published: Friday, December 26, 2008

Sometimes, just being there enough for hospice volunteers


By CHRISTOPHER TUFFLEY Elaine White (left), a Hospice volunteer, visits Patricia Treet every Wednesday at the Royal Care Nursing Home. Treet is coping with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, commonly known as Lou Gherig's disease.

christopher.tuffley@newssun.com


AVON PARK -- Elaine White volunteers for Good Shepherd Hospice.

She says that if she had been told 10 years ago that she would not only be spending time with people who were dying, but that those moments would be some of her most treasured, she wouldn't have believed either point.

Yet they came true.

White has lived an active, successful life, first as a teacher, then as part of the professional staff of the Girl Scouts of America, and finally in various executive capacities for an insurance company.

After growing up in rural Pennsylvania, she spent over a decade living in New York City and then moved to Boca Raton. She worked hard enough so that she retired early, enjoying Florida's Gold Coast.

White had family in Sebring but no intention of living here until the hurricane season of 2004 when storm damage drove her inland. At the same time her elderly grandfather, who suffered with chronic pulmonary obstruction disease, took a turn for the worse.

She wound up moving to Sebring, although she wasn't thrilled leaving Boca Raton at the time. She went kicking and screaming, she says.

However, she added -- with a rueful smile sounding in her voice -- the Lord had His own ideas, and she was being directed.

As her grandfather's condition worsened, the family called in hospice.

It was at this time White's eyes were opened, so to speak.

She was both amazed and inspired by the quality of care her grandfather received and how he benefited from the attention.

"It's the big fallacy," she said. "I thought hospice was only for old people and people with cancer. I thought it was all doom and gloom, but it's not. There is fun, sometimes even joy."

White was wary of volunteering at first, however.

"I sure never thought I could do it, work with the dying," she said. "But (hospice) gives you 20 hours of intensive training over four days."

In addition, she added, no one is thrown out on their own, the beginners team up with experienced volunteers until they are comfortable enough to go solo.

The key, says White, is to tune into the patient.

"They teach you what you can do and what you can't," White said. "They teach you to have respect for different religions. But, most important, they teach you that it's not about you. That you have to take yourself out of it. You need to meet the patient where they are."

Hospice volunteers do all kinds of essential things, including picking up prescriptions, giving a manicure, working in the office, giving a caretaker time to go to a movie or simply holding a person's hand while they drift in and out of sleep.

For example, every Wednesday, White drives out to the Royal Care of Avon Park Rehabilitation and Nursing Center in Avon Park to visit Patricia Treet.

Treet is a beautiful woman, 45 years old. She was born and raised in Lake Placid, one of 14 children.

Already a widow, she has a 10-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, and a grown son, Clayton, who just made her a grandma.

Treet has been a patient at Royal Care for two and a half years dealing with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis -- otherwise known as ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease.

ALS is a difficult, painful illness. It steadily robs people the use of their muscles, which means the body slowly stiffens, becoming immobile. The mind, though, remains active.

Treet can no longer move her legs, feet, arms or hands, or speak. But she exudes a beatific radiance, and has such piercing blue eyes one can't miss her presence.

White says Treet is a favorite among the staff at Royal Care -- the nursing assistants often stopping by to dance for her or joke with her.

Her room reflects a family that loves her -- stuffed animals, cards and pictures are posted and tucked away everywhere.

One card, with a photograph of a dog with very drooping skin, says, "If I missed you more, my face would break."

Treet's face reflects the joy she takes in the light-hearted silliness, White says, even if she can't make any sounds.

"It's her ability to really enjoy what's going on in the moment," White said. "She giggles from the inside out."

On a recent Wednesday, Treet was all dressed up in powder blue, looking especially lovely for her visitors.

She wore becoming eye makeup and lipstick, her hair pulled back and in a fancy bow, and was wearing a lovely necklace with matching earrings. It was clear she had looked forward to the visit.

Both White and Treet share a love of their Lord. They spend their time together in Bible study, typically following programs with directed questions and video back-up.

Right now they are working with Beth Moore's series: "The Approaching and Approachable God, The Patriarchs."

Despite distractions, after White goes over study questions and points to ponder, Treet focuses as the scripture is discussed by Moore on a DVD presentation. Treet can still smile and does as Moore weaves humor around a sincere lesson.

Sunlight streams in a window as White leans towards Treet and the women exchange a shared moment of power in prayerful thought.

"To me," White said after the visit when asked why she would recommend volunteering, "it's just the satisfaction that you've helped someone have a better day, or you've done something to help someone in some small way."

She paused a moment then said, "Actually, the patients I have give me more than I give them."

Good Shepherd Hospice volunteer coordinator, Jan Sturgeon may be reached at (863)314-8037.

http://www.newssun.com:80/1217-ct-Hospice-volunteer