Pam....

There's a whole network of people that can help you. Look up codependency on the internet. There are groups that have online meetings for people who for any reason can go out to a meeting. They are anonymous so you don't need to worry about your stuff being shared outside of the group. You can also reach out to these people and they can talk to you on the phone. I wish that I lived closer to you because I could come to you. I know that you feel so alone and lost. You are not alone. There are loads of us out there like you.

I would like you to think about things you can do for yourself. Read a book, do some gardening, take a bath, take a time out to craft or talk to your friends. Even a 5 minute phone call to a friend can do wonders to change a bad day. Also, grownups need timeouts just as much, if not more, than children do. Naps are another way to take some time for yourself and daydreaming works too. The possibilities are endless but you need to choose something because this is for your well being.