Originally Posted by amberlaverne

Oh, my poor grandma. She has always been like a mother to me.
She had her annie clamped, wow 8 years ago. She had a mini-stroke sometime after that - maybe a year or so later? I was in high school at the time, but lived alone with her due to seperate family issues with my mother. So, I was in essence her care taker after her surgery (too young and poorly equipped at the time, but I did my best). That situation really brought us close even though it was probably not the best situation for either of us at the time.

Anyway, without getting into all the gory details...

She now lives in an assisted living facility where she is the youngest one there. I live two hours north, but there is family nearby to visit her often. There are some ongoing issues that I dont know how to deal with


Personality changes:
She used to be typical grandma. Sweet, loving, hardworking woman. Would do anything for anyone. Now she says the weirdest stuff. She goes to bed early and wakes up late, if she could get away with living in the same clothes and not taking a shower, she would.

She has been getting in trouble at the facility where she lives for her behavior. She seems to have taken an (unprovoked) extreme disliking to one other resident in particular, and is getting in verbal altercations with this lady. So unlike her.

I did not expect it to be so hard all these years later. She also has been having difficulty controlling her bowels lately - is this brain related?

I am devasted. I live with extreme guilt that she is even in this situation. I feel like she should be with me, but I am unsure if I am capable or if it is in her best interest. I am 26 years old with a new baby..

I feel like she needs to be re-evaluated but dont know how to go about that. There is lots of family around but I feel angry that no one is doing enough for her yet angry at myself for the same reason.

How can I be the best support and advocate for her in this situation?