Hi All, new to this and writing on behalf of my partner, a 47 year old with ADHD, and I'm desperate for advice, understanding, something. He's had his diagnosis for the past decade and is on meds, but refuses any other counseling or "behavioral treatment," which may come at the expense of our relationship (we've been together 10 years). He makes the most inappropriate comments at work, from foul puns and language to jokes about race. Blurt: out they come.

We work together, so of course everyone looks at me in confusion. He's brilliant, so creative and intelligent, but he has been called in by human resources and deans and supervisors throughout his career and was eventually "not reappointed" time and again. He's heading that way now at our new workplace (we're both college teachers), he's angry and sad and frustrated, I suspect oppositional defiant disorder is also at work as he insists he's in the right almost always and that there's some sort of double standard at work. And there's shame and fear deep down inside him. Who out there has been helped by counseling? What finally made you go? It's hard to live with this misery, as much as I love him. Please help.

Question: is his behavior angry or disruptive? Or just inappropriate?

I have ADHD to where I am highly inattentive and hyperactive, however my hyperactivity mostly is translated with anxiety. However my brother is more of the old school poster child of hyperactive (he is GO GO GO) and had a lot of trouble socially in your guys regard.

The thing is, ADHD can come in many flavors. And I know a lot of people and children with ADHD who have social problems that exhibit in inappropriate comments and even other behaviors. However they are not necessarily defiant but are socially behind of their peers, and with their ADHD it is more difficult to hide.

I believe counseling is a good idea. There are doctors/counselors/behavioral therapists that dedicate their lives to ADHD and other similar disorders like Asperger's/Autism (even specifically for adults with those disorders).

Good luck to you and your guy

Sweets

Thank you, Sweets. Now his behavior is mostly inappropriate at work: he used to be much angrier (breaking furniture, calling names at home, yelling at work, exploding), but I insisted we go to couples counseling or we'd be over. I see so much growth, but sadly, some people at our new place of employment have taken offense at his jokes and language. He resists counseling strongly. Did your brother get counseling? Did he resist? What finally convinced him?

Thank you for your reply. It's a comfort to have others to talk to. So few people understand.

one dont give up on him

read all you can on adhd

even with drugs and counseling i often just blurt what im thinking

adhd lacks the check before we speak we can minor control but its not easy or at time not at all

and adhd and bipolar i cuss like a sailor or worse

adhd is the hardest most misunderstood and hated disorder because we dont fit or speak like everyone wants

im on disability for adhd and over 100 jobs which this year i found out fibro chronic fatigue my whole life that would explain the jobs

add adhd 3 mins and you lost our atten look bird i farted men hmm i smell i need a shower

oooo what did you say honey then our women get so mad my wife gets mad because im bored and talking after 5 min of tv

shes one of those hard core focus and crap me i can walk even on my favorite shows

you need to read to get in the head of in your case adhd males

and you can quiz me and others on here im life adhd and 40

good luck and dont quit relationships are work relationships with adhd war