[eva5667faliure]

hi
my name is eva
i am a recovering alcohol and addict

i was i deep thaught about this
and in the end i figured if allowed
as i speak of myself
my experience strength and hopes

as i believe i am in the correct forum
my situation does not allow me to
be at my regular 3 times a week meetings
with my fellowships for quite sometime
the one meeting i maintained or always will be the
meeting i would always be at
and that meeting is on sunday morning 9:00 A.M.
my home group
the very First meeting i went to when i entered into the
fellowship A.A.
and ironically the first person to welcome me to the
fellowship is my youngest child father
i have four children
3 girls and a son
ages 34, 32, 30 of my marriage
my 17 year out of wedlock
2 of my children are having a very difficult time with
living life on life terms
both too are addicts as my 2 other children
are recovering
all four of my children
they watched their mother get sober
i entered the fellowship in 1990
didn't get sober until 1992
as life situations at the time of my 4th child
became very ill spiking a fever off the charts
truly off the charts
i stood in the hospital shower to bring her
fever down
in the end a disease specialist
Dr. Lamacia found the cocktail antibiotics
she needed to be on till her immune system
could build and had 2 surgeries in her first year of life

and the following 16 years just got worse as my eldest
had her first grand maul seizure in 2003
a vibrant smart college student and worker
all seized as she knew her life to be
i was there for it ALL she still lived home
and was dating her high school sweetheart
now married after two brain surgeries partial occipital lobe
removed as that is where her seizures would begin
after removal we needed to wait and see
and for her to have permanent loss of vision
and to have her seizures to have returned then
had what is called a VNS a implant of a devise placed
in the chest underarm area and a magnet on her wrist
to wave over the implant when a seizure begins
it reboots the brain
yup
at her side till she got over her 10 year depression
we are now estranged
then i got sick
i have custody of my grandchild for obvious reasons
mom and dad addicts
estranged with her
and my son just started to reach out after being estranged
after stealing from me

SO

i was hoping if there might be any one out there
who is in the fellowships i could invite as it is so so
very difficult to get out to a meeting

it took a friend who reminded me of so much
i have been missing from my fellowship
that i know what i need to do is surrender
and
LET GO AND LET GOD
will post and continue....