The holy matrimony
By Mandakini Hiremath | Thursday, February 14, 2008
Leave a Comment | Default | Large

Valentine's Day is a very special day, a time for thoughts of romance and love, tender and soft reflections; expressions of warmth, poetry and music; hearts, flowers and candlelight. Yet I am infatuated on this day more by the stories of persons who have survived all the challenges, stood together unshaken and preserved the sanctity of their wedding vows than by fairy tales. Here is a love story of Mrs. Robin Brumett's life, which stands as testament of her devotion, generosity and innovation.

Bert and Robin have been married for 41 years and used to run a television station in Seattle. Bert loved playing tennis and playing with kids. He retired early and started traveling with his wife, Robin, who loved trying new things, and Bert loved doing anything with Robin.

As the golden years arrived, Bert suffered in 2004 a little bit of shortness of breath. The couple sensed that something was terribly wrong. Bert started experiencing muscle weakness and having problems with talking. It wasn't long before they received the devastating diagnosis that Bert was victim of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also called Lou Gehrig's disease, the neurological disorder that robs one from using muscles and usually leads to death in just a few years.

ALS is like a lit candle; it melts your nerves and leaves your body a pile of wax. Often, it begins with the legs and works its way up. You lose control of your thigh muscles, so that you cannot support yourself standing. You lose control of your trunk muscles, so that you cannot sit up straight. By the end, if you are still alive, you are breathing through a tube in a hole in your throat, while your soul, perfectly awake, is imprisoned inside, a limp husk, perhaps able to blink or cluck a tongue, like something from a science fiction movie, the man frozen inside his own flesh. This takes no more than five years from the day you experience symptoms of the disease, writes Mitch Albom in "Tuesdays with Morrie."

Bert is on ventilator that breaths for him. He cannot move a muscle. He blinks to communicate, since he sees, hears and understands everything. Refusing to allow the quality of her husband's life to decline, despite a crippling illness, the heart-wrenched loving wife, Robin, reached on the Internet for help and turned their home, overlooking Puget Sound, outside of Seattle, into a place where strangers are welcomed and there is always someone to listen.

After Bert was diagnosed, Robin, considering her husband's unfulfilled dream of traveling the world, posted an ad on Craigslist.com, making an online plea for people to come to share their experiences with him. Because Bert loved the world so much, she decided to bring the world to him. Hundreds responded to come to talk about any topic -- their lives, their families, almost anything.

One by one they come, most of them strangers. One man came to read from his newly finished novel set during the Civil War. A noted scientist came to talk to Bert about earthquakes and volcanoes. One young woman came to tell him of her experience in the Peace Corps and her travels on all seven continents. David Johns brought his daughter Mia and he even read her a storybook as Bert listened.

The view of Puget Sound from the Brumetts' home is stunning, but some say what's even more bea.jpgul is what is happening inside. "Call it the Church of Bert because there is this thing that happened in there and it was like how you might feel after you leave a good Sunday service or something," said volunteer Nadine Joy. "I felt that there was something larger than all of us that was there."

For those who came, Bert is a reminder of the way life can change. Bert's willingness to listen and Robin's hope and dedication have given them unsurpassed feelings of love and joy and made them a host of lifelong friends. What a great love story, touching the very core of humanity!

Sweet friends may "thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end," wishes Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night's Dream. Mrs. Bert personifies his wish. Love may be the wildest woe, but it is the sweetest joy. Though tainted with earth, it has the scent of heaven in it. Happy Valentine's Day.

Mandakini Hiremath is a Claflin instructor and coordinator of the university's writing center.

http://www.timesanddemocrat.com/arti...n/12953505.txt