Hi everyone. I'm new and my name is Candice. I'm 52 years old. I had surgery to repair an unruptured aneurism on September 11th, after they found it in an MRI while trying to determine the cause of vertigo. It turned out my vertigo was caused by permanent damage to my inner ear from an ear infection. I feel blessed that the aneurism was found, and could be repaired. It went well, and my physical healing seems to be going well, too. I have a wonderful circle of support from friends and family, and co-workers. I've been off work and won't return until the end of November.

I want to know if anyone else has experienced depression and anxiety after coming through surgery? I can't make sense of this. For a few weeks right after surgery, I was elated and happy, and was laughing alot, just happy to be alive.

NOW, for the past few weeks (maybe 3), I am in such a depressed state, my sleep is all over the map, insomnia, and generally just feeling hopeless, useless and yet, I know intellectually that these things aren't true. My family doctor wants to put me on Ceprilex, for my depression, but I am unsure of taking them, as there are numerous side effects. I am feeling sad, and cry at the drop of a hat, for no reason. I find myself spending a lot of time alone.

I started seeing a counsellor this week, because I can not deal with feeling so low, all the time!

What I want to know is, do others experience this after brain surgery and is this normal? I want it to pass. I try doing one or two productive things/day, however my energy level and motivation is low. I manage to get to the gym about 4-5 times per week. This makes me feel marginally better, but the effects don't last.

Anyone out there who has had these post-surgery symptoms?

Thanks,
Candice (Ashika)

Hi Candice yes I too battled with depression panic attacks and anxiety however I have come through the other side and am ok now. Jess.xxx

Hi Candice,
I am not surprised at your reaction. I had an MRI due to sudden facial drooping almost two yrs ago and they found my aneursyms. To actually realize your own mortality is a hard thing to cope with. I'd find someone to talk to... possibly a friend that has had serious health problems or a therapist. It is really helpful to vent. People near you often feel that you have "been fixed", look fine, and need to move on. It takes time. Sarah

Hi Candice
I am just wondering how you are feeling now. I only read your post today, and it moved me. Depression after annie surgery is very common. Not only have you faced the prospect of dying, you have had major surgery and someone has been mucking around with your brain - the thing that makes you, YOU.

So, there are quite a few factors that are affecting you. There is a physiological reaction to your brain chemistry after the surgery. There is a psychological reaction to facing your own mortality. Then there are self-esteem issues that arise from feeling that you look like cr*p, (after my clipping surgery I looked like a creature from the black lagoon), and the issues that relate to temporarily diminished mental capacity, memory, emotional lability etc.

There is no shame in this - many of us have depression after (usually around three months or so). Talk to your doctor and see if there is a medication/treatment that will work for you.

My thoughts are with you, know that there is support out there.

Hugs

Lyn

Hi Candice,
I am very sad to hear that you are suffering depression after surgery. I also suffered badly from depression after my aneurysm was clipped and I later learned that the epilepsy medication I was prescribed was the reason my mood changed so radically day-to-day. I would recommend that you seek advise from your Doctor. Tests can be done to establish if any medication you may have been adivsed to take, is the correct dosage; or perhaps another drug may be prescribed in its place. Be articulate with how you feel, if your Doctor seems un-moved by your situation - seek out another Doctor.
It took me 3 days from when I stopped taking Dilantin (almost 1 year after surgery) to feel like "the old me". I was very surprised, it seemed almost impossible that these little tablets were in fact hampering my recovery and not enhancing it!!!!! It took me about 3 to 4 years to feel that my life had gotten back to normal (my surgery lasted over 7 hours) and I can say that my life is pretty good, so 'hang in there'!!
I have read on other web sites; aneurysm survivers' journals and one common recurring comment was that all of us sufferd depression and we all took epilepsy medication. It seems that there is a possible link between these two situations.
I wish you the very best Candice
Tess - Australia (age 42)

Hi Candice,
I also had depression,still deal with it off and on. Lynn said it all,we all go through this. It's been almost five years and I still look for the old me...can't find her but learning to live with who I am now. Hope you start feeling better soon.

ooxx
Mimi

Hi Candace,
What you are going through with depression is very common, whether you had coiling, clipping or rupture, the depression afterward is common. My thoughts on it are I always felt I was this really healthy person that would never get a life threatening illness, but it happened and in a moment my life changed considerably and will never be quite the same. The big thing i feel I lost was that secure safe feeling that nothing bad will ever happen, because it can and it did. This is something that I have learned to live with, and do battle with down feelings still after 4 years, but it is much better with time. You will be fine, just give yourself time and try to focus on the good things in your life.
Ruthie

fI got my group hug fr reading all of your reponds. I am a year and few months past my clipping surgery...and this has been a bad day....Then I will have my good days...and trying to find the old me, don't know if I will.............thanks to all of you,
Blessings, Sage

Hello Sage

This was an old thread - but so true. I had my aneurysm clipped in 2004, and I know that there were lots of dark days (and nights when I couldn't sleep).

There are lots of reasons why depression is so common after brain surgery. Not least because you have been through a life threatening surgery, but because I think you lose a lot of your identity when you have to depend on others and find yourself different from the 'you' that you have always known.

There are the cognitive effects - poor sleeping, poor memory, trouble sleeping, difficulty finding words (although YOU know what you want to say), physical effects - like having a massive scar, hair loss, weight gain (particularly if you have been on steroids), weakness and generally feeling like cr@p. Added to that, you are trying to cope with people who have no idea what you are experiencing that expect that it is something like recovery after getting your tonsils removed.

Of course, we can't discount the fact that your brain has had a massive insult and some doctor (even if they are great - like mine was) has been messing around with the very thing that makes you YOU.

The whole thing is a recipe for depression, and if you are experiencing that, I hope you have seen a good doctor, and have someone around that you can REALLY talk to.

Keep in touch and remember that if you come to this forum, you will get support from others who have been through, or are coping with this journey now.

Regards

Lyn

I had my surgery in July of 2005, and I still have alot of anger, anxiety and deppression stemming for the whole experience. I go thru my phases were I will be fine for a while then drop into a funk thinking about everything and then being paranoid about my future health. So its most definetely normal to have these types of feelings. And I know first hand that its difficult to discuss these feelings with people who haven't experienced this type of traumatic event. I've even had a few people have the nerve to say that I use my experience as a "crutch" and that all those feelings are "just in my head". I was like "WOW, really? Lets see how you would feel after having an aneurysm at 27 years old". I've tried "medicine" and to tell you the truth I find talking to others like me to be the most theraputic. But you gotta figure out what works best for you.

There are going to be those times where you feel depressed and confused, but always remember we are all here for one another. In some way we are a type of family here, brought together by our common experience. So if you should ever need us, we are here.