My mom has had anxiety problems for the past 30 or so years. She hasn't seen a doctor since she gave birth to me 19 years ago, and she refuses to. For the past 3 years I've heard nothing but "I would be so much happier if I wasn't alive". She wishes she was dead and it frustrates me to hear that because I know that there is a treatment out there for her. She says her main reasons for not going to the doctor is because she doesn't think there is any medication strong enough for her problem, she is afraid she will have a panic attack, and because the last time she went to an anxiety specialist, he laughed at her (so she says).

Overall she has a pretty good life though...her kids (my brother and I) are 4.0 students who aren't involved in drugs or alcohol and are the type of kids who never skip class. Her husband, my dad, is a good man. His job is pretty rocky at the moment, but he is and has always been there for her. The downside to him is that he smokes weed and spends hundreds of dollars a month on it. She lives in a good neighborhood though with nice neighbors and everything. She did just lose her job in August though and she knows that she needs to find a job soon because my dad's paycheck and the savings can only last for so long and they are trying to think about retirement money.

Getting a job means having to sign paperwork, which she can't do in front of anyone besides my dad and I. It also means interviews...she says "my head will be literally shaking though and they won't understand my problem".

No matter how much I urge her to at least try visiting the doctor to see what he/she can do for her, she won't. Her answer is always the same: "there's no medication strong enough for me". She is one of those people who read all of the stories online, positive and negative. I feel like I'm argueing with an automated person because her answers are always the same and I feel that nothing I say does any good.

I just want the best for my mom. She has always been there for me and I want to do the same for her. One of the things I say to her is "you can at least try going to the doctor and have the peace in your mind that you tried, or you can mope around the house for the rest of your life and feel sorry for yourself...be proactive mom...at least try...".

Is there any suggestions you have for me? I don't want to see her living like this for the rest of her life.

~kacey

She sounds discouraged. Many people in life will not treat a person with anxiety,and depression very well. I'm sorry that she has these problems to that extent.

There are alot of people on here who would want to comfort her,and your family,and try to cheer her up.

Two forums down,The Bi-polar forum is a very active forum. Many people monitor it all day long.

I hope that you are doing well. BF

Hi Kacey.

It's very easy to make excuses for why we can't or won't do something. Those excuses become very real to the person and justifies, to themselves, why they have choosen their way of life.

Anxiety is difficult to live with but medications can and do work. It might take time and trial and error with different meds but it is possible to live with anxiety. Counseling can also be very helpful.

There may be more going on with your mother than just anxiety such as depression and possibly agoraphobia. I do not have a medical background, I am just basing my thoughts on what you have written.

Your mother could benefit from being evaluated by a Physchiatrist.

We can make suggestions but unless your mother wants to help herself there is nothing you can do...I am sorry