Thank you for your responses, I just sent a note to the case worker on my mom, asking them to test the B12 level, its totally worth a shot...I want my mom back the way she was 3 weeks ago, and have so much guilt for having her have her 2nd hip done...ugh

Dear Carrie

I do hope you are able to help her. Have you taken a read through some of the other threads here to see if there are any clues to other things that may be helpful

thinking of you and your mom

Cheri

My grandmother is in the a similar situation right now. She was fine with her memory before this past January - when she underwent extensive surgery for bladder cancer. Since then she hasn't been the same, and it really worries my mom and myself. I will have to ask my mom to mention this to her doctor. I understand where you are coming from Carrie. I hope everything turns out okay for your mom!

My brother and I have taken control of this situation. The social worker is recommending a PEG tube temporarily, and placing her in a chronic care facility AGAIN..just to mess her brain up more I think..sometimes these people just think they have a little too much power. They apparently did a "geriatric assessment" on my mom...how long did that take?? 15 minutes maybe...we've known her for 50 years!! Their assessment is.."insert PEG tube, give tylenol for pain, move to a window so she can distinguish night and day, get up 3x a day..etc..etc"..and probably restrain her since she doesn't understand and pulls the tubes out...nice life...ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

We've talked to her home where she lives, they are fully capable to have her back in her condition right now, she has recovered enough from the surgeries, both hip and intestinal, we are getting her a hospital bed in her room, in a place were all her pictures are on the wall, all her stuff is there, her friends are there...THEY WANT HER THERE! and are going to spoon feed her until she can feed herself, and get her up and move and get her strength back, we will hire a PT person to come every day to work with her, we need to give her this chance for a couple of months to see if it works, and fortunately we have the funds right now that we can do this. I want my mother back..and by them "recommending" shoving her onto another unfamiliar "facility" where the people who work there have such heavy accents so she can't even understand them is not the answer at this point. She will be discharged monday at the latest..and we will see how she does in a place that she is happy, and comfortable, and have people who really care take care of her, she needs some emotional stability right now to heal her brain before we can work on the physical...it drives me crazy that they just want to keep shoving her around all these facilities..and think the answer to her delerium is to throw more crap at her, and do more surgery to insert a PEG tube.

I will keep you posted here on how she does, she has a GP at the home, that will modify her medications/vitamins and diet per her needs, and it is full nurse staffed...my hopes is that once she is in a place that is familiar to her she likes..she will do better...we have to try..what they are doing is not working. She went in there fine..and is now a basket case...I fully believe this has part to do with their negligence when she first started vomiting green..and nothing was done until it was so bad, she was in a state of delerium she hasn't really come out of.

thanks again for your prayers...will keep you posted.


carrie

Well today was the day she was being moved back "home", but apparently the ortho dr. has decided to move her to his floor to give her some intensive physical therapy before discharge, since she basically has had none for the hip replacement that she had a week before the emergency surgery. Her nursing home is amazing, they are waiting and ready for her. They have removed ALL the misc. tubes now, and she is eating on her own, altho I'm not sure how much. I will be talking to the ortho today, to find out his plans.

Carrie

I feel your pain. I'm in my 60's and have recently lost(since 2000) both my mother and my husband's father to dementia and the complications thereof. My father in law died of aspiration pneumonia, as did my mother, although her death certificate said just dementia. The story of my mother was a much more gradual progression than yours. She was also in an assisted living facility for 4 yrs. She technically shouldn't have been there because she was already incontinent when she went, but they were just starting, glad to take anybody. We eventually had her transferred to a nursing home because they couldn't keep her anymore. She died after less than two months in the new place.

The changes I saw in her over the years were very interesting, I lived 1600 miles away, so saw her about 3 times yearly and talked to her on the phone frequently. She went from being able to talk fairly normally to not making much sense at all, to crying when she heard my voice, to just saying "oh hi dear". When I could no longer understand many words we communicated by the tone of her voice. I could tell if she was telling me a funny story, etc. I could walk in her room after not seeing her for 4 months, and she didn't know the difference. I could call her upon returning home from a visit, she had no idea I'd even been there. It was horrible for all of us, but she of course, as she always had, handled it with class

My father in law was the one who kind of went downhill fast after a hospitalization. He had an inguinal hernia repair. I think he had a stroke during this hospitalization and although he lived about 10 more years he was never the same.

I know that alot of people who go into hospitals for one thing come out with a whole different set of problems. Most of this is just what happens to the body when we get into that 80 year old decade, and don't pop back like we used to. Also change, as you've seen, is hard for the elderly, and they are more prone to have problems that escalate into serious problems quickly. There probably isn't any "right or wrong" decision to make. Just go with the flow, help where you can, put your foot down when you need to.

I don't think my mother had much of an idea who I was when she died and I know my father in law didn't, but I know they both knew I was somebody they liked. That was about all I could hope for. Hugs, phoebe

more to our saga...got a call last night from an intern, they took an x-ray of my moms hip that they had replaced a week before the intestinat disaster.. a month ago, and it is dislocated! How much more can she stand...so today they were going to take her to an operating room, give sedation and manipulate to hopefully get it back into place. My big concern is obviously another step back with the dementia and anesthesia, they assured it me it would be very brief, no intubation and hopefully it will pop back in, if not, surgery next week for a revision. I have had a phone set up in her room, and call her 4-5 times a day..and she seems to be coming around... but this of course will be another setback.

My question is...how did this happen, my mother hasn't moved on her own in 4 weeks!!! They have put her in some kind of "lift" to get her out of the bed into a chair...and I bet any money..thats when it happened....it just drives me nuts..that she keeps coming up with new crap she has to deal with that is no fault of her own...I fly there in less than 2 weeks from here in Colorado...and I have told the Dr. I want her back at her "home" by the time I get there...I don't care if she is walking or not....we will get her walking..this is ridiculous..the longer she is in the hospital..the more bad stuff and pain she is being put through, and the harder it will be with the dementia, she needs some normalcy in her life!

as of 6:30 eastern time..they have not taken her to the OR yet...I doubt it will happen today..the system in Canada..is just crazy...so she sits there waiting with a dislocated hip...and I sit here in Colorado worried sick. I call her every 4 hours...and she actually has moments that I can hear "my mom"...I told her what is happening..and to hang in there..and she says "I'm not going to worry about ..it will happen when it happens"...and then thanks me for all I do for her : ( ....and I feel so helpless...ARRGH..

Will update

Thanks for reading...it just helps to get it out!

c

Carrie, I'm so sorry I didn't reply and say how glad I was for that.

I didn't see your reply.

(((((((((Carrie))))))))))