DB still in rehab, 42 days sober and seems to be immersing himself in all available treatment. His journey to sobriety and self discovery has come at a costly expense.
Hard to believe he will be home in less than 10 days, the time has flown by. All the things I had hoped to do while he was gone remain undone; move the limestone retaining bricks for the wall out back, move the paving bricks to where they need to be put down, sort out the reticulation, repair the hole in the pond and blow vac the back yard. I told my work colleagues and they looked at me wordlessly, I went on to say I've grown up a lot lately, I realised I'm not well enough to do those things myself, in fact physically not at all. They looked at me in relief, big steps for me to really and truly admit I am no longer physically able to do these things, but I confess I did get the trolley out of the garage ready to begin the jobs.
Little wonder DB has felt like he has a load on, he has been wanting to do 3 of those jobs for the last 5 years. Imagine looking at those bricks and pavers everyday for 5 years wishing he had the energy but instead the energy went to fighting his demons, dealing with work, the animals, my shitty health and running round after my ever demanding family. Sinking into alcohol oblivion must have looked ever so inviting. Once he is back at work and we have some money coming in again, I am going to get the retic man in and a handyman for the yard jobs. DB is a perfectionist and perhaps he might enjoy giving the handyman a helping hand. Either way, they have to be done.