[Bannet]

This is for all you wonderful caregivers! Please, Please, Please don't ignore your own Health

A friend of the family passed away a few days ago at 58 years old.

Linda was the caregiver to her wonderful hubby who has MS and is in a wheelchair.

She was so focused on taking care of her hubby that she ignored symptoms regarding her own health. When she finally went to see her doctor it was already to late. She had cancer and because of her ignoring sx's it had spread like wildfire.

5 months after her dx she passed away leaving her disable husband.

This is going to be a hard long road for her dh because Linda did everything for him.

Please take care of yourselves! You are important too!
__________________

[Tootsie]

Originally Posted by Bannet

This is for all you wonderful caregivers! Please, Please, Please don't ignore your own Health

A friend of the family passed away a few days ago at 58 years old.

Linda was the caregiver to her wonderful hubby who has MS and is in a wheelchair.

She was so focused on taking care of her hubby that she ignored symptoms regarding her own health. When she finally went to see her doctor it was already to late. She had cancer and because of her ignoring sx's it had spread like wildfire.

5 months after her dx she passed away leaving her disable husband.

This is going to be a hard long road for her dh because Linda did everything for him.

Please take care of yourselves! You are important too!
__________________

Since I was the main care provider for my dear mother and dad I can relate.

People would tell me that I would either get sick or die if I didn't lighten up with regard to care of my parents.

I didn't die, but I sure did compromise my health. I kind of hung in there till mom and dad were gone and then I got sick.

Question is; What do you do? If no one else will step up to the plate (and believe me I tried to make them do it) then do you turn your back? I couldn't do that and so I accept the consequences.

Now, to make it clear, my parents didn't live with me, but I used to drive about 75 mile round trip once a week to clean their apt., do the laundry and take them shopping.

When my mother became seriously ill, I went to the hospital (50 mile round trip) every day and also picked up my dad and took him. I took care of dad the best I could; did his laundry and brought meals.

When mom went into a nursing home I went daily for about 5 years and eventually I went every other day. Then dad went into a home. I'd alternate.

When my DH was transferred to Florida, I made the 1800 mile drive or took a flight on a montly basis. I'd sometimes stay a week or two.

The stress did take it's toll.

I already had my dx of MS, but wasn't too sick till after our second move to NC. Then I got sinus disease and my thyroid became unstable.

Combine the 3 problems and you get one tired person.

However, I would not trade the time I had with my parents and I could never just stand by and let them suffer. If it were my spouse it would be the same. I'm not going to desert.

That's just life. You take the good with the bad and I've had samples of both.

Tootsie

[Dee Crail]

I took care of my husband that fought cancer for 6 years. He lost his fight on May the 4th 2009. I feel very lost at times but my 3 children have been a big help. Now its time to try to help others I have a walker, bedside potty and a power chair with suite case ramp that i would lke to sell, this way i will be helping some one else by not letting them sit and i will be able to finish paying his final expences.thanks Dee Crail

[tamiloo]

I being a caregiver for my husband really knows from past experience how important my health is.

I also wanted to say welcome to Neuro Talk Dee Crail

We do have a forum where you can possible find someone who can use some of your medical equipment.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum55.html

Also it would be great if you could go to the New Member Introduction forum and introduce yourself...lots of fantastic folks here who will be there to welcome you and help you on your way....
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum88.html

If you need anything just give a yell and I will do what I can to help!!

Again....

[(Broken Wings)]

Originally Posted by Dee Crail

I took care of my husband that fought cancer for 6 years. He lost his fight on May the 4th 2009. I feel very lost at times but my 3 children have been a big help. Now its time to try to help others I have a walker, bedside potty and a power chair with suite case ramp that i would lke to sell, this way i will be helping some one else by not letting them sit and i will be able to finish paying his final expences.thanks Dee Crail

So sorry for your loss...

[azoyizes]

Originally Posted by Dee Crail

I took care of my husband that fought cancer for 6 years. He lost his fight on May the 4th 2009. I feel very lost at times but my 3 children have been a big help. Now its time to try to help others I have a walker, bedside potty and a power chair with suite case ramp that i would lke to sell, this way i will be helping some one else by not letting them sit and i will be able to finish paying his final expences.thanks Dee Crail

Welcome to Neurotalk, Dee! This is such a great place with so many friendly, caring, and helpful people. We're so glad you found us!

I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. Please know you are in my thoughts.

[SandyC]

Thanks. I see the doctor at least twice a year because I have those whom I am accountable for. One of my largest fears is that I become sick. Thank the good Lord above I also have my family who told me they will take my place if something should happen to me. That is a huge relief because I kind of feel like no one can care for Jim like I can.

[ewizabeth]

This happened to my SIL. She cared for her DH for several years until he died of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. I'd ask her periodically if she'd had a checkup and she always responded, I don't have time.

Soon after her DH passed she was diagnosed with fallopian cancer, a rare type. She's had treatment, and so far so good, but the treatment was hard, same as for ovarian cancer.

It never, ever pays to put off checkups no matter how busy we are.

I'm glad we didn't lose my SIL too.

[woodhaven]

What do you do when no one else will offer to help or is always too busy?

Sorry for your loss Dee Crail.

[braingonebad]

Originally Posted by woodhaven

What do you do when no one else will offer to help or is always too busy?

Sorry for your loss Dee Crail.

A friend of mine was about killing herself trying to care for husband after his major stroke. He needed 24/7 care, completely dependant.

I told her not to feel guilty about putting him in a nursing home. She was not exactly qualified to do that sort of care, and it was really best for both of them. I knew she loved him and felt like she was abandoning him, but she was not doing either of them any favors, going on as they were.

None of her grown kids had said that to her. when she asked their opinions, they just said they didn't know what to do. She really needed to be relieved of duty, for someone to tell her it was okay not to have to keep this up.

She did end up putting him in the nursing home, and it was better for them both really. Instead of being dead tired form the care end of business, she could visit and just spend time with him, knowing he was safe, his medical needs met and all that. He was more relaxed because she was.

Not saying this is the answer for everyone. But she had no one to turn to. Not that her kids didn't care, they just did not know how to take care of him and did not know how to help her.

Not everyone is cut out for the job.