I hope you all don't mind if I ask this, but I just want to find out some facts.

Exactly what separates a social drinker from an alcoholic??

I don't drink. I do not like the taste of alcohol. Oh, I've had the occasional glass of wine with dinner, but that's it. It has to be in a pretty glass and I'll probably drink half of it.

I have been told that it would be beneficial to have a glass of wine with dinner because it's good for the heart. I also have diabetic neuropathy and I know that it might inflame the neuropathy so I don't drink any alcohol at all. The last time I had any wine was probably at a wedding 4 years ago. So drinking is not My thing.

But I have friends who sit out at night in the back yard and have some beers. I have other friends who bring out margueritas and dacqueries (spelling, sorry), and they chug a lug them on the weekends (but they all work and don't do this during the week).

As a matter of fact, several years ago, I was at a nighttime chip and dip thing in someone's backyard and they brought out pitchers of this and that and poured them into glasses. I had never tasted margueritas, etc. I found them delicious. But I had maybe one glass of each and that was that for me.

But they were doing this all night long.

Does this make one an alcoholic? Or are these (all women), just gals getting together on a hot summer night to drink ladies drinks??

I really don't know the answer.

I grew up in a household where, on holidays and special occasions, the highballs were served, whiskey sours, 7 and 7's and beer was served. My mother had 10 brothers and sisters, and on various occasions, I would see drinking. Never thought much about it because no one passed out and we all played cards during the night, then had coffee and cake.

I never knew my own mother was an alcoholic. I thought EVERYBODY's mother was sitting at the kitchen table when their 12 year old came home from school, and she'd be sitting there with a glass of scotch. Always scotch, never anything else. She never slurred, I never saw any disturbing kind of behavior. She was a mean person and we never got along, but I never attributed it to drinking.

Only when I was 24 and my parents moved to Florida, did my father call me and tell me "the superintendent of the apartment complex told me I better reign in my wife's drinking, she's getting out of hand". That's when I said 'Mom drinks??? Honestly, no one ever told me anything.

I told him to check for scotch bottles, and empty glasses. I flew there on many occasions, and they had a bar with lots of alcohol. But my mother had family in Florida, and there was ALWAYS people over and drinks were served. I never drank because it's not my thing. Food WAS my thing, but it's not any longer, thank god for that.

I distinctly remember my father singing and playing the ukelele with a drink in his hand on Christmas and on News Years Eve, but that was it for him.

Everybody else drank highballs on the weekends.

So does this constitute social drinking, or was everybody an alcoholic.

I believe my mom was. She was a nurse and worked the night shift, and I was visiting in Florida when I was in my late 20's. She must have been 56 or so. She came home at 7 a.m. and I watched her go to the liquor cabinet and pour herself a glass of scotch. I ran over and said AHA!!!! got you. and she jumped and said 'Don't tell your father, you don't understand, you just got up and had breakfast, I'm just coming home from work, so I have to unwind"

I tried to speak to her but it was like I was wrong and didn't understand and SHE knew what SHE was talking about.

If anyone can give me some answers, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks much.

Mel

alcoholism is an addiction, and as such it isnt a matter of choosing when or whether to drink or how much. one HAS to have alcohol and not having it causes physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms. A sober alcoholic cant risk ever having another drink...nomatter how long they have been sober, because "one drink is too much, and a whole bottle is never enough"

so I guess IMHO there is a very big difference between social drinking and alcoholism, tho many social drinkers might be alcoholics kwim

I found some sites and info on how to tell -

[Do you have to be an alcoholic to experience problems?

No. Alcoholism is only one type of an alcohol problem.
Alcohol abuse can be just as harmful.
A person can abuse alcohol without actually being an alcoholic—that is, he or she may drink too much and too often but still not be dependent on alcohol. Some of the problems linked to alcohol abuse include not being able to meet work, school, or family responsibilities; drunk-driving arrests and car crashes; and drinking-related medical conditions. Under some circumstances, even social or moderate drinking is dangerous—for example, when driving, during pregnancy, or when taking certain medications.]
http://www.medicinenet.com/alcohol_a...lism/page3.htm

http://www.alcoholandfamilies.org.uk...ted_others.htm

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/alcoholism.htm

http://www.alcoholscreening.org/

Well, my lady friends who go in their backyards (this is only during the summer and maybe once a month at that), I gather they don't have a problem with alcohol because I've never seen them drunk (but then again, even if you don't see a person, that doesn't mean that that person doesn't drink during the day).

Perfect example is my friend who I only thought drank at night, and now she's begun in the day.

I think the best thing is to drink water!!!!

And when you go to a wedding, just take the champagne and offer a toast and that's it.

But I can definitely see how it can be a problem for a person with an addiction.

Do you know I never knew you could be an alcoholic if you only drank beer??

I thought it had to be hard liquor. Goes to show you how much I know about the subect??

My friend's son only drinks beer. BUT A LOT OF BEER.

And I have a former friend who has a husband of almost 40 years and I've never seen him sober. On any holiday or occasion, he's passed out on the floor with beer cans next to him. Someone remarked to her "do you know your husband has a drinking problem?" and she replied "listen, he works hard during the week, what's the harm if he likes his beer??" Now how to do you reply to a comment like that, especially when the guy is passed out two feet in front of you??

You don't.

I didn't.

I've learned much from this forum. And I thank you.

Melody

you don't have to get drunk to be an alcoholic.

There is a term used to describe an alcoholic who functions with all daily activities. They are called functioning alcoholics. They can drink and function just as someone who doesn't drink. It's still a disease no matter how you term it imho.

A social drinker in my other opinion is one who drinks occasionally and does not abuse it. I hardly ever drink but I do on occasion, but never get wasted. Maybe a beer here and there. I grew up with alcoholics so my fear of becoming one helps me turn away. I also think to drink because everyone else is can become a problem. Saying no is OK. Many times you'll find me sipping a coke while others are drinking.

Just reading some old posts and found this quote....love it.....

I KNOW this isn't an AA meeting but I had my go-around with alcohol. I drank for some 20 years but after year ONE I knew I had a problem. I am in my 16th year of sobriety and I don't miss alcohol in the least.

If someone is trying to talk you into drinking, IGNORE them PLEASE. That's how mine started. I couldn't sleep after I had my daughter. I mean I REALLY couldn't sleep. Doctors wouldn't give me sleep aids so I did the only thing I could do to get some sleep. That is what Launched me into my Drinking Career. It ruined my health, destroyed anything I had with my family, two divorces, which I can't blame on MY drinking since BOTH my husbands were Alcoholics too and they certainly contributed to the messes.

Alcohol is a sedative and a depressant. It is NOT good for you and especially if you have the tendency for addiction, which I do. My Dad was alcoholic and my Mother to a degree but she really didn't drink all that much, only socially but she got Really MEAN. My Dad just crawled off by himself and went to sleep.

To answer your question ML. It's not how MUCH you drink, it's what it does to you when you drink. One drink will set up a "COMPULSION" to have another and another and another and another. That's why they say in AA that "One is too many and a thousand is not enough". That is a True Alcoholic.

Hi Wiix! Congratulations on your 16 years!! That is just wonderful!!!
I love to read on here...it makes me think and rejoice in the fact that I am sober!! I would not trade the sober life in...I love it!! It is a shame that so many years are wasted but I am just so grateful to be able to enjoy my life now!
When you spoke of compulsion it made me go back.
Never could I stop after the first one. Never. I always took it to the limit...if the booze was running low I would get crazy...I learned quickly to plan ahead....I was to the point at the end where I would buy a 26 oz bottle of tequila and a mickey. That way if I finished the 26er I had the mickey to fall back on.
I could not share my booze...again the fear that I would not have enough.
Many times I planned on quitting and really truly meant it and wanted to but 48 hours was all the time I could stay sober without panicking....I did not know my life without alcohol in it and I was too scared to go thru withdrawl. I did not know how to have fun or relax without it. I could not even meet and date people without my liquid courage!! I needed booze to function.
When I did finally get sober...I was drained and could not go on....no one really wanted to be around me any more....I put drink before my family, my friends, getting a job...I put it first...before anything.
I only hope more people could get to the point I got to and become willing to go thru whatever is necessary to get sober.
Drinking reminds me of toothpain....when you pull the teeth...the pain is gone. When you stop drinking and get help...the pain eventually goes away too!!
Just for anyone interested who is reading this....compulsion...yup that as me...had to drink...could not run out. One time when I did run out of my booze I was desperate....someone had a 1/2 beer and put cigarette butts out in it....I picked the butts out and yes I drank it..I needed it! I had to!!
I just can't see someone non alcoholic doing that? Me...I did ...I am an alcoholic and those were things I had to do to feed the compulsion!!
Thank you God, for my sobriety!!!!!!!

A crook goes into a bar. He jumps up on a table and yells:

"This is a Stick Up and I am going to kill everyone of you."

The one Dude, Alcholic, at the end of the bar yells back to him:

"Can you wait until I finish my drink?"