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Old 02-21-2017, 02:33 PM #1
Vowel Lady's Avatar
Vowel Lady Vowel Lady is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Vowel Lady Vowel Lady is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,190
15 yr Member
Default Advise needed again

I ask for your patience with these questions.

Had an opportunity to see our friend again who we are sure is an alcoholic.

He also has a health condition and I looked it up and it is worsened by excessive drinking.

They live in another state, so we only see them (the couple) once or twice a year. But, we have known them for a long time.

Each time we see them, esp. in the last few years, we notice subtle, worsening of this "condition."

We never say anything.

He is in his 60s and doing well in his career, but there are some subtle concerns of not being up to par.

This couple, this man, are extremely intelligent and kind.

Due to subtle things mentioned and not mentioned (so I don't know for sure...just a strong hunch) I have a feeling they may have lost a few friends due to his drinking. And, I have a hunch they appreciate it that we don't mention it.

We don't drink and drive...taking cabs or walking everywhere. We encourage this and they seem to appreciate it. It is actually something I greatly admire about them.

But, I can't help with each subsequent visit feel worried...more and more worried, that he will end up extremely sick and eventually could even die. I notice that the wife seemed tense at the last visit. Is this typical? Do spouses worry that their partner might embarrass them? Pass out? That guests might mention the drinking?

Bottom line...is there anything productive AT ALL we could do to help? Is just being their friends helpful? I subtly told them a story or two about myself and another person I know who when in a horribly tight spot had to turn to God for help. Very specifically...should I ask if there is anything I could do? Should I EVER mention it? Would you recommend I keep my mouth SHUT? Sometimes I wonder if they just simply would like a good friend (as would all of us!) I sure do appreciate their wonderful friendship.
I have moments that this greatly bothers me. Such a sad thing.
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