[braingonebad]

First, thanks to all who replied about ex-DIL's situation.

Son had spoken with her, and she was going to go ahead with the abortion. Her mom and BF were really pushing it. Son had pretty much said what I'd said - that regardless what anyone else thought was right she needed to decide what she could live with. It's not about if it's a good time to have another baby or any of that.

She thanked him for his concern - and mine too. Anyway...

She went to the hospital for the appt. At the last minute, she decided not to go through with it but to keep the baby.

don't get all excited yet.

That was Saturday. Sunday she had a miscarriage. She is beside herself with grief and guilt.

Although things ended between her and my son not-so-nicely (and she never liked me for a minute, lol) I'm a mother too and I feel for her.

And she is the mother of my darling granddaughter.

Please keep her in your prayers.

[AfterMyNap]

Wow.

Let's at least hope that she comes away from this with a better appreciation for pregnancy and its meaning.

So sorry, Brain, it is sad indeed.

[Kitty]

I'm so sorry, Brain.

[greta]

I'm so sorry Brain.

[DM]

Sorry to hear that Cathy! I know it's not up to us to ask "why", but that is just a very hard thing for everyone.

*I wish you were my MIL, even tho I'm probably older than you*

[kicker]

Oh Brain,The "responsible" person in me has her own ideas, but the mother and female in me just feels so sorry for everyone.

[MelodyL]

She is in my prayers (as are you).

But (and now is not the time to do this), but when she is recovered, SOMEONE should sit down with her and teach her two things:

1. Choose her boyfriends in a better manner
2. Choose a method of birth control that she can be responsible about.

There is no reason on this earth why she should get pregnant again. Not unless she wants to. And I gather that she does not.

So hopefully, (and miscarriage is a very sad thing), but hopefully, when she is all healed and ready to go about her business, she will have learned how to be a responsible grown up.

I certainly hope so. I wouldn't wish an abortion on anybody.

So best of luck to you all.

Most sincerely,

Melody

[KathyM]

My condolences Brain. This will be just as painful for her, but it might be easier knowing she had nothing to do with the loss. People need to keep in mind when they are "connecting" with others, that it can produce a baby.

When my best friend was in the final stages of Hodgkin's disease, a bone scan revealed she was pregnant. She hadn't used birth control because they had previously told her she was sterile due to the radiation, chemo, and surgery to rearrange her ovaries. She had always wanted to be a mother.

The docs told her she'd never survive a pregnancy but could not perform an abortion on her because they were a Catholic hospital. She was discharged - kicked to the curb - to find a clinic to have the procedure.

I worked at another hospital and knew the OB docs well. I found a clinic for her and drove her to the appointment. She cried all the way to the clinic.

When we arrived, we were greeted by protesters screaming at us and calling us "murderers." My friend broke down completely and couldn't go through with it, so we left. The protestors cried out in victory over "saving a life."

My friend couldn't return for treatment for her Hodgkin's disease until she had the abortion, so I talked one of the OB docs at my hospital into performing the procedure.

I checked on her that day, and found her in a hospital bed in the hallway waiting. She told me the nurses were giving her dirty looks and saying to each other "just another public aid patient wanting to kill her baby." They treated her like dirt. The ONLY reason she was on public aid was because she had CANCER!

This whole ordeal broke my friend's spirit. She died 4 months later. I often think back on those protesters and wonder whose life was saved that day.

Sorry for going off on my tangent here. I hope your ex-DIL will be able to recover from her loss.

[lor]

Those protesters & nurses should remember what we always learned.... 'You can't judge a book by it's cover'..... they didn't know what was going on. How mean.


My niece had a baby out of wedlock 3 yrs ago. Then a few months ago, got pregnant again. We all wondered 'didn't she learn anything?' But a couple weeks ago, had a miscarriage.

[braingonebad]

Originally Posted by KathyM

My condolences Brain. This will be just as painful for her, but it might be easier knowing she had nothing to do with the loss. People need to keep in mind when they are "connecting" with others, that it can produce a baby.

When my best friend was in the final stages of Hodgkin's disease, a bone scan revealed she was pregnant. She hadn't used birth control because they had previously told her she was sterile due to the radiation, chemo, and surgery to rearrange her ovaries. She had always wanted to be a mother.

The docs told her she'd never survive a pregnancy but could not perform an abortion on her because they were a Catholic hospital. She was discharged - kicked to the curb - to find a clinic to have the procedure.

I worked at another hospital and knew the OB docs well. I found a clinic for her and drove her to the appointment. She cried all the way to the clinic.

When we arrived, we were greeted by protesters screaming at us and calling us "murderers." My friend broke down completely and couldn't go through with it, so we left. The protestors cried out in victory over "saving a life."

My friend couldn't return for treatment for her Hodgkin's disease until she had the abortion, so I talked one of the OB docs at my hospital into performing the procedure.

I checked on her that day, and found her in a hospital bed in the hallway waiting. She told me the nurses were giving her dirty looks and saying to each other "just another public aid patient wanting to kill her baby." They treated her like dirt. The ONLY reason she was on public aid was because she had CANCER!

This whole ordeal broke my friend's spirit. She died 4 months later. I often think back on those protesters and wonder whose life was saved that day.

Sorry for going off on my tangent here. I hope your ex-DIL will be able to recover from her loss.

I used to be stringently pro life. And then I grew up and realised life is not so simple. In a perfect world, there is never a situation as dreadful as what your friend had to endure.



I am so sorry for your loss, and for your friend's suffering.