[ClumsyCharlie]

Recently I've been feeling so much better, almost normal, so the thought of having a weekend where I went to a comedy gig with my boyfriend before spending a whole day with my loud family was exciting.

While I had a good time, half way through my family day, I'd started suffering, forgetting what I was dong, the food I'd ordered, where I was.. while my father is now perfectly used to me being slower and is patient with me, and my aunt, a nurse, is understanding about my PCS, my cousins all found my forgetful nature and dazed expressions a mixture of: amusement, annoyance and awkwardness.

One moment which stands out for me was when my closest cousin stated that my 'head thing' is 'nothing' and that my personality hasn't changed and that having a couple of headaches 'every now and again isn't so bad'. I was mortified that someone who was meant to know me so well couldn't notice the differences, that I get angry/upset quicker, that I struggled the whole day not to let on that I was in so much pain and that I found the whole day stressful and completely overwhelming. I wanted to explain to her. Sit her down and ask her to try and live my life for a day. I couldn't speak.. Later on, she also questioned why how I could forget what I ordered, which, when I didn't answer, led to her persistently asking. I found it really upsetting, my aunt comforted me and tried to mime 'head injury' and 'shh' to stop her asking.

Has anyone else had these situations? How would you cope? Do you explain to someone that it's more than a couple of headaches or do you just brush the comments aside and pretend that it's nothing that affects you greatly?

[EsthersDoll]

I'm sorry that you experienced that.

I've had more frustrating experiences with Dr.'s and health care professionals who didn't know me before the injury and seemed to minimize what was happening to me than people who knew me before the injury I sustained. People who knew me before the injury could totally tell something was very wrong with me.

I do get frustrated when stuff like that happens, but like I said, it's usually with strangers so I'm sure it doesn't affect me as much as it would if it were someone I know. I usually try to talk about it with people (vent) until I'm able to let it go.

I've read about people like your cousin though. I think some people aren't really as aware as others. I also think some people try to minimize what's happened as a way of coping with it themselves. It would be great if your Aunt could explain it to your cousins since they don't seem to understand. Maybe you could send them a link in an email to the tbiguide to help them to understand what's going on with you.

[Marina22]

Hi ClumsyCharlie,

With my concussions history, yes, I've been in situations like yours before. And what I've learned was - don't expect people to understand - they don't. You'll never understand one's situation fully unless you've been in one. Hope, that makes sence...

My friends used to tell me - you're just feeling sorry for yourself, you need to get up and get going and you'll get better, it can't be that bad cause you look just fine to me, so what you have a headache - get yourself some tylenol and so on. I used to even cry over it - how my family and friends can be so cruel...

Than I realized - I would, probably, behave the same way meaning only good. Maybe, I dont know for sure...

I guess, what I'm trying to say is - just try to understand that people don't mean any harm. They are just simply not educated well-enough, have never been in this situation before... They are being helpful or curious or both without trying to offend you. Take it easy and good luck!