[BobbyB]

Profiles of hope, courage

By LINDA LOMBROSO | THE JOURNAL NEWS

Richard Cohen in his Irvington home holds his new book "Strong at the Broken Places: Voices of Illness, A Chorus of Hope."


(Original publication: January 6, 2008)
Four years ago, Richard M. Cohen wrote of his struggles with multiple sclerosis and colon cancer in "Blindsided: Lifting a Life Above Illness: A Reluctant Memoir." When he began promoting the book - and listening to audience members share their own experiences with chronic illness - he discovered countless other stories of courage and hope.


"I came to realize, as I started talking to people, that though illnesses vary a great deal, there's an enormous amount of common ground in the emotional battles we all fight, and what we have to cope with,'' says Cohen, a longtime journalist, Emmy-winning TV producer and father of three who lives in Irvington with his wife, Today show host Meredith Vieira. "And I thought, boy, if I could find a group of people that were willing to open up their lives and talk about it, it could be an extraordinary book."


It is.


In "Strong At the Broken Places: Voices of Illness, A Chorus of Hope" (HarperCollins, $24.95), Cohen looks at five Americans living full lives despite chronic illness. There is the stubbornly independent Denise Glass, of California, who started showing symptoms of ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease, in 1999; the devoutly religious Buzz Bay, of Indiana, whose faith keeps him strong as he battles non-Hodgkin's lymphoma; Maryland college student Ben Cumbo, who was diagnosed as a child with muscular dystrophy and has spent much of his life in a wheelchair; young Ohio social worker Sarah Levin, who's been suffering for years with a debilitating case of Crohn's disease, a disorder that causes inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract; and mental health professional Larry Fricks, of Georgia, who struggled with alcohol abuse and spent years in and out of mental hospitals before being diagnosed in 1984 with bipolar disorder.


Cohen says it was important to him that mental illness be included in the book, since as many as 15 percent of Americans have some form of the disease.


"I think that people who deal with mental illness have to deal with very harsh attitudes from an unknowing public, so I think the struggle is much harder,'' he says.


Although Cohen ultimately developed a close relationship with each of the five people he wrote about - and introduced them to one another at a meeting he arranged in Boston - the process of getting to know them on a deeply personal level took time.


After spending nearly six months selecting a diverse mix of potential interview subjects, he proceeded carefully. "I spent another period of months just going around to see the people without ever pulling out a tape recorder. I think it was very important to connect to them on a human level,'' says Cohen. "I might have taken a couple of notes, but I really low-keyed it until I assessed that there was a comfort level. Then it was easy after that."


Cohen believes his own battle with MS helped him relate, particularly on an emotional level. What struck him as he worked on the book, however, was each person's insistence that everybody else had it worse.


At one point, even Glass - whose ALS will ultimately lead to total loss of bodily control - told Cohen she'd never prefer to have multiple sclerosis.


"I looked at her like she was nuts, but it's really true that we look around and see other people's pain,'' he says. "I was stunned when Christopher Reeve read (an early version) of 'Blindsided' and agreed to write something for the cover. …And I felt why would this guy, with all he's going through, be interested in my story? But I think we all look at each other and we're touched by each other."


Fricks, who's maintained a close friendship with Cohen - and still wears a red "Never Give Up" ALS bracelet that was a gift from Glass - remembers what it felt like to come together as a group for the first time.


"There was a tremendous sense of connection,'' he says. "I have a favorite quote from Martin Luther King, that we're all wrapped in a mutual garment of destiny. I'm not all I can be until you're all you can be. You're not all you can be until I'm all I can be. I just think it's so powerful for people to connect who are hopeful and have come through illnesses and disabilities. It's a powerful bond and I'm glad to see we're connecting. And Richard's book really facilitates us connecting and creating a web of support."


One of the problems with having a chronic illness, says Cohen, is that most of the time, nobody's interested. When people offer the standard "How are you?" greeting, they really aren't looking for a response.


"With people like me, I think people would just die if you actually answered the question,'' he says. "I have, literally, daily pain-discomfort issues, and I'm not complaining, but I mean if I ever answered that question honestly, they'd be running for the fire exit."


Cohen is also troubled by society's tendency to marginalize people with any form of chronic illness.


"We're sort of put in our own category. We are second class citizens, we have more trouble finding jobs because we're thought to be a risk even though we might bring more to it than other people, and it's harder to establish relationships,'' he says. "I think, in very subtle ways - or not so subtle ways - we're really up against a lot trying to function in the world, so if indifference is the only thing, I could live with that. I'm not looking for attention. I'm not looking for a pat on the head or anything. I just want to live my life."


Cohen says that meeting Glass, Bay, Cumbo, Levin and Fricks helped him to put his own problems in perspective. "How people deal with illness is not necessarily so different from how they deal with losing their jobs or troubled marriages or things like that,'' he says. "I think there's a style of coping that people have. I just admire these people a great deal.''


Buzz Bay, who's stayed in touch with the group, says he's looking forward to their meeting again this week, when they reunite for appearances on the Today show. "Richard is an incredible man who has an incredible story to tell himself,'' he says. "When I met him three years ago, I met a gruff reporter from New York who was very headstrong. And I think we've softened his heart to the cause of 'we the people,' we just as common people…so it's really opened his heart and he's an amazing man himself. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him.''


Although Cohen says his children haven't yet read the book, he's planning on writing personal inscriptions for Ben, who's almost 19; Gabe, who's turning 17; and Lily, who's 15.


"It's very important to me that my kids understand - and I think they already do from the house they live in - that life's not fair and people have a hard time,'' he says. "I think my kids are pretty sensitive to that, and I want to keep that going."


Bay believes it's a lesson worth teaching.


"It's an incredible time to get the message out about hope. I'm very honored to be part of (the book)," he says. "I never dreamed that having cancer or having disease would take me to amazing places, meeting amazing people and being able to tell a story of hope and courage."


As Cohen points out, maybe Ernest Hemingway had it right.


"Hemingway wrote in 'A Farewell to Arms,'' he said, "the world breaks us all and afterwards many become strong in the broken places.''


"It's really true."



Richard Cohen makes applesauce with son Gabe in their Irvington home kitchen.

To read an excerpt from the book, contribute a personal story and or to get details on Richard M. Cohen's coming appearances, visit www.richardmcohen.com.


Reach Linda Lombroso at llombros@lohud.com or 914-694-5059

http://www.nyjournalnews.com:80/apps...LE01/801060305