Hi diandra

Belated Happy Birthday

Re your Mother - I personally didn't have to go through that with either of my parents but I spent a lot of time with the mother of a close friend who had dementia. She was eventually cared for in a rest home but as her daughters were both working full-time during the week I used to visit. She had known me for over 30 years and at first she remembered who I was and my name - this gradually faded but I found that trying to make her laugh was one of the best things - even if it meant singing old songs together or getting her to tell me stories about her earlier life.

Another thing was I used to take her a small gift each time I visited - strawberries from the garden, posy of flowers, a particular type of ice-cream cone that had been around for years, etc. Right to the end even if she didn't remember who I was I could still arrive and she would say "oh Freesias - I love freesias" or "TipTop trumpet my favorite ice-cream" - she still associated particular things with good memories.

All the best with your journey.

Just wanted to say how sweet it was of you to visit your friends mother and loved the suggestion of little gifts. Just awesome of you !

Debi from Georgia

Diandra,

Please let me start by saying what a gracious thing you have done to care for your mother while you yourself are suffering from illness. I hope you can take time for yourself amongst all the needs of your mother.

My mother-in-law was about my current age when I met her. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 6 or 7 years ago and did finally pass away in 2014. She was a bright and caring person who always thought of others before herself. It was tough watching her decline.

I had worked in the medical field with several patients with dementia, but it never was as hard to live it with a loved one. So much changed toward the end, as her walking, talking, and daily living skills were lost. How I missed the days of chatting with her about anything over a cup of tea.

Toward the end, she failed to recognize us, but on some days her smile would stretch across her face and she would reach for you in a moment of clarity. I hang onto the memories of those moments when I remember her.

So difficult to go through, but she has someone she loves close by her and taking care of her in you and your husband. I did not live with my mother-in-law, but I had her and my father-in-law over on the weekends to give him some needed personal time. I took some comfort in knowing I tried to be there for my mother-in-law and did what I could to show her how much I loved her even if she may not have able to fully appreciate it.

Hope I helped you with your questions. Take care, M-i-m