I have been looking for a forum for information on dementia which I am new to. My mother, who is 86, was doing pretty good, living in an assisted living facility in Canada by my brother. Her hips had degeneraged to the point of her being confined to a wheel chair. I knew she had a mild form of dementia, but was still pretty good, played bridge, particpated in activites with the groups at the home, had her routine hair appt, and was generally happy and very very health, except she couldn't walk anymore. We had her looked at by an orthopeadic surgeon who was shocked that her hips were so bad and decided, because of her great health (no BP, diabetes..nothing) that hip replacements would really improve her quality of life and get rid of the constant increasing pain she was in. Her first hip was done the beginning of may, under a spinal, no general anesthesia, and she did wonderful, was walking with a walker, and progressing great. You could hear the bone grinding in her other hip and decided (with her) to do the other one. The surgery was performed 3 weeks ago, and was successful. Two days after the surgery, she started vomiting green and couldn't stop..this went on for a couple of days, she became severely dehydrated, and delerious, would pull out the IV tube etc. 6 days after her hip surgery, I was told I needed to fly to Ottawa from Colorado, she was not expected to make it through the night, she did, but barely in ICU. On my 2 hour layover in chicago I got a call from a dr. saying I needed to authorize emergency abdominal surgery because a CT scan had revealed a portion of her small intestine had died. They would open her up, determine if they could successfully perform the surgery, do it, or if not, close her up and keep her comfortable. They did the surgery, it was a "success" she was on a ventilator in ICU for 3 days..then down on the gastro floor (no colostomy).

After all this trauma (2 major surgeries, one with general anesthesia, and severe deyhdration prior) my mother's mild dementia is so bad now. This isn't even my mother anymore. She is confined to a bed, goes to the bathroom in a diaper, spits her food out at the nurses, is on a feeding tube, refusing to eat or take medicine. She knows who we are but there is no conversation, just yes or no answers, and doesn't not understand she needs to eat to live. I just don't understand what is happening. She is still in the hospital. She has recovered from the gastric surgery and hip, but has NO motivation to move or eat or anything, and is mean. Our hope now is that we are going to try and get her back to the assisted living place she lived in (they are willing to take her and take care of her at a higher level) in hopes that if she is happier and things are more familiar that she will slowly come back to us...I have my doubts...then we are looking at a Long term Care Facility that is better able to handle her not being able to do ANYTHING.

It will be 3 weeks tomorrow, I am flying back in 3 weeks..and I hope to see my mom again..

Has anyone had experience with this, severe dementia after surgery and trauma..and coming back from it. We are willing to pay whatever it takes at this point to give her a chance to come back, everyday physical therapist, hand feeding, etc...we can't pay for the private care for ever though..and we will have to transfer her to LTC in Canada that is funded by the government if there is no improvement. We love were her home is now, and our hope is that she will respond to that.

Please let me know if anyone has similar experience with the dementia, I just can't believe my mother went form being my mom..to this person in a 3 week period...I know it has taken a toll on her.....

Thanks

c