General Mental Health & Emotional Support For all general mental health or emotional support issues.


advertisement
 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-11-2008, 12:21 PM #1
Brokenfriend's Avatar
Brokenfriend Brokenfriend is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
15 yr Member
Brokenfriend Brokenfriend is offline
Elder
Brokenfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
15 yr Member
Frown What is the condition when a person is always angry at someone?

I have moved close to where my sister,and brother in law live. I've noticed that she is very angry at one person ,and then another. I heard some things about where she use to work,and they had some problems with her.

All I know is she had a real cold feeling for our Mother who didn't have allot of love for us. This angers her.

She has been angry at one person after another for four years. Now she's angry at me. It's been three months now.

She sort of snaps at me a little,accuses me of things,judges me,and tries to put me under her control. She makes me feel guilty,instead of supporting me,or backing me up.

She want's to be right about everything that we talk about. She wants me to sit in certain places,and she wants to direct me around the house all the time. She advises me about things that are non of her business. She doesn't like the way I work. This continually hurts my self esteem. I don't need that. I feel rejection. This hurts me deeply,and I thought that this kind of treatment was over for me.

She got angry at me on the phone 5 years ago,and literally screamed at me,and let me have it. I still remember it,and it was awful. She was angry at me for about 9 months.

I'm baffled. I don't know whats wrong with her emotions. She has MS. Her mental condition seems to be anger. I cannot help If I have different opinions about things that I think are right. There's much more then this. I'm starting to feal a little paranoid,because of her treatment to me,and I don't have paranoia.

My Dad is still alive but he doesn't want to talk about family problems. He has a very explosive temper,and I grew up being fussed at. I don't understand this.

When one problem with one person is resolved,she becomes angry at another person. I see this very clearly. She counts the number of things that she has against someone,and judges them. What is this? She won't go to a therapist.

These are personal attacks. I know the difference between constructive criticism,and personal attacks. I wonder if they did this when I was a kid. I do remember her being condescending in her jokes to me. Brokenfriend
Brokenfriend is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Twinkletoes (06-12-2008), Wiix (09-19-2008)

advertisement
Old 06-11-2008, 01:33 PM #2
Roseblue's Avatar
Roseblue Roseblue is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 155
15 yr Member
Roseblue Roseblue is offline
Member
Roseblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 155
15 yr Member
Default

I hate to have to say this but your sister might have a personality disorder. My dad suffered from a borderline personality disorder and he seemed to be permanently angry at people. He was very bad tempered and very abusive. I don’t know what to suggest if you don’t think she’ll go see someone. I think she should, because it can only get worse. Does she have small children? If so please try to get her to go see someone for their sake. What I’m dealing with today is mainly down to the violence and abuse I suffered as a child.
__________________

.
Roseblue is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-13-2008), GladysD (08-28-2008), Twinkletoes (06-12-2008)
Old 06-11-2008, 11:09 PM #3
Brokenfriend's Avatar
Brokenfriend Brokenfriend is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
15 yr Member
Brokenfriend Brokenfriend is offline
Elder
Brokenfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
15 yr Member
Default Thank you Roseblue

I think that she went to a therapist one time,and he mentioned something to her about the reason that she is angry at our Mother,who passed away last year. She is angry at the therapist. She said that she saw him somewhere,and she said that she staired at him. All of these things run in our family tree. My Dad abused me with his temper tantrums,and alcoholism. The alcohol almost killed him,and he almost died in the Hospital. He stoped drinking after that.

Now Dad doesn't want me to visit him. I mentioned something to him about my sister,and he doesn't want to hear my problems. My sister is giving me the cold shoulder,and is short with me on the phone,and she doesn't like my emails.

She doesn't like the way I clean. I tried to help her with that. She doesn't like my hobbies,opinions,and tries to counter what I say about most everything. They just finished a lawsuit,and she was furious about this Man not making her house perfect. I've been in there,and it's a wonderful house in the country,one acres of property.

That and a number of things,and the way she responds to me is now hurting me. She's made me into a bad person in her mind. The people that she worked with where bad in her mind,and she was the only one that was right in her mind. I don't understand her,and she makes a federal case out of little things. She makes a problem out of most things now that have to do with me.

Now she has compiled a list of things that she doesn't like about me. I cannot have a rational conversation with her,because she says that I am lecturing her,and she doesn't like it. I'm not lecturing her. It's a tangled web,and I don't understand her. I've never come across anyone like her. I don't remember anything good about our childhood. There was no warmth.

Thank you for your input. I will look that up. Thanks. Brokenfriend
Brokenfriend is offline  
Old 06-12-2008, 02:23 AM #4
Twinkletoes's Avatar
Twinkletoes Twinkletoes is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Beautiful central Utah
Posts: 4,611
15 yr Member
Twinkletoes Twinkletoes is offline
Grand Magnate
Twinkletoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Beautiful central Utah
Posts: 4,611
15 yr Member
Default

Bfriend, I'm certainly no expert, but it almost sounds as if she feels threatened by you. I wonder if your successes have caused her self-esteem to dip? Not that you'd do anything intentionally, just a thought.

People like your sister just wear me out. IMNSHO they suck all the life from the people around them. Good luck to you, and bravo for your patience, endurance and continued good efforts. I think she needs you whether she knows it or not.

I always wished I had a sister, but wonder if there might have been competition or contention that would have caused feelings. *shrug*
__________________
Rochelle
.



.


I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it!


LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF!
Twinkletoes is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-13-2008)
Old 06-12-2008, 03:40 AM #5
Roseblue's Avatar
Roseblue Roseblue is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 155
15 yr Member
Roseblue Roseblue is offline
Member
Roseblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 155
15 yr Member
Default

Brokenfriend,

I'm on a board that deals with advice for troubled relationships. Once again I hate to sound negative but the advice given out the most in a situation like yours is to have no contact. Like Twinkletoes said, people like your sister can suck a person dry and wear you down. If you stay in that unhealthy relationship with your sister, you might end up just as bitter and just as angry. Is there any possibility that you could distance yourself from her for a while, just so you can experience the difference and regain your strength?
__________________

.
Roseblue is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-13-2008)
Old 06-13-2008, 10:15 AM #6
Brokenfriend's Avatar
Brokenfriend Brokenfriend is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
15 yr Member
Brokenfriend Brokenfriend is offline
Elder
Brokenfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
15 yr Member
Default We have done this resently

I believe that she is totally blind to the way that she is,and slowly,but surely,more,and more I have felt a need to defend myself. That just made things worse.

I think that you are right. She's pushing me away though by her actions. I haven't given up. We are giving each other space. It's to bad that it has to be that way. I didn't need this. I moved out near them for their support,because things crumbled for me in a capital city.They helped me at first,and are now helping me from a distance.

This has drained me,and she says the same about me. It's a real mess that I don't understand. I'd say something,and she'd say the opposite,and this would go on,and on. She made me feal guilt for most everything. I'd say,I don't understand this. What is this? I don't understand what we are doing. Then she'd say that I was spending to much of my money all the time.

She slowly canceled out all my ideas,my best. My ideas,ideals,thoughts,opinions,knowledge,hobbies,o pinions,good work,wisdom that I have obtained,and most everything else in my life means nothing to her now. Not fair. I don't understand what happened. I don't understand the motives except that she seemed to have money,and dollars in her mind more then my feelings,and health. I just don't know. I just don't understand. There's no answer for this at this time.

I'm now going to social services,and am going to a new Psychiatrist on Monday. My anxiety creates a pain in my chest. I'm sorry,I'm rambling on,and talking too much. I'm upset. I'm sorry. Brokenfriend
Brokenfriend is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Roseblue (06-14-2008), Twinkletoes (06-13-2008)
Old 06-13-2008, 12:32 PM #7
Sannah Sannah is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Burbs of Louisville, KY
Posts: 73
15 yr Member
Sannah Sannah is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Burbs of Louisville, KY
Posts: 73
15 yr Member
Default

Hi BF, google "injustice collector". Many people have made decisions to keep toxic people at a distance from them.
Sannah is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-14-2008), GladysD (08-28-2008)
Old 06-13-2008, 12:50 PM #8
Friend2U's Avatar
Friend2U Friend2U is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Great Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,370
15 yr Member
Friend2U Friend2U is offline
Senior Member
Friend2U's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Great Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,370
15 yr Member
Default Dear Brokenfriend,

Bless your heart. I'm glad to read you are seeking helf for yourself. You can't take care of everyone but you can take care of "yourself". I have been to counciling, and it's funny that "my" needing help had to do with how "another" person treated me. We both went. He quit after a while, but I kept going. I learned how to take care of me. and what I could and could not do for the other person.

Is your sister like your father. And if it's okay for me to ask, are you more like your mom was? She may be scared and therefore lashing out. If she sees in herself qualities she dislikes from maybe her father, she could be acting out in fear...kinda a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't know... I'm no expert for sure. But just basing what I read on things I've seen in my own life.

You are in my prayers. I know this must be hurting you very deeply. Especially since your mom is gone and you are probably feeling a real need to reach out for closeness with the rest of your family. I'm so sorry you are being pushed away!

~Friend
__________________
~ Friend2U
.


.

HANG IN THERE!

If I had to sum up FRIENDSHIP in one word, it would be COMFORT. ~Adabella Radici

MS/dx2006
BETASERON (Quit May 2011)
COPAXONE (Began June 2011)
Friend2U is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-14-2008)
Old 06-13-2008, 01:30 PM #9
Twinkletoes's Avatar
Twinkletoes Twinkletoes is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Beautiful central Utah
Posts: 4,611
15 yr Member
Twinkletoes Twinkletoes is offline
Grand Magnate
Twinkletoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Beautiful central Utah
Posts: 4,611
15 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Hi BF, google "injustice collector". Many people have made decisions to keep toxic people at a distance from them.
Bfriend, Sannah is right. I found this article that sounds like it may apply to you and your sister. http://www.womanlinks.com/content/view/493/36/

I wasn't able to read clear thru it (at work), but perhaps it will help you to understand more about your unfortunate situation.
__________________
Rochelle
.



.


I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it!


LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF!
Twinkletoes is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-14-2008)
Old 06-13-2008, 03:34 PM #10
FaithS's Avatar
FaithS FaithS is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 971
15 yr Member
FaithS FaithS is offline
Member
FaithS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 971
15 yr Member
Default

Are you looking for the term "emotional lability"? [URL="http://http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/symptoms/emotional-changes/index.aspx"]

Quote:
Emotional Lability

Emotional lability or “moodiness” may affect persons with MS and is manifest as rapid and generally unpredictable changes in emotions. Family members may complain about frequent bouts of anger or irritability.
It is unclear if the emotional lability observed in MS stems from the distress related to the disease or if it is caused by some changes in the brain.

Whatever the cause, emotional lability can be one of the most challenging aspects of MS from the standpoint of family life.

Family counseling may be very important in dealing with emotional lability since mood swings are likely to affect everyone in the family.

Severe mood swings respond well to low doses of the anticonvulsant medication valproic acid (Depakote®).
~ Faith
__________________
aka MamaBug
Symptoms since 01/2002; Dx with MS: 10/2003; Back in limbo, then re-dx w/ MS: 07/2008
Betaseron 11/2003-08/2008; Copaxone 09/2008-present
Began receiving SSDI 11/2008
FaithS is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Brokenfriend (06-15-2008)
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I am angry!!!! tshadow Thoracic Outlet Syndrome 9 01-21-2011 09:38 PM
Angry trixlynn Thoracic Outlet Syndrome 8 04-04-2008 03:29 PM
Angry and Sad befuddled2 Bipolar Disorder 3 03-28-2008 03:38 AM
I'm Angry befuddled2 Bipolar Disorder 13 10-17-2007 07:29 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:24 AM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.