Beyond Disability

Monday September 22 2008



Introduction to disability etiquette


Many of us know a person with a disability, but may be unsure how to behave around him/her. But there is no need to feel uncomfortable around persons with disabilities. They are not “those people.” They are just people, with the same feelings, interests and desires as anyone else.


Well-intentioned individuals sometimes assume that individuals with disabilities must be treated as “special” – giving unsolicited assistance, for example, or speaking slowly, loudly, and with simple words. They believe in their heart of hearts that they are doing the right thing, but they may unknowingly be acting in ways that are offensive.








The truth is, most people with disabilities would prefer not to be treated as “special.” They wish to be regarded with the same dignity and respect accorded to everyone.


We have compiled a list of six handy tips to help you interact more comfortably and respectfully with your friends and neighbours with disabilities:


Speak directly to the person with a disability


If you meet a person with a disability who is accompanied by an aide, interpreter or friend, be sure to speak directly to the person with the disability. People with disabilities can speak for themselves. Show your respect by addressing questions to them directly (“what would you like to drink?”) instead of asking another person to speak for them (“what would he like to drink” or “ask him what he’d like to drink”).


Respect personal space


Leaning or hanging on a person’s wheelchair is similar to leaning or hanging onto a person, and is generally considered annoying and rude. The wheelchair is part of the personal body space of the person who uses it. Don’t push or touch a person’s wheelchair without permission, or set things down on a desktop that may be attached to the wheelchair.


Ask before you help


Just because a person has a disability, don’t assume that he or she wants or needs your help. Many individuals with disabilities have developed strategies for doing things independently, and by imposing your assistance you are saying that you think you know what is best for that person.


This is disrespectful and presumptuous, and you might be doing more harm than good. If you try to push a person in a wheelchair over a curb without waiting for instructions, you may dump them out of their chair! Offer assistance if you wish, but do not insist. If the person accepts your offer of help, be sure to ask how the person would like to be helped.


Be honest and patient


Listen attentively when you are talking with a person who has difficulty speaking. Give the person your full attention. Be patient and wait for the person to finish – never attempt to complete his or her sentences. If you are having trouble understanding, be honest and say so. Don’t nod your head and pretend you understand if you don’t. Just ask the person to repeat or rephrase.


Treat adults as adults


Adults with disabilities are not children, so don’t talk down to them. Assume that individuals with disabilities are competent to make their own decisions.


Be yourself!


The most important thing to remember is to relax and be yourself. You don’t have to feel awkward when meeting a person with a disability. Just be natural and if you are ever unsure about what to do or say with a person who has a disability, just ask him/her!




Mindy Nissenberg is a Peace Corps volunteer working with Disabled People’s International – North America and the Caribbean (DPI NAC), a non-profit organisation that advocates for the rights of individuals with disabilities throughout the region. Mindy welcomes your comments, questions and feedback. E-mail her at dpinac@yahoo.com.


DPI NAC will also be hosting its first annual Disability Awareness Fair at Heroes Square, adjacent to the Public Market, on Saturday, 4 Oct., 2008. Mark your calendars!