Hi All, new to this and writing on behalf of my partner, a 47 year old with ADHD, and I'm desperate for advice, understanding, something. He's had his diagnosis for the past decade and is on meds, but refuses any other counseling or "behavioral treatment," which may come at the expense of our relationship (we've been together 10 years). He makes the most inappropriate comments at work, from foul puns and language to jokes about race. Blurt: out they come.

We work together, so of course everyone looks at me in confusion. He's brilliant, so creative and intelligent, but he has been called in by human resources and deans and supervisors throughout his career and was eventually "not reappointed" time and again. He's heading that way now at our new workplace (we're both college teachers), he's angry and sad and frustrated, I suspect oppositional defiant disorder is also at work as he insists he's in the right almost always and that there's some sort of double standard at work. And there's shame and fear deep down inside him. Who out there has been helped by counseling? What finally made you go? It's hard to live with this misery, as much as I love him. Please help.