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My wife has ADHD and I need coaching

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Old 01-14-2009, 12:00 PM   #11
minimouse
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Default Helping a friend!!

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Originally Posted by randy View Post
Help! My wife age 45 has ADHD. The volatility and anger she carries and unloads is destroying our 20 year marriage. Is there someone out there who can coach me as a spouse?

Randy
Randy, I am here to help you. Please what ever you need help on I will help you.. Do you love your wife???If so than what you need to do is put yourself in her shoes,and try to understand in what she is going through. This is not easy for her and I know that it isn't easy for you neither. bShe is not asking for disability too come in between a 20 years marriage. Having ADHD is very hard when someone you love has it......I will be here to support you and her when needed.. I am parent advocate for Up State Ny, which I have been for 15 years. I have been helping people for along time....Don't give up on her or your marriage.

minimouse
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Old 12-14-2010, 03:21 AM   #12
Cbielich
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Default I'm in the same boat.

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Originally Posted by minimouse View Post
Randy, I am here to help you. Please what ever you need help on I will help you.. Do you love your wife???If so than what you need to do is put yourself in her shoes,and try to understand in what she is going through. This is not easy for her and I know that it isn't easy for you neither. bShe is not asking for disability too come in between a 20 years marriage. Having ADHD is very hard when someone you love has it......I will be here to support you and her when needed.. I am parent advocate for Up State Ny, which I have been for 15 years. I have been helping people for along time....Don't give up on her or your marriage.

minimouse
I discovered my wife has sever ADHD about 6 months ago. We are going to counseling for our marriage. I am so done I want out. I can't deal with behavior and even more accepting that this is the way it's going to be for the rest of my life. I have 2 kids and it's killing me we might split up. The only thing I can think of doing first is splitting up to get me out of the house. Just being home builds so much anger in me. She started taking medication and I'm not seeing a difference. Not sure if she wants to come to grips with what she has. I heard her tell me for years she hated me everytime we fought. Now I'm just done, I can't accept it anymore in my life. Just venting....
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Old 01-25-2011, 06:31 AM   #13
gabbycakes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randy View Post
Help! My wife age 45 has ADHD. The volatility and anger she carries and unloads is destroying our 20 year marriage. Is there someone out there who can coach me as a spouse?

Randy
Dear Randy,

ADD I agree is a labeded disorder that most times it has nothing to do with ADD. I'll just tell you a short story. When my son started school we started to have problems with not discipline he has never had a serious discipline problem throughout is whole k-12 but calls from the teachers is not sitting still not listening the first time etc. This went on and on but keep in mind he was a straigh A student so there was not learning problems. Finally in 3rd grade I took him to a neurologist just to make sure he was not ADD. He was always a happy kid very minor problems with friends but nothing serious. Anyway the neurologist report came back negative gave the basic points of why he was not ADD and told the school that a child who has a IQ of 135 which is very high should be challanged instead of being sent to a neurologist. And went as far as to say they should be ashame. As his schooling went on went all the way to AP Physics, Trig and Pre-Calculas currently is in college studing business finance and a very,very smart young man. Is he a little disorganized yes, does he not clean his apartment the way I think it should be cleaned yes.

You stated you wife is very disorganized I believe this can be a sign of many other things depression is the first that comes to mind and second I have been married for 22 years and together for 30 so that's hard in it self. I think getting to the root of the problem is a start. Was she ADD as a child, did she have problems in school?

And to all the parents who allow there children to take ADD medications please be carefull. ADD medications as you all know are anphetamines they stimulate the part of the brain that does not work for focusing, behavior etc. I know some individuals do need it but it has become a recreation drug especially the Adderal so please be careful.

Good Luck

Gabbycakes
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Old 01-29-2011, 11:02 AM   #14
Dmom3005
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Hi ADD and things that are going on are hard to handle at any age.
But when you find these things at adult ages its even harder.

Don't give up on her. Go out and look for specific books on adults
with add. It should be able to help you.

I'm also guessing the anger issues are coming from having the ADD and
not being diagnosised for so long. Medication if its the right one should work when its the right dosage.

Donna
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Old 04-05-2015, 10:24 AM   #15
Mindflower
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Default Hormones and ADHD

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Originally Posted by Mags S View Post
I am a wife with ADHD - had no idea the effect it was having on my husband (married 31 years ). Hormones came into the equation too. Now that I know he's not to blame for my problems things are X1000 better!

He has put up with a lot of anger over the years. Now things are different and better - but I am becoming 'myself' at last so the relationship is also changing!

Hi there,
Have you been taking Adderall or? I am 45, with severe PMS and mood swings/anger... My doctor and I have been discussing Adderall, but I'm afraid of most big Pharma, so have just tried to get along in life as best I can. Work is extremely demanding now and my focus, productivity os more critical than ever... I'm at a crossroads. Any insights would be appreciated.
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