It is not for me...

I want to help one of my cyber friends who suffers anorexia.... She is... pretty bad... she, cut herself until she bleeds because she sees herself fat when she is dying because never eats...

I dont know what to say to her... she told me she takes meds and goes to therapy, but still...

Would like to say something to her that might help her... any ideas ? how could I help her !?

I am a patient who suffers from anorexia. Mine is getting better through therapy, but it has taken a long time. There isn't much that anyone can say to get her to stop, she needs to become aware of the problem and be willing to fix it on her own. The more people bring it up to her the worse it actually becomes. That was how it worked for me anyway. The more people said I didn't eat, the less I ate. The more people said I worked out too much the longer my routines became! I do not suffer from cutting myself so I can give you no guidance in that department. My therapist did tell me to take pictures of myself, and that did seem to show me that I was not as fat as the mirror and my brain said. You could see if that works. Sorry this was so long but I am concerned for your friend.

Thanks !!!

Could you please tell me... imagine you are my friend... what would you like to listen ?? I mean, any words of support ?? but, I dont know what to say !!! Like... you are fine... or, should I just... "ignore her"... ??

She is in a pretty bad mood 90% of the time... and, I dont know what to say... or do... If not to help her with her problem because that is what therapy is for, at least, help her feeling... loved ??

I wouldn't ignore her. The problem is there just don't you bring it up. If she does bring it up, then talk about it but no nagging. Just ask her if she is okay and if there is any thing you could do to help make things easier. Try to keep things light. Just let her know that no matter what you love and support her and that you will always be there. That is what I would want to hear from you. If she is already going to therapy the last thing she wants to do is feel like she is in therapy when she talks to you too. I also hope you are talking to someone else about the cutting, cause that bothers me. I hope I am helping you!!

collinsc

BlueMajo,

Your friend needs help.

Cutting is a coping mechanism...not a good one . Cutting is a way for someone to decrease emotional pain for physical pain (cutting). As time goes on the cutting can become more frequent and deeper. Medication can help with the urge to cut, Lithium is one that comes to mind.

In my very unprofessional opinion, your friend needs to be inpatient at a Psychiatric hospital where she can get the help (therapy, medication and watched).

If you feel your friend is in danger from herself the best thing you can do is call 911.

Blue

there is a forum for anorexia and other eating disorders on the main Psych Central forum http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=10

maybe members there can give you some insight

even tho we are part of PC, you would need to register there as the log in from here wont work there

they also have a support forum related to self injury

I hope your friend will be able to find help to heal from all this

Thank you so much dear all for your posts, comments and advices.

She says she is in theraphy and taking her meds, but she has some very dark days... when, I dont know what to say to her or...

Chemar, I will definetely go there ! and perhaps, will convince her to sign in herself !

Thank you !!

I have battled this off and on for 20 years, and have seen other friends go through it too.
I watched one cut her arm up and would only stop once she had cut herself so badly that she had to go to get stitches. It was the only way that she could feel anything.
It is a scary, lonely, and a disease that is the only thing that you can control when your world feels out of control. It often has little to do with being or feeling fat.

There are some amazing websites out there, and there is a lot of support for friends and caregivers. Please don't ignore them, or not say anything.