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Old 02-15-2017, 06:51 PM #261
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DB went bicycle riding yesterday - first time on a bike (outside) in years. We bought new bikes back in 2012, I rode mine (with 4 vertebrae fractures as we found out later lol) in determination to try enjoy a vacation break in our summer house. DB at the time deep in the grips and not remotely interested in fresh air etc. So I was very surprised when he announced he was going riding Weds around the foreshore with a mate of his from work. His mate cycles regularly and is a non drinker, he asked DB as we live so close to the foreshore could he come to ours to park & then go cycling. DB said go one better, I'll join you. They cycled about 30k, it's 12k round the foreshore, they did it twice plus added on an extra leg by going over to the bay. All in all it's a beautiful cycle path with wonderful scenery, that coupled with cracking weather yesterday seems to have made for a good day out. He was knackered & when I got home snoring like a trooper on the settee. DB said this morning he enjoyed it so much he might make it a weekly outing and maybe when I'm better I can join him. I'd love that, I got the bikes in the first place so we could cycle together on the foreshore, I had gone a few times but not since 2013 when I hung the bike up (literally from the roof in the garage) & it's not been down since. I hope I can get well enough to do it.
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Old 02-20-2017, 03:32 AM #262
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DB setttled into a deep funk again. Nothing seems to reach him, refused to speak with his family on Sunday night. RDO's the last 3 days, his funk descends every fortnight on his weekend RDO. He verbalised today he thinks it's because weekend RDO's always meant time to drink. And now weekend RDO he just doesn't know what to do with himself. I'm making sure he is drinking water and not getting dehydrated in this humid weather. But I can't do much more for him when I'm not in the best health myself. He managed to get himself out of the bed and to the couch. It's a huge improvement, no meals eaten in bed either. He chose not to go to an I group last night, not sure he could have driven himself anyhow. There is another tonight but he says it finishes at 10 and it's too late given he has to be up at 4 in the morning for work. I've offered to drive him there and pick him up so he can sleep on the way home, but the way he is, I tend to agree a 10pm finish will be too much for him. I still wonder if he is bipolar type 2. Wish I was better equipped to deal with this. Tired of worrying anything I say might tip him over the edge, and I don't mean into the soothing arms of alcohol.
I will see my GP this week and get a referral to a cardiologist. That may take some stress off of his mind. His partner was rushed back into ICU yesterday so in all DB has had a cruddy hospital weekend of stress. I've tried to explain its one reason why he may be feeling so blue, things appear to be beyond his control right now and while sober control is something he has always preferred to have.
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Old 02-20-2017, 03:47 AM #263
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Forgot to add, DB sister has been allocated a bed. March 28th she goes in. This is a different rehab apparently to what she has been on previously. The previous seem to have been hospital environment locations. This one while associated with the hospital is not a hospital environment and has apparently a quality success rate. It's for 13weeks and costs £38 a week. Seems very cheap to me and must be subsidised by the NHS. DB BIL whining about it costing £38 a week. He shut up very quickly when I told him DB rehab cost $690 a week and at one stage $500 a night. BIL (T) has offered G £10k again & for them to go their separate ways. I told G I didn't want really to be involved or to interfere but, she & T worked hard all their married life, the bungalow they live in is mortgage free & valued in excess of £200k. As his wife she is entitled to half, to settle and take £10k only would be not the cleverest move she could make. I suggested she do rehab, wait until she comes out and then make decisions based on how she feels then. I get the feeling BIL is trying to take advantage of G vulnerability, and of course my DB doesn't want to be having any conversations with G until she is sober and the other brother M, well as I explained they all no longer talk. I guess the saying you reap what you sow has not helped G in any way. Her drunken behaviour over the years has not been kind. But I can't let that get in the way of offering responsible advice. Hold off until you are in a position to make sensible choices. If BIL takes to her with his fists again, the police are now on red alert and won't be far away. The neighbours know if they hear her scream to call the police immediately. A safe roll on to March 28 is all I can hope for. Dad won't be able to cope with anything should anything happen.
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Old 02-20-2017, 05:31 PM #264
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DB in a sad state.
We had a difficult start to the morning, 4am alarm, up I get to do the animals, DB not moving. I follow an established routine. DDDOgs 1,2&3 are Labs eat their food in a flash. DDDOg 4 fiddles around & I'm back n forth trying to coax him. Later when it's dawned I go and do the poos. Last Thursday I noticed DDDog 4 passing bloody stools, the night before he seemed tucked up and he hadn't eaten well for 2 nights, rang DB at work on Thursday so DB could take him to the vet, they examined him, seemed well but just in case put him on antibiotics. He's seemed fine since but does still faff around eating. He is a white GS, I've only ever had Labs & retrievers who eat their food likes it's their last. So I spend the hour before DB goes to work going back n forth coaxing DD4 to eat. When we got him he was dreadfully thin. Thursday he weighed 31.5kg, vet said for his age, a bit underweight but not to worry so long as he's eating.
Our Abyssinian 10yrs cat is unwell but I'm working with what we've got to keep her as well as we can (gone from 4.3kg to 3.4kg) I've got her on normal dry food diet along with pouches of wet food later then kitten food & lactating mothers milk & her normal meal again at night as recommended by vet. Apparently she may have myasthenia gravis, seemingly common in Abys at the age of 10. Will know more soon.
DDDOg1 also 10yrs and is declining in health rapidly, work dogs they say live a reduced life span. He's given it his all so we make his final years as comfortable as we can. I know seeing him decline upsets DB.
DB colleague DDO rushed back into ICU on Saturday, his health very poor, respiratory system seems to be struggling. His weight apparently a factor (slightly overweight) & he too suffers with depression.
Dad with his Parkinson's progressing to next stage and the prostate cancer diagnosis & then me with yet another heart scare following the anaesthetic.
This all seems to have hit DB hard, he spent the weekend horizontal, I genuinely believe if I hadn't been here to do the animals it would have overwhelmed him and he'd suicide. It's where his mind is at right now. So after doing the morning routine I came into the bedroom with his cuppa and he announced I'm not going to work. Now ordinarily I would have said I understand and just got on with my own routine.

Last year however management determined he had created a pattern of not turning in over a 15 month period for 3 Tuesdays & 2 Wednesdays. Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon are busy days with dog searches and people visits & the boys always turn in no matter how sick they are so as the visits routine is not disrupted & the prisoners get to see their loved ones. Tues & Weds no visits so they involve training, internal searches, admin and of late, more frequently redeployment within the prison. I may have explained DB & his colleague are the most hated men in the prison on account of their job and the dogs. These 2 days are difficult & both DB & his colleague dislike them, that feeling of going to work not knowing if what you've planned to do with dog training & admin wise will come to fruition or, if you will be deployed and be spat at, verbally abused etc. It comes with the job and is known territory for all staff there, the DDO's suffer it more than the CO's. But in the main they get on with it.

You may recall DB had the dental saga along with his leg haematoma which resulted in him struggling into work on the visits days & taking either a Tues or Weds as sick along with 1 Friday only. 6 days off ill over 15 months, (keep in mind my background is HR & I've dealt with people with considerably more sick days than just 6 over a 12 month period) so in all considering the state he was with his dental and leg issue. Many a day he struggled in to work with a swollen blueish blackened bruised face or hobbled badly with his leg. Anyhow Mgt pulled him in and said he has an established sickness pattern. It made him feel sick just with the statement alone, he felt dreadful, bitter & angry. As a functioning alcoholic he rarely (if ever) over 10 yrs employment took time off sick, but of course with his rehab in and hospitalisation with the Barrett's he used most of it up in 2015.

I digress sorry, so this morning given the situation not so long ago where he was reamed over the coals for a pattern Tuesday/Wednesday I had to be firm & convince him to go. I got his breakfast, tablets, got probiotic and nexium to settle his stomach. Put on the video Gladiator (he used to love it and found it motivating back in the 90's) in essence I did all I could to get him out the door. Do I feel good about myself, no, I feel sad I've made him go to work when I know he's unwell, but I also know had he stayed home he will have castigated himself all day long saying repeatedly I wish I'd gone.

He didn't go to the I group last night & I don't seem able to reach him in this funk. It's a bad one, it's up there with when he was suicidal back in 2011. He opened up a little before he left saying his psych told him what he experienced back home in Wales with his brother wasn't the norm, if he lived there it would not have been like that, M will have been at work and the comradre they experienced while wonderful wouldn't have been a daily experience, it's just he was home on holiday & by fortune his brother had taken time off to be with him. Life will have been life going on as it normally does & everyone getting on with what they do. So it seems DB is still harbouring this thought of moving back home to Wales and the valleys, even though he knows life as it was is not like that. It's just life as it is here is too hard for him right now.

Maybe it's time he quit this job, he's been in it for over 11 years, it's thankless and full of grief. I still seethe at the way he was treated by Mgt last year, 6 days is nothing. They have people up there in senior & non senior CO positions who have in excess of 20 days a year, call in ill at the drop of a hat. But DB & his colleague because there only 2 of them their absence is noticed immediately. It sucks and I feel so bad for him, not to mention for myself for convincing him to go. I'm at the end of my tether, I don't know how much more I can take. I love him dearly but this funk has nothing to do with booze. It's more to do with him, I just don't think he likes who he is, maybe it's why he drank in the first place.

So the only the positive i can come up with is the sun is shining and he's gone, once he rings to let me know he's arrived safely I will feel a little better. I have a job list as long as my arm to do today not the least collect my walking stick from the hospital which I left there Saturday as they wheeled me out in a wheelchair. Sorry to be a gloomy doom downer ...

Edit: DB just phoned to say they arrived safely, the positive sunny weather disappeared, such unusual weather we are having here for summer, temps are quite cool and 5 min after DB left the heavens opened & it's been hammering down. Summer rains makes the roads super slippery and we have far to many nutters out there on the roads... as do you all wherever you may reside.
Hugs to everyone, I feel like I need plenty so maybe y'all feel just like me.

Post edit: email just received
Thanks for your help I could not of done it without it. Don’t know how long I can keep going on. I will have to become a Viking and get stuck in LOL. Thanks, Love you.

My heart breaks for this love of my life.
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Last edited by PamelaJune; 02-21-2017 at 03:02 AM.
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Old 02-21-2017, 03:10 AM #265
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DB saw GP the week before last and she insisted he go for blood tests. He said he'd just had them done (which he had) & his liver was all good, nevertheless she insisted. He had fasting bloods taken last Thursday morning. Received a letter by mail at lunch time today for him to contact the surgery urgently for a follow up on his blood results and to mention the letter when phoning for the appointment. I've rung him and he's made the appointment, I won't know until he gets home when but it will be either Thursday or Friday his RDO.
I don't know what to think but this is surely why he is feeling so low with zero energy and why he is struggling with life. I'm hoping it's his thyroid and not the Barrett's but it's no good to speculate hey. Will let you all know when we know. I neglected to point out the glaringingly obvious positive. How I could have let it escape me given all he is facing right now is beyond me. In the past he will have turned to alcohol to soothe & numb his soul, remove the stress and trauma. How good is it that he's 418 days sober. My poor DB love, life is really dishing up lemons ATM.
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Old 02-21-2017, 07:44 AM #266
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Pamela, sorry that I am late here but (long story) my ADSL/Wifi router died and it took some time to get a new one.

It sounds to me that you and DB have a fair bit to cope with recently though your Valentines Day meal sounds great .

I hope that the investigations of your spine problems have helped.

As far as DB is concerned 418 days is tremendous .

I trust that whatever his GP has noticed gets resolved quickly.

for both you and DB.
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Old 02-21-2017, 05:14 PM #267
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9.15 am Friday. I've done the silly Dr Google search, his symptoms suggest he has GERD, or Hypothyroidism, or Graves Disease or a combination of any or of course none at all. Last night I felt a sort of relief, he has something and that something may be fixable, I can't explain it. Thanks for bearing with us on this journey.
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Old 02-22-2017, 12:07 AM #268
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Pam, some years back, my GP did some lab work. Without my realizing she also added the thyroid test. She called me a few days later to tell me I had Graves Disease. I had never heard of it. She said I never mentioned having any of the symptoms. I had given up smoking a few months prior so I thought what I was going through was due to cigarette withdrawal

The doctor then explained Graves Disease is Hyperthyroidism. She had me go to a specialist; Endocrinologist who did additional testing. I did in fact have Graves Disease. I was prescribed Tapazole (sp?) for 2 years. Went into a few months of remission; then the Hypothyroid began (low thyroid).

So for the last several years have been on Synthroid. My Endocrinologist has my TSH lab tested every 5 months to be sure I am taking the correct dosage. After taking the same dose for several years, the last lab indicated I needed an increase in my Synthroid. Hypothyroid, without medication can make you very sluggish, tired, weight gain, etc. Being Hypothyroid usually is lifetime . Thankfully there is medication to help with this disease.

Hopefully you and DB will finally get the help needed.

Gerry
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Old 02-24-2017, 06:22 PM #269
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Bloods are in but I confess I don't understand them all. I should preface this with since he had the November blood tests DB has put on 7kg. (2.2lb to 1kg)

Last blood tests in November 2016 were not fasting so not everything is comparable, in November all we were really worried about was his liver and his testosterone levels, the liver came back good except for a comment from men's health GP who said to DB you have a low grade infection going on somewhere, but at this stage nothing to worry about. The testosterone low and his injections moved from every 14 days to every 10.
Kidney
PSA 1.1, may be associated with an increased risk of prostatic neoplasia. (is prostate cancer genetic? Dad recently diagnosed) MSU required to establish if he has a urinary infection. I wonder if he's had a urinary tract infection for quite some time. His pee is always strong (I mean really strong) smelling. I thought he's not been drinking enough water so I am always telling him to drink more. When he's home he doesn't unless I remind him or give it to him.
Glucose fasting
6.0 Previous test December 2015 5.2. Further testing required if patient is not a known diabetic. GP says he must consider his diet & portioning. He pigs out on dried fruit & nuts, massive bowls of sugar laden muesli for breakfast and added yogurt & custard. I've been singing belly's gonna get ya for the last 2 months. Think GP comment has hit home.
Liver function
December 15 AST 25, November 16 AST 29. February 17 AST 35. A significant increase. I have not asked if he's been drinking, I believe he would have told me if he had. GP says he is carrying a lot of fat around his belly and it could be impacting his liver.
Cholesterol - Previous 4.5 now 5.0
Triglyceride - 1.7 now 1.1
HDL Chol - 1.1 now 1.2
Coronary risk ratio - 4.1 now 4.2
LDL CHol- 2.6 now 3.3

LIPID fraction
LDL Chol target <2.0 DB is 3.3
HDL Chol target >1 DB is 1.2
Triglyceride <1.5 DB is 1.1
GP told him he has to lose 7kg, control portioning, cut out sugar & processed foods. So no more muesli laden with custard etc for breakfast I do his dinner already & if home at the same time his lunch. But what he eats at work or when he's home & I'm at work is showing significantly on the belly!! I offered to portion out his breakfast for the next 4 weeks, he says that will be great, can you do it the night before? My comment, you've got to be kidding me, I already get up and do your animals for you at 4am, I'm not blinking well getting your breakfast ready the night before. 2 reasons, if I do it the night before he will eat it before bed, it will feed into his OCD routine even more.
Renal function
Urea was 4.8 now 4.4
Creatinine was 109 now 114
eGFR was 67 now 63 (November 2014 test was 73)
Sodium was 141 now 142
Potassium was 4.5 now 4.6
Chloride was 100 now 99
Bicarbonate was 27 now 29
Renal function eGFR calculated using CKD EPI from 21.05.13
Comments on collection 14.2.17 note eGFR units are mL/min/1.73m2. As age > 50yrs suggest microalbumin (Kidney Health Australia | Kidney Health Australia)

So in all, he could be pre-diabetic unless he takes steps to manage his diet. He may have a low grade infection ?? Urinary tract infection & he needs to lose at least 6kg. None of this tells me why he is so fatigued, depression causes fatigue I know. I did attempt to explain to him sugar highs and how the low is so much worse & debilitating at times.
I have suggested we walk to the gym rather than car it, walking is a pre warm up, cool down, gets in quality vitamin D and is cardio to help lose weight. Automatic response No, I do enough walking at work & walking aggravates my calf muscle. This could be true, it does still swell significantly on occasion, apparently a bloke from work has said the calf tear of the magnitude he had can take up to 6 months to heal, I think his has been longer than 6 months. So anyway, I drove us to the gym and parked as far away from the door as I could. If he's doing so much walking at work it would be showing on the belly...

He is obsessed with weight lifting, (tied to his OCD and from when as a child always told he's a little thin thing) it's all he does when I observe him at the gym, he says he does cardio and may well do at his work gym, but at ours never, just weights. He also consumes these whey supplement products like there is no tomorrow. Some supplements shop sales person sold him on the idea a few years back $300 a pop with 3 different products & he keeps going back to buy more. 1 is supposed to help muscle repair (doing a great job on the calf tear -not), another is to drink while at the gym & the 3rd I have no clue, but I have seen him ladle it also onto his muesli. Perhaps these supplements are full of sugar and are causing the rises to his liver as well. I don't buy into this muscle supplement crapola, it would be be different if he was a weight lifter for competition & it was his income but he is not. It's a waste of money, no one really knows what's in the stuff and even the men's health GP last year suggested he not take them.
Very confused, worn out and less than hopeful now, I can't see my quality in life improving while he is in and out of these deep funks, and by that I mean, I'm struggling to maintain the upkeep on the house inside & out and the animals. He comes home and is horizontal unless he goes to the gym or the shops. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up.
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Old 02-24-2017, 09:48 PM #270
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Pam,
You had some concerns about thyroid function. I do not see anything relating to testing/lab for the TSH or T3,T4 for Thyroid disease. Since DB is having issues, it would be good if doctor would do testing. It's simply lab/blood work that could have been included in this test.

I had no idea my GP at the time had added these to my lab work. Glad she did because, as previously mentioned, when she got the results, she called me to inform me I had Graves Disease (Hyperthyroid) and needed to see and Endocrinologist for further testing.

It is really so difficult to maintain all that needs to be done. Unfortunately, this may eventually mean downsizing.

Hold on tightly dear friend.


Gerry

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