning but they were very disruptive for the remainder of the night and the other 24, many of them mature patients like DB were frazzled and suffered with anxiety and panic attacks.

Like I said, the road to recovery is long and hard, I have to attend meetings with the city clinic staff while DB is down south, a part of the program is partners have to commit to attending a minimum of 4 sessions. I'm hopeful it will give me tools to use that will benefit us both in the long run. I have to overcome my fear of being out on my own, this crippling feeling of not being able to even go for a simple walk is just stupid.

Hi PamelaJune,

Glad your husband has been seen by his GP.

I have always found it exciting/hopeful when family members have made a commitment to face alcoholism, detox and commit to a treatment program.
Sometimes, the same family member was making his/her 4th decision to follow through, and I still found their resolve exciting and hopeful. I feel it can sometimes (probably often) takes more than one attempt at detox and treatment.

It seems there are often subsets of clients whom are not serious about detox and/or treatment and are sneaking in drugs and/or drinking when out on privileges, etc. This can feel discouraging to those with a serious commitment, as the various "games played" often also take from the program for those there meaning business.

I hope your husband's healing, on all levels, will go well.

I have been to many Alanon, Adult Children of Alcoholics and public AA meetings. As I have mentioned, many people in my family have suffered/do suffer from alcoholism. I have always found benefits to attending these meetings.

I hope you will also benefit from the meetings you will be attending.

Is the anxiety about going out alone a new anxiety?
It's truly not "stupid," by the way. Maybe feels stupid to you though?

I have watched a friend of mine become agoraphobic just since her husband has passed on. In her case, the anxiety was based on old issues, again resurfacing in her life. There is often a very good reason for these types of anxieties.

Be ultra-kind to yourself (self-compassion) about this, about everything.

You and your husband are in my daily thoughts and prayers.

Offering support, Love and Prayers,
DejaVu

Hi DejaVu, thank you for your strength and support. I shouldn't use the word stupid, what I should have said is it is frustrating and driving me lower and lower. I suffered PTSD after my MVA, I am now a destination person, I only go out if I absolutely have to. Getting back to work was a step forward but lately even that is becoming a bigger challenge by the day. I can't put my finger on the "why" it just is. I used to love to go outside and go for drives, now loud noises fill me with fear and I no longer enjoy the outdoors. I even struggle sometimes to answer the phone and talk to people in fear they will want me to go somewhere. I have looked at and considered agoraphobia and am very aware I could end up a sufferer unless I can address it now. I'm hoping the meetings for DB will lead me a pathway where I can find more energy and encouragement to deal with it now. There is no time like the present. I'm seeing my PM within the next month to deal with the severe pain flare ups and have a referral to a new psych. So much to do and so little energy. Pain mgt is all consuming when it is not under control. I'm also having more blood tests, I have regular vitamin B12 injections but I might be lacking in iron? Just tired, so very tired all the jolly time and fed up with feeling this way. I used to be energetic even when in pain but now zero. I will get through this, I'm determined to be a better me and see in this Xmas without a hospital stint!

When my daughter was in rehab, I had attended sessions for supposes, family, etc. I found them very beneficial. Learned many signs or indicators of the thinking that addicts use or do.
One of the benefits I received during her rehab in 1997 was after many years and attempts; I quit smoking. Both her and I have had success with her last program in 1997.

Very unfortunate your husband had a group of very mature individuals. Often, their parents or part of a rehab program imposed on them. They really can be disruptive because they have no desire to be there or want to quit.

I'm sure you will be grateful for these session. The insight and understanding will be something that will be lifetime information and knowledge that will help both you and your husband in the years ahead.

Prayers are with both of you as you continue this journey.


Gerry