Amid pain, words began flowing

Man with ALS collected thoughts, turned them into book on faith


12:00 AM CDT on Saturday, July 14, 2007
By ELIZABETH LANGTON / The Dallas Morning News
elangton@dallasnews.com

Nine years ago this month, Paul Lanier was a successful doctor. He was a weightlifter, avid hunter and licensed pilot. He had married his high school sweetheart, Dee Ann, and was raising three daughters.



Photos by G.J. MCCARTHY/DMN


Paul Lanier, who is paralyzed, used laser-controlled computer software to write his book, A Change in the Flight Plan. 'Intense suffering draws you closer to God or drives you away,' he said. 'This book is about my relationship with God and things I discovered in the Bible.'He imagined a long life, early retirement and grandchildren. But, Mr. Lanier says, God had other ideas for his personal flight plan.

In July 1998, Mr. Lanier, a Carrollton resident, found out he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Mr. Lanier turned to the Bible for comfort and started writing papers to organize his thoughts about his illness and his faith.

Those papers became his self-published book, A Change in the Flight Plan.

"Intense suffering draws you closer to God or drives you away," he said. "This book is about my relationship with God and things I discovered in the Bible."

Dave Turtletaub, Mr. Lanier's collaborator, said readers gain perspective on their own lives by reading about his friend's experiences. "The things we generally consider to be problems pale in comparison to what Paul has endured and Dee Ann and his family have endured," he said.

Most ALS patients die within five years of diagnosis. The affliction attacks the nerves that control voluntary muscle movement, causing muscles to weaken and shrink. Late-stage sufferers are paralyzed but retain feeling.

Mr. Lanier's mind remains sharp. He lost the ability to walk 5 ½ years ago, and his voice gave out 18 months later. He has a feeding tube. Mrs. Lanier is his primary caregiver.

This disease "is the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night, and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning," Mr. Lanier wrote in his book. "I can't get away from this hideous disease. It haunts me."

But he never surrendered to despair, said Mr. Turtletaub, an area businessman. "Some people get angry. All it's done for Paul is deepen his faith."

Mr. Lanier writes that before his diagnosis he attended church, studied the Bible and enjoyed fellowship with other believers. "All that sounds pretty good, right?" he wrote. "Indeed it was 'pretty good,' but from a spiritual standpoint, I'm far better off having ALS than I would otherwise have been without it.

"I know and love God the Father, Son and Spirit much more deeply as a result of his change in my flight plan."

Mr. Lanier writes and communicates with special computer equipment. Using slight head movements, he points a light beam at a letter grid on the screen. He selects characters by clicking a "mouse" between his knees.

He used this technique to write his 168-page book. His computer can also speak what he writes. The slow process can quickly zap Mr. Lanier of his declining energy.

Yet he still constructs full sentences, using no verbal shortcuts or abbreviations. Mrs. Lanier marvels that he includes please and thank you for simple requests.

The first printing of his book was 2,000 copies. Friends and family helped pay the costs, and the two men gave the books away. When they had requests for more, copies from a second print run were sold at cost.

So far, no publisher has accepted the book, although Mr. Lanier believes others who are suffering could benefit.

He admits feeling pity and depression sometimes. But he continues to seek guidance from God. He rereads his book. He and friends, including Mr. Turtletaub, attend Steve Farrar's men's Bible study at Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco.

Said Mr. Farrar: "Paul Lanier, although weak in body, is one of the strongest men I have ever met. He is a warrior who daily faces overwhelming difficulties that would crush most men."

Mr. Lanier sees his faith and his book as a legacy for daughters Brittney, 19, Megan, 18, and Katie, 14. "My three girls will know I advanced the kingdom of Jesus Christ," he said.
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