[KathyM]

I know we're not supposed to talk about politics, but I just listened to a speech by Barack Obama on race relations in this country. It's something I've been longing to hear addressed for well over 40 years now.

I'm not speaking about politics. I'm speaking about race, but I'm not trying to "race bait" anyone.

Like Obama, my son is half black. I'm a white woman from Chicago, my ex-husband is a black man from Kentucky who moved to Chicago. I grew up hearing horrible racial slurs against blacks from my white neighbors. They threw rocks at Martin Luther King and called him a monkey when he came to Chicago back in the 60s. Their "Christian" excuse for their behavior made no sense to me.

My ex-husband grew up being treated like dirt in the south. As he'd walk down the street, white people in cars would call him names and throw garbage at him When we were married, white people threatened to kill us. We couldn't walk hand in hand down the street without some jerk saying something stupid to us. We watched our kind and gentle neighbor fight for his life on a ventilator after being attacked by policemen for driving through their white neighborhood. My own relatives in Arkansas disowned me for marrying a black man. My father was forced to choose between his brothers/sisters and his daughter. Lucky for me and my son, he chose us. He liked my ex-husband.

Which brings me to my son, a product of my marriage to my ex-husband - whom I loved very much and we continue to have a good relationship. When I listen to the racial slurs and political attacks against Obama, it feels like an attack on my own son. It stings like a bee because it's the reason my son has had to deal with so much unnecessary hatred and anger thrown at him (which continues) - how much unnecessary work I've had to do in order to make him strong enough to survive on the streets. It reminds me of the times I've had to sit quietly in pain as white people told "n*****" jokes or complained about them because I was too outnumbered for my voice to be heard.

I've talked about my son with many of you. He's been the light of my life from the moment he was conceived, and he's got a GOOD heart. I'm sure many of you have children/grandchildren who fall into the same category. How would YOU feel if people attacked your family based solely on skin color and life experience they had no control over? My son didn't ask to be born. Does he deserve to be called a "n*****" or treated like a second-class citizen in this country?

[prettypearlgirl]

I'm sorry your son has had to endure the effects of bigotry. It is sad that so many continue to be so small minded, that they would hate someone just because of the color of their skin.

I'm a firm believer of live and let live, do no harm and be the best person possible in life. I am however very concerned about so many today walking around blaming everything wrong in their lives on others. People, no matter what their race, need to take responsibility for their own successes and failures. Discrimination exists in many areas in this country and crosses all race boundries. Ask any person, male, female, black, white, hispanic, asian, over 50, disabled, jewish, muslim, etc., if they have ever experienced discrimination, and I think you will get a resounding yes.

I hope your son has great successes in his life. I am sure you must be a very proud Mom!

Hugs,
Carolyn

[moose53]

I just saw Obama's speech too

This is the first time EVER in my life that I have listened to a politician and cried.

I cried for the loss of John F. Kennedy. I cried for the loss of Martin Luther King. I cried for the loss of Robert Kennedy. I cried for what we've done to African Americans in the name of 'race' or 'superiority' or 'finances' or 'cruelty' or 'government'.

I cried for what's been done to our country by people who really DO NOT care about the people who have worked the hardest and have fought the hardest to make this country.

I remember John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King being killed. I remember the horror and the emptiness and the pain that was felt around this country. I really believe a horrible amount of damage was done to our collective psyche by those days.

I've heard MLK's speeches -- not in person and not in entirety. I've heard JFK's speeches -- not in person and not in entirety.

Today, listening to Barack Obama, is the first time in 4 decades that I've ever heard anyone in government give me the least bit of hope and optimism.

Do you know that 'Barack' is very similiar to a Hebrew name 'Baruch' -- it means 'blessed'. I'm certainly beginning to believe that.

Barb

[lor]

Kathy, Thats sick what ppl did to your ex. Do ppl 'bother' your son just because he is half black. I wonder, do you think several 'older' (todays grandparents of teens or 20s) people are worse? My dad used to call brazil nuts n***** toes & my FIL often talks down some if talking about some black guy. I admit I came home from a concert & told my 19 yr old DD & her BF that black guys sing good blues. They both then had a look like 'Listen to that, you mean so & so sings good). It seems like 3 or so generations ago ppl talked bad, adults of today aren't too bad & many kids are better. Do they learn in school & that they often hear/are taught, RACE DOESN"T MATTER ONE BIT? Do you remember "you can't judge a book by it's cover"? But I'm sure some white ppl are talked down about or to, because they are white.
I hope no one is offended by these words.

I just remembered telling my friend that I was glad alot of black kids 'went to our school.' The school most of my GS friends went to was mostly white & they didn't have as much a chance to be with a black person. This was in the 70's.

Please no one say anything offensive to others. I just wanted to know if you think anything is getting better.

[KathyM]

Thank you Carolyn. I agree, but it was difficult to enforce that belief in my son when he was being continually knocked down for being black. It was difficult for me to blame him for his "failures." Even in "safe" settings (school) it was difficult because I was well aware of the subtle discrimination taking place. I've lived on both sides of the fence - even grew up with some of his teachers.

Barb, it made me cry too. I thought of MLK, JFK and Obama's mother as he gave that speech - how proud they'd be to see such a profound attempt to heal the racial wounds of this country. How AWESOME it would be if this country could truly become "united" at the core without having to amputate any limbs.

JFK and MLK gave me HOPE when I was a little girl. I was devastated when it was taken away. I live a life of NO HOPE now, considering my untreatable/incurable terminal illness (amyloidosis). However, Obama gives me a spark of hope for humanity - and it feels good.

P.S. = Hey Barb, if people are uneasy about his name (Barack), they can just call him by the name he was known as in high school.....Barry. Rather than get upset, maybe they can chill out to some Manilow.

[clouds z]

im sorry you had people treat you so bad kathy but i dont feel my vote is based on race

obama is the most liberal senator in us congress and he says he wants war also in pakistan in iran i think i read and he will go back to iraq if alquada is there and mccain says they are already in iraq

[Curious]

i want to remind everyone that this thread is not a political thread. kathy made that clear.

it's about how her son has been treated because of his mixed race.

this is not a thread to post about the political stance of members or or the candidates themselves.

[KathyM]

Please don't worry about us, Curious. Clouds and I are friends.

Thanks Clouds

His "buddies" aren't running for office. Just because he knows these people, doesn't mean he carries the same beliefs. The beliefs he carries shows in the way he's lived his life and the speeches he gives at the podium. Have you ever heard anything that resembles the "colorful" speeches from his minister - or anything resembling Farrakhan? No.

I have friends who hate white people. I have friends who hate blacks. I have friends who hate Jews. I have friends who hate Mexicans. I have friends who hate American Indians. I have friends who hate homosexuals. The list goes on. I admit, they have all inspired me - in other areas, of course (minus their hatred). Their views have also made me angry at times. Do you think I should cut off ties with these people altogether?

By the way, I've missed you. Did you hear the news my son won't be going to Iraq? He'll go on his regular deployment, then possibly return home for good. YIPPEE!!!

[clouds z]

thats good news kathy

[GIGI69]

I tend to be conservative. But I have been to a couple of his events and admire the way he has conducted himself in the race and how he has (especially in the early primaries) been able to cross racial lines to garner support from both the white and African American communities

As for you son...I can't imagine how difficult it has been for him. However, try to remind him that he has a unique perspective. He has seen both sides and that makes him (and Obama) able to look at things with a balanced view.

It is no secret that I have been involved in local politics. I was fortunate enough to have support from the African American community. However, I encourage leaders from their community to become active in the community at large because no matter how much I want to understand issues that affect them, I haven't walked in their shoes. It is difficult to fully comprehend those issues when you haven't lived the experiences. That is something your son has. That gives him strength and power.

I haven't seen the speech. I'm hoping to see it this evening. Hug yourself and your son.