The purpose of this thread is to be informational and educational. Members are encouraged to add to this brief description that I am providing.



Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, aka OCD, is classified as an anxiety disorder and is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). A characteristic feature of performing the compulsions is that it provides only temporary relief, and not performing them markedly increases anxiety. The obsessive thoughts can also markedly increase anxiety, stress, fears, phobias etc

A somewhat unifying theme for people with OCD is that they often describe how they feel driven, ie compelled, to have things "just right" and that they feel they "have to" do things a certain way "or else" something negative will result. Frequently the compulsions are a result of the obsessive thoughts, in an attempt to reduce the anxiety that the thoughts are producing.
This often results in a cycle that begins to interfere with normal functioning.


For some people, their OCD symptoms are mild and not significantly intrusive in their lives as to require treatment.
However, for many, impairment of daily life results from the continuous cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions, and they feel controlled by these seemingly uncontrollable symptoms.

Thankfully there are a number of treatment options that have the potential to help with OCD, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), over the counter supplements and dietary modifications and prescription medications.

for more detailed info on OCD please see the NIMH website
as well as the thread here for Useful Websites & Resources for OCD

My OCD is first thing every morning I try to log on to Braintalk.org.
Then I try again, again and again with no success!
But in reading here on BT2 I've learned this is a habit of possibly 40,000 other people who had relied on the possibilty of it coming back as promised months ago....sigh....
Gosh....why on earth not even a simple one liner just an update would have done much for many!
I just had to put my 2 cents in the hat on this very worn out issue. But this isn't my real OCD...

I will open myself up to being subject to many roll-eyes...but perhaps others may find themselves having some of the same issues....my complusion is really getting bad.
Its causing me loads of anxiety, stress and often embarrasment when my husband tells others my secret "sin"..... I've turned into a pack rat.
I have fears of one day someone knocking on my door with a camera crew behind them....doing a story of people who hoard stuff!
I grew up desperatly poor....I mean welfare poor. My father gambled away my mothers paychecks. We often went hungry...we never had anything nice.
In good times we shopped at thrift stores for Christmas presents...always just for clothing.
I had to wear hand-me downs and church charity, Dorcas closets.
The strongest memory of wanting something was a pair of T-strap shoes. I was in the 3rd grade. These were cherry red sparkely patten leather. No matter how much I begged my mother refused to get them for me. She NEVER got me anything except what was from someones cast off's.
I even prayed to God for them...thats how much I wanted them. To this day whenever I see this color it triggers sadness in me.
Now they've come out with a washer/dryer set in this color, wow! I asked Santa for this set.....Red in my laundry room? But these are a pretty cool set!
The one they've been advertising with the steamer in it.
But the color just triggered memories. When ever I find something...anything with that color I must have it...including cars!
I married my husband back in 1973. He was just graduating from college. We skrimped,saved and "fruggeled" in order to purchase our first home. We invested in more property every year. I drove junk cars, continued shopping at thrift stores, garage sales etc....in order to have money for those type investments.This is about the only thing I did right!
You'd think we were destitute people if you saw the junky cars I'd drive.
My husband got his dream job with Motorola and they gave him a company car, basic ugly sedan so we had reliable transportation except for my junkers.
Other people asked how we were able to afford all that real estate, while they wasted money on fancy new cars, new furniture, expensive clothing and always eating out.
We brown bagged ALWAYS!
We never had new furniture...always from garage sales or thrift stores. I wanted to use the money for better and more houses.
But despite this our home always looked nice, but nothing really fancy.
I was a perfectionist when it came to our home. It was always spotless.
They dubbed me "Ms Neat-nic" amongst the family.
If you'd open a cupboard I even had everything in order, catorgorized and looked like something out of Martha Stewars kitchen.
I love sewing...I'm an awesome seamstress. I also do lots of crafts, I water color, paint and love making "things".
Then.....I became ill in 1990 when I had to stop working. The pain and fatigue overwhelming.
I'd make a small mess when I tried doing my art work, sewing and crafts.
Problem was I didnt have the energy to clean up when I was done.
I'd put everything into a plastic tub, I love the big ones by Rubber-maid...put a lid on it and put it in a closet.
More and more tubs later.....the garage started filling up. I couldn't throw it out....the tubs are filled with good stuff....some half finished projects.
Material is my biggest/worst OCD.
So....I had a huge project/craft room built. I had these awesome cabinets, storage closets custom made for my differing type of crafts.
This room should be someones dream! It has 3 different sections and 2 dormers, sky lites, wall to wall cabinets with cutting tables, dormers have window seats with storage under....perfect!
My husband put in stereo, Flat screen TV entertainment center for me so I could have this awesome area for my stuff.
Then more stuff....more stuff....more stuff!
Now I realize I have a problem with not being able to throw anything away.
I just can't bring myself to give it away or sell anything!
I am absolutly overwhelmed by all this junk!
Then I started putting some of the "over flow" into what is supposed to be my comfort room....I'd designed this awesome room filled with nice antique bedroom set, plum colors, gold and angel decor.
Something you'd see in a magazine. I'd go in there when I couldn't sleep to watch TV and sleep so not to disturb my husbands sleep.
Now that room is filled with tubs of "stuff".
I've been talking to a councelor about all this....decided I've "picked up" an OCD in saving "stuff". Stuff I could do without.....stuff I may never use!
I just can't beleive what I've done, doing. Its a nightmare.
I keep thinking that one day soon...I'll feel good enough to go through the tubs and put it away or get rid of it. My fatigue is often overwhelming to me and I just have enough energy to do a small project....but overwhelmed when it comes to cleaning up the mess I made.
My councelor said its stemmed from fear....old issues of never having anything and the habits I picked up always trying to be frugal so we could buy more real estate.
My walk in closet in our mastor suite is the size of most peoples bedrooms. I can't even put my clothes away because its just too crowded with stuff.
Most of my clothes comes from Cold Water Creek....I love that store...sadly there are a few bags of clothing I purchased....still in the bags!
I guess you might say I am rebelling and spending foolishly for all the times I had to be frugal.
If I threw out all my craft, sewing, art stuff....I would miss it...but if I needed something....I am able to purchase it. But we live way out of town and it takes half hour minimum just to get milk! And besides....I may use my stuff for a certain project.
It just doesn't make sense to anyone.
Then it spilled out into our garage. That did it! So my husband had a huge storage building built to store all my junk!
I decorate Christmas trees for Providence Hospitals Festival of Trees...so I can have a nice place to store that type of stuff there.
When you walk into our home you would never know I had so much junk in those areas....I keep the doors closed...I'm not willing to come out of the closet just yet. I'd really like to get this "Fixed". I often dream of having our home burn to the ground....just a way to start all over again. How awful is this type sicko thinking? We were going to purchase a larger home 3 house down from ours recently but got beat out by another buyer....it had a 35 X 55 foot building and a one bedroom cottage attatched to the house...all on one level with a better veiw than our home...but someone beat us to it in a "bidding war". I still cry about "losing" out on this....but what we really need is for me to get rid of half this stuff.
I also got myself a decent vehicle! No more junky cars! But no energy to drive it! Oh well.
What do I do? How do I fix this?
Gosh....this is embarrising opening up myself with such personal info.
Blessings, cheryl

Dear Cheryl,
I read your message and just wanted to tell you how much I admire your honesty in talking about such a personal subject. I know several people who are hoarders and have great, in fact, enormous difficulty dealing with it in their daily lives. I would describe it as overwhelming for them actually. So overwhelming that just trying to sort out some of the possessions to discard is actually painful. There are several of us in my family, including myself, who have OC behaviours, but not hoarding, so it's difficult for me to give any helpful suggestions other than a couple of websites I'll post down below. I'd also suggest, even though maybe I shouldn't, that if you are feeling that you're not getting enough help or support from your present counsellor, then I'd maybe see someone else. I don't know. Maybe you feel you are. From what I know about OCD as a whole, there are strategies that can help, but you need the right support and you would need to be really motivated because I would imagine it would be very draining and emotionally difficult to change some of these behaviours after all this time. My heart goes out to you. It really does.

There are several sites recommended on the OC Foundation website:

The Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation:
http://www.ocfoundation.org/hoarding/

The Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living:
Hartford Hospital
http://www.instituteofliving.org/ADC...e_hoarding.htm

Association for the Advancement of Behavior Therapy:
http://www.aabt.org/

From Anxiety Disorders Association of America.
http://www.adaa.org/GettingHelp/Anxi...orders/OCD.asp

Thinking of you.
Lara

(((Cheryl)))
I cant add much to the answer Lara gave, other than to mention Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which seems to really help many people cope with the OCD symptoms that are most troublesome to them

It is really important tho to find a psychologist who is not only well trained in CBT, but who also has a gentle and compassionate manner. The first one my son had was a bit domineering and "take charge and change you" in manner and that was not what we wanted at all. Once we found the right therapist, the benefits were really notable! and my son learned so much about coping mechanisms and his OCD

Here is a bit more info on CBT
http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

HTH

Ok I really need to understand this OCD . In many ways I do understand it but I have some compulsive behaviours also . but am really affected by my sons habits I will losly use words because I am not sure of his ocd thing . He has just left home but I am still affected . He talks about germs . I rationalize he is educated and worked in food production eggs raw product and you can die if eggs are eaten raw or if you get seminela . But when He is around he doesn"t open his hands and it is a contant conversation , I have been called " dangerous" by him .because he will observe me and watch me (I guess ) because he will say thats not clean , constant comments . he has a facination with biology also and got top marks in school and secretly could have enjoyed being a mortcian . he is never cruel to animals . He as a boy never played with toys .He rode a motorcycle around and around the house in constnat movement . he was two at the time . he never really played with toys to my recollection .He is a grown man of 30 yr old si this is really looking back . The thing is I can"t shake the germ thing after yrs and yrs of his " clean thing ' I am beyond effected . I wash everything . This is mostly around food . The counter and the dishes . the stove and cups and forks and spoons. It is very painful .It is not my TRUE obsession but I am constantly aware of germs and dirt and feel shame .and unclean feeling around these issues . I want to not think about this it is not my issue . but it has become my issue . You see alot of his information is true and safe food handling >> turkey , salad dressing..eggsI. The bathroom has become an uncomfortable place because of germs and how unclean a bathroom must be . I get anxiety flushing toilets in a washroom in a store where there is no lid . because I once was told about ths dye they used to put in the toilet , then flushed it and later the dye was all over the bathroom . At home it is different . OH and getting out of the washrrom from a store is really hard flush ( anxiety building washing hands now drying hands ok now how do I get out without touching the knob' I now use a paper towel and throw it on the floor or use my sweater , to cover my hand .I don"t think I have any rituals . BECAUSE I DON"T WANT TO HAVE ANY !!!!!the thought of rituals checking sare me . I mean the behaviuor sounds so suffocating ( anxiety ) If I visit my girlfriend with her 4 kids I cannot eat when they are near me . They are not kept clean in my opinion and she has two cats and two dogs and they just had puppies . worms kids and dirty hands I strip off when I get home because she truely has a dog that had round worm and I have two dogs that are tested and well cared for . Round worm is from farms not your normal worm thing . I am afraid of passing it along on my cloths or feet to my pets . Her daughter took her bandage off her finger and put it in my coffee because it had a wart on it ewhhhhh. I never told her mother.She is a brat but I never let on it bugged me because what if she knew to bug me like that again . She is 9 yrs old .But I sleep with my dogs . go figger it so irrational My sons" "germ thing" to me is really painful . I don"t know how often other people think about germs or washing their hands because I would never tell anyone for fear that they would; just to bug me, scrub my toilet with my toothbrush to be mean .My daughter once at 13 got angry at me and scrubbed my turtle down , with my toothbrush . I did everything to not react even now I keep it a non- issue because of a fear that someone will comtaminte my " something " They will just know that is the worst thing they could do to me beyond hurting my pets . Well this is a good start . but I don"t know if it is a normal response . I mean these are very personal never spoken thoughts and I have lived a painful life with my sons constant germ thing ... judylouwho I ffel like I have croossed a bridge but to where ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????hmmm need to talk to someone who has been there done that . I don:t hoard that much only paper and books and writings and words are very special to me . I am not materialistic .very opposite to this as if rebelling and I am 55 yrs old .....This is very hard for me to talk about this pain I feel like I am bleeding inside broken and bleeding just a feeling ........

Ok I really need to understand this OCD . In many ways I do understand it but I have some compulsive behaviours also . but am really affected by my sons habits I will (losely use words) because I am not sure of his germ / ocd thing . He has just left home but I am still affected . He talks about germs . I rationalize he is educated and worked in food production eggs raw product and you can die if eggs are eaten raw or if you get seminela(sp) . But when He is around he doesn"t open his hands and it is a contant( topic)of conversation , I have been called " dangerous" by him .because he will observe me and watch me (I guess ) because he will say" thats not clean" , constant comments . he has a fascination with biology also and got top marks in school and secretly could have enjoyed being a mortcian. He chose engineering . He is never cruel to animals . He as a boy never played with toys .He rode a motorcycle around and around the house in constant movement . he was two at the time . he never really played with toys to my recollection .He is a grown man of 30 yr old so this is really looking back . The thing is "I" can"t shake the germ thing after yrs and yrs of his " clean thing ' I am beyond effected . I wash everything . This is mostly around food . The counter and the dishes . the stove and cups and forks and spoons. It is very painful .It is not my TRUE obsession; but I am constantly aware of germs and dirt and feel shame .and unclean feeling around these issues . I want to not think about this it is not my issue . but it has become my issue . You see alot of his information is true and safe food handling >> turkey , salad dressing..eggsI. The bathroom has become an uncomfortable place because of germs and how unclean a bathroom must be . I get anxiety flushing toilets in a washroom in a store where there is no lid . because I once was told about ths dye they used to put in the toilet , then flushed it and later the dye was all over the bathroom . At home it is different . OH and getting out of the washrrom from a store is really hard flush ( anxiety building washing hands now drying hands ok now how do I get out without touching the knob' I now use a paper towel and throw it on the floor or use my sweater , to cover my hand .I don"t think I have any rituals . BECAUSE I DON"T WANT TO HAVE ANY !!!!!the thought of rituals checking sare me . I mean the behaviuor sounds so suffocating ( anxiety ) If I visit my girlfriend with her 4 kids I cannot eat when they are near me . They are not kept clean in my opinion and she has two cats and two dogs and they just had puppies . worms kids and dirty hands I strip off when I get home because she truely has a dog that had round worm and I have two dogs that are tested and well cared for . Round worm is from farms not your normal worm thing . I am afraid of passing it along on my cloths or feet to my pets . Her daughter took her bandage off her finger and put it in my coffee because it had a wart on it ewhhhhh. I never told her mother.She is a brat but I never let on it bugged me because what if she knew to bug me like that again . She is 9 yrs old .But I sleep with my dogs . go figger it so irrational My sons" "germ thing" to me is really painful . I don"t know how often other people think about germs or washing their hands because I would never tell anyone for fear that they would; just to bug me, scrub my toilet with my toothbrush to be mean .My daughter once at 13 got angry at me and scrubbed my turtle down , with my toothbrush . I did everything to not react even now I keep it a non- issue because of a fear that someone will comtaminte my " something " They will just know that is the worst thing they could do to me beyond hurting my pets . Well this is a good start . but I don"t know if it is a normal response . I mean these are very personal never spoken thoughts and I have lived a painful life with my sons constant germ thing ... judylouwho I ffel like I have croossed a bridge but to where ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????hmmm need to talk to someone who has been there done that . I don:t hoard that much only paper and books and writings and words are very special to me . I am not materialistic .very opposite to this as if rebelling and I am 55 yrs old .....This is very hard for me to talk about this pain I feel like I am bleeding inside broken and bleeding just a feeling ........ok another thought I think I am attached to my son in an unhealthy way and somehow picked up his germaphob thing .i HAVE OBSSESSIVE BEHAVIOUR SO i HAVE PICKED HIS IP BUT IT COULD BE SOMETHING ELSE BUT IT IS GERMS RIGHT NOW . HELP i USED TO HAVE PROBLEMS WITH COMPULSIVE SPENDING AND AM FACING DIRE STRAIGHTS RIGHT NOW . i AM LIVING ALONE WITH MY DOGS IN A TINY PLACE BUT AM NOT SUFFERING WITH THE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT THINK i AM SUFFERING FROM -- YOU GUESSED IT THE GERM / FEAR OF GERMS THING ...

sORRY i POSTED TWICE i HAD TO RELOG IN ; IN BETWEEN POSTS . JUDYLOUWHO LONG POST FOR A FIRST POST ,,,,

Hi judylouwho

I am glad you were able to release your feelings about all this here

Honestly, that is why I believe so firmly in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for OCD and also other behavioral issues. Unlike meds, which really just cover up symptoms, CBT helps one understand these thoughts and behaviors and develop coping skills that really work! This in turn reduces stress and anxiety levels and so also helps overall. If you take a look at the Useful Websites sticky thread at the top of this OCD forum, you will finf some very helpful info on CBT and OCD

Some over the counter supplements used in combo with CBT, can be very beneficial for many (different people respond differently to the various ones, but generally INOSITOL, a B Vitamin, is well tolerated as is samE (methionine)
Many people find benefit from 5HTP in low dose, but it can make some people very edgy and so should be used with caution, and preferably under doctor supervision)
There are medications for OCD, but they do come with a heap of side effects that one needs to be aware of

Again, I am glad you are here as it is so important to be able to talk about this in a supportive environment.

Thankyou Chemar , I did have a better day . As you said about releasing some of those feelings ; was a cathatic experience . Today I felt more balanced . And I do intend to look into some of the vitamins and cbt, and more on this site judylouwho

I am so glad that talking about it helped judylouwho

stay in touch........lotsa good folks all over Neurotalk