[BobbyB]

Program offers help for yuletide blues
Jessica Ravitz The Salt Lake Tribune



Malls are off limits right now. Blaring Christmas music, any onslaught of yule tidings, is just too much for Diane Breckon to bear. She can't even stomach going down to her basement to haul up the old tree and decorations.

It's been barely five months since her husband, David (known as Dave), died from ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease. The outdoorsman, "a man's man . . . may not have seemed the ho-ho-ho sort," she says, "but he was." And Breckon, 59, isn't in a place to feel, or feign, holiday cheer without him.
"I'm just not there yet," she says, as Charlotte, a small black lab who helped watch over Dave, curls up at her feet.

Not feeling the festive or commercial spirit, however, shouldn't mean she must forego Christmas altogether. She wants a dose of the holiday's spiritual aspect, the sense of humanity and charity, without worrying about bringing other people down. When she received an invitation to attend Thursday's Blue Christmas service, she found her place.

Blue Christmas, a first-time offering in the Salt Lake area, is being presented by the Utah Professional Chaplains Association (UPCA). Comparable services have become mainstays in other parts of the country. The Christian service caters to those who've suffered the death of a loved one, but also to those who are otherwise hurting. The loss of a job, a recent diagnosis of illness, the end of
a marriage, mere loneliness - life sometimes jingles in ways we can't control and isn't always jolly this time of year.
The Rev. Linda Brewer, UPCA's president and a hospice chaplain who's spearheading this program, knows this too well. She lost both of her parents during late fall seasons. In fact Brewer, whose mother dropped dead from a heart attack after preparing Thanksgiving dinner one year, sat down for the traditional turkey feast last month for the first time in 11 years.
"Having been through two very bleak Christmases," she recalls, "how I wished I could have been with people who understood."

The service, which she describes as traditional Protestant, will include music by local musician Gary Stoddard, some scripture, readings and Christmas songs - more of the "Silent Night" variety than "Joy to the World." Votive candles will be available for anyone who wants to say a special prayer. Amid the refreshments that'll follow the service will be chaplains, on hand to offer support to anyone in need.

In the Salt Lake City home she shared with Dave, who died at 77, Breckon isn't exactly bah humbug. She laughs as she recalls antics from her husband's funeral service, which Brewer led. It was the kind of gathering where people shared spontaneous stories, even raunchy songs, and the place erupted in applause and standing ovations. She points out photos of Dave in what she's dubbed "the hall of fame." A favorite among them: the one where he's perched in an outhouse, pants down, and a smoke and beer in hand.
But while she can laugh at the memories, she's a realist this holiday season. She's sworn off gift exchanges and has instead gifted donations to fund the snack cart, in her husband's name, at the University of Utah's ALS Clinic. Dave loved that cart, she says, remembering how it - and those little peanut butter cookies - brightened his day during the typical six-hour appointments. Knowing he had some say over it would make him smile, she says.
She couldn't face the decorations downstairs, among them Dave's model trains which used to come out this time of year, but she could fork over $8.99 for something new. Next to Breckon, resting on a little table, is a small, red Christmas tree adorned with silver bells. It's not something she ever pictured in her home, but this year, it makes sense.
"He loved the song, 'Silver Bells,' " she says, while fingering the necklace pendant that holds some of his ashes. And redefining the holiday experience this year, by way of dodging malls, minimizing decorations and carefully selecting services, is what Breckon can handle.
jravitz@sltrib.com

http://www.sltrib.com/faith/ci_7720984