In November of last year, I suffered a ruptured aneurysm in my brain that required surgery. I spent a month in the neurosurgical ICU and another month at an inpatient rehabilitation hospital learning how to walk, talk and regain my fine motor function again. Prior to the hemorrhage, I worked as an Emergency Medical Technician. I knew something was seriously wrong once the symptoms began. I was lucky in the sense that I did not hesitate to have someone take me immediately to the ED from where I was airlifted to a Level I center. There are days that I feel so utterly blessed to be alive and recovering, and other days where I feel so depressed and sad that I don't even want to get out of bed. When those days come, I feel guilty for feeling that way. I am so used to being called to help other people when they are in need, I have a hard time asking anyone to help me. Because of that, I feel lonely and isolated alot.

My therapists have said that my recovery so far has been tremendous. The left sided nerve pain may or may not go away, but it has diminished tremendously since the bleed. I still have trouble finding my words sometimes if I am tired or stressed. I also have some coordination problems that still linger. I hate when my brain tells my left hand to do something and she doesn't want to listen!

My close friend, 'sister' and kindred spirit Eva, referred me to this site, and I am hoping to meet and communicate with others that understand what I have been through. Inside I'm still the same me.