Hello!! I cant believe it has been almost a year since my mom had her aneurysms (March 22nd is a year). Those scary feelings/moments feel like yesterday. Overall my mom was doing fantastic by Nov 2012. She was basically back to her self, about a 90% recovery, it was amazing!! Because she was doing soo well, she decided to meet with a doc at our local clinic (she had surgery done over an hour away). From what we can gather, the doc she seen at our local clinic knew nothing about my moms situation and let her ween off most of them. She did okay for a few weeks, and then by mid Dec she started having scary episodes. She thought my dad was trying to kill her We all knew it wasnt reality, but to her it was reality, and it broke my heart. Finally after seeing 2 doctors, they referred her to a specialty hospital and she was placed in the physciatric wing. My brother and I brought her down there and it was really tough, but we knew we had to do it for her. She was there for a few days, and then they sent her home. She is on some of the same meds as when she came home last April, but I believe different doses. She has regressed back to about the spot she was at shortly after coming home originally. She can remember more, although is very easily confused again. She is much more depressed then she was before, too. She is sad almost all the time. On a simple phone conversation she will go from okay, to crying, to okay, and again crying (almost like a light switch). I dont know if more damage has been done at some point, or if the meds she is on now arent working as well as before?!? She is suppose to be going in this month for her yearly angiogram, but I dont know if my dad got it set up yet or not. He isn't exactly reliable about it all, and it drives my sister and I crazy!! We tried scheduling the appt, but they wont let us since my dad carries their insurance.

One of my biggest struggles (personally) is dealing with my emotions with it all. My mom and I were very close before this all happened, and we are still, but it is different. Part of me feels like I "lost" my mom that day, and now I have a new mom to learn to love. I love her very very much, but get sad at times when I think about the fact that my kids may never know how she was before this. She was the most loving, open-hearted, kind, warm person. Now she is much more stand-offish and my kids notice it. They still adore her, and accept her however she is, but they know things are different now. When they would see her before she would want hugs and kisses, ask how everything is going, etc. Now we dont see her as often (she doesnt like to leaqve her house often), and when we do she will still give a hug and kiss, but it isnt the same big embrace we were used to. Because she has regressed this much, does she have a chance at getting to that point again? I love her with all my heart, and am thankful to have her, in any form, but I really want to see her happy again, and enjoying life. She means everything to me, I just hate seeing her soo sad

Hi Theresa

((((((((((((Big hugs for you...and for your mum)))))))))))))))


I am so very sorry about the way things are turning out for you all - I guess the bottom line, as you have said, is that you still have her with you - you just need to get to know and love the 'new' her.

I am sure that this will happen - it will just take time, time to grieve and adjust - for everyone (including her). From what you are saying, I strongly suspect she is aware of the changes/differences she has experienced, and is probably very conscious of it. Have you talked to her about this? Has she had any grief counselling - for that matter, have you?

I know that when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (three years before my aneurysm surgery - which is both life-long and degenerative) I was devastated with grief, doubt and foreboding - like I was a broken toy left on the shelf, and no good for anything anymore. I was torn up with grief, self-doubt and self-loathing.

This is just something to consider - I can't imagine how hard this is for all of you, and I certainly don't say that 'I know how you (or your mum) feel.

Please just know that my thoughts and care are with you all.

Lyn
xox