'Celebrate Cates' honors family's strength in face of ALS

Written by FRASER, MEG
Thu, Sep 18 08

By MEG FRASER


The Cate family isn’t used to being taken care of –they’re used to doing the caring. For the past three and a half years, they’ve cared for one of their own without hesitation, without complaint and without ever asking for help.

“Sometimes the people who do the most amazing things, the most courageous things, end up going under the radar screen,” says Bob Houghtaling, who is the brother-in-law of Cate family patriarch, Peter Cate. Houghtaling and his girlfriend Elaine Arts are hosting an event for the Cates this Saturday, Sept. 20 from 4 to 8 p.m. in an attempt to lighten the financial burden caused by a medical condition no one saw coming.

“We go back to ’04 when he started noticing some symptoms. He was told that he had anxiety and he was put on anxiety meds and that went on for a few months, but he progressively kept getting worse,” explained Peter’s wife Elaine. In December of 2005, the mystery behind a series of misdiagnoses, starting with anxiety and extending to a stroke, was uncovered.

Peter suffers from Amyotriphic Lateral Sclerosis, or ALS, which is often referred to as Lou Gehrig’s disease. The neurodegenerative disease is a progressive condition that robs the patient of motor functions and muscle movement.

“There are no words to describe this disease; it’s horrific,” Elaine said.

As is true with most ALS cases, Peter’s cognitive function has been spared. According to the Cates, though, so has his sense of humor.

“He was always the clown of his family growing up and he still very much has that now,” said Peter’s son Matthew Cate. “Even though it’s inhibited him from getting around it hasn’t really changed who he is fundamentally as a person.”

Matt and his mother, his brothers Chris and Nick and younger sister Sarah, are touched by the support they’ve received from friends and family. A very private family, they have not been involved in the fundraiser’s organization but said it is a testament to the kindness of the people who know Peter.

“We appreciate it so very much. I’m at a loss for words,” Elaine said, thanking Bob and Elaine and the others who have stepped to the plate since Peter’s diagnosis. Communicants of St. Mary’s Church, the Cates have seen an outpouring of support from their parish as well.

The family has participated in ALS fundraising events in the past, always with the idea of helping other patients and families, which is exactly why Houghtaling and Arts wanted to turn the tables.

“We decided to do something to support him a little bit and defray some of the costs associated with his illness and we wanted to do a celebration as well,” Houghtaling said. The event is called “Celebrate the Cates,” and while tickets cost $50, Arts urges those willing to make a donation of any size to do so. So far the pair have sold about 55 tickets for the celebration, which will feature food, music and a raffle.

“We’re just trying to get everybody together to help out and we’ve had a lot of people send in donations,” Arts said.

She has known the Cate family for more than five years now, and said their strength is unbelievable.

“I think the kids are pretty amazing,” she said. “I think they’re very strong and they’re very loving and they’re very devoted to their dad.”

Elaine Cate said that’s just what families do.

“You just do what you have to do. We just decided that it wasn’t about us, it was about Pete, and we were going to take care of him no matter what,” she said.

Houghtaling recalls the struggle Peter has faced over the past few years with his health slowly deteriorating. A former accountant, Peter had to retire shortly after his diagnosis and his lack of mobility has posed a challenge for the entire family.

“It’s a lot of involved work doing all the small things with him that most people take for granted,” Matt said.

Despite the difficulties, Matt says the diagnosis has brought their family closer together, and he cherishes the time he spends with his dad. While he is now confined to a wheelchair and has limited speech ability, Peter enjoys watching TV – especially the news – and communicating as best he can with his family, often using his eyes and blinking patterns to get his point across. Matt said his father also likes looking at old family photographs and the waterfront view at his parent’s house when he is able to get out.

As a recent graduate of Brown University, Matt was able to better understand ALS during his pursuit of a degree in neuroscience. Paired with his firsthand experiences with his dad, he now knows how indiscriminate ALS can be.

“I think one of the most important messages is that it can happen to anybody and scientists don’t know the fundamental cause of it,” he said. “The more awareness and money we can raise in favor of fighting the disease the better off everyone will be in the long run.”

Raising awareness and funding is the motivation behind the Cate family’s involvement in other ALS programming. Raising money to defer their own costs was the last thing on their mind, but for their friends and family, it was time something nice was done for them.

“Pete’s a great guy. If any of us were afflicted, he was always at the forefront if other family and friends needed his help so it’s the least you can do,” Houghtaling said. “They’re really the heroes, dealing with this.”

Elaine Cate shrugs off their struggle. For her family, it’s a way of life and no more than what anyone else would do when faced with ALS. Their friends beg to differ, but one thing they can agree on is that the strength Peter has shown over the past three years has been inspiring.

“I don’t know too many other people who could go through this and still smile,” Elaine said. “He can still light up a room with his smile.”


If you are interested in making a donation to the Celebrate the Cates event, contact Bob Houghtaling or Elaine Arts at 826-0378, or send a donation to 98 Pitman Road, Warwick, RI, 02886. Checks can be made payable to “Harts of Gold.”



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