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Old 09-17-2017, 05:25 PM #1
Ruban Ruban is offline
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Default Help - identification of autism in smart girls

Hello,

I'm 21 years old and I need a help.

Since I borned, I know that I have some problem. I don't know if this is natural or if I developped it in my childhood.

One time, my father read my journal and he wrote 6 pages of advice, because I was under 10 years old and I felt strange. He wrote if I were a good girl, everything would be all right.

My mother says I have no problems (yes, I asked her).

My ex boyfriend (a guy I met in a chat and I saw him once in a lifetime, but I think we had an affectionate connection for a year) thought I should have something kind of attention deficit.

As a child, I knew that a psychologist could help me, but I was afraid of what he would tell my parents.

Until I was six years, I lived directly with my grandmother. After her death, I stayed until 11/12 years locked alone at home, most of the time. Because I did not understand myself with my cousins and I was forbidden to interact with my neighbors. The children of the school did not live near us, our contact was limited to inside the school.

I read a text of Somer Bishop (she did not answer my email) about autism in the smarts girls. I identified myself with a few excerpts, such as creating patterns of interaction, wanting to be a boy and having greater ease of interaction with them.

I go to school from 3 years old. The I recall, I asked my parents because I did not like my brother to be learning to read and to add, and I not. The big part of my memories are so confused in dates, but I remember of somes events.

Last year I was able to go on psychology, but I stopped going during a crisis. I remembered a question she asked me when I read this text. I usually need a clear reason for friends' meetings. Whether it's watching a movie, or having a barbecue. It's like I don't know how to maintain a close friendship for long, without having goals of what to do in spaced-out reunion events. I usually need common subject information to pull conversation with someone, I'd say I'm used to analyzing humans.

I once thought I might be autistic, but I also saw similarities of symptoms of depression and anxiety. My psychologist never told me what I have.

But I'm sure I've got something wrong, I've been reflecting my whole life on this. I would like to seek medical experts, but I do not know how to do it without my parents knowing.

I know it's not a teenage crisis. If you want, I can list all the things I've already compared to "normal", and I know they are not.

I would like to know what you could report about this mild autism in girls.

Thank you
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kiwi33 (09-17-2017)
Old 09-17-2017, 09:39 PM #2
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Hi Ruban

Welcome to NeuroTalk .

I can relate to much of what you have written though I am male. I am in remission from Major Depressive Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder as well as (maybe) being somewhere on the Autism Spectrum Disorder range and (from psychometric testing), very smart.

Can you find a psychologist with relevant training and experience to work with you on the issues which are concerning you?

Because you are an adult you can instruct a psychologist not to discuss anything about you with your parents without your explicit consent. Disregarding your instructions would be a very serious breach of medical ethics - a psychologist who did this would probably be in legal trouble.

Best wishes.
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Old 09-18-2017, 11:10 AM #3
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Hi Kiwi! Thanks. In real, my psychologist is a doctor suggested by the University (they sent an email asking if anyone would be interested, this happened after a student had some problems).

My psychologist liked to ask about my week, and when I told her about something that bothered me, she asked why. I think the biggest reason for some bugs is that I do not know the response. And I believe that not knowing is my biggest inconvenience.

For example, I love watching shows and movies. Sometimes things happen that annoy me at the level that I can not keep watching, but I know it's part of the drama.

How do I ask for a psychiatric analysis for me? Where I live, it's usually the family who asks the doctor.

My psychology was usually heard me, and it made me nervous, as I began to wonder what she was thinking about what I was talking about. Is there some kind of psychologist who simulates a conversation? Because I know how to deal with conversations.

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Originally Posted by kiwi33 View Post
Hi Ruban

Welcome to NeuroTalk .

I can relate to much of what you have written though I am male. I am in remission from Major Depressive Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder as well as (maybe) being somewhere on the Autism Spectrum Disorder range and (from psychometric testing), very smart.

Can you find a psychologist with relevant training and experience to work with you on the issues which are concerning you?

Because you are an adult you can instruct a psychologist not to discuss anything about you with your parents without your explicit consent. Disregarding your instructions would be a very serious breach of medical ethics - a psychologist who did this would probably be in legal trouble.

Best wishes.
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Old 09-18-2017, 05:12 PM #4
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Hi Ruban

The way that things work may be different where you live compared to here.

Here the standard way of getting to see a psychiatrist is to ask your GP for a referral. This often involves your GP drawing up what is officially called a Mental Health Care Plan with you. Any adult can do this and it is illegal (because of patient confidentiality) for a GP to tell any family members about this. A GP can also refer you to a psychologist.

Finding a psychologist with whom you have rapport is not always easy (my partner has worked as a psychologist). If you don't feel comfortable with the one who you got through your University you could talk to her directly (in detail) about this. If she is any good she will listen to you and change her approach accordingly.
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Old 09-19-2017, 05:11 PM #5
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Thank you. I will try talk with my family doctor in private.
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Old 04-15-2020, 01:43 PM #6
jbartram_7 jbartram_7 is offline
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Am I right that English is your second language?

In my experience I have never had a psychologist who didn't work for me. I've always been able to get something good out of all of them.

Also if you are not able to maintain privacy. I believe you were locked up for three years you said. Even as an adult that means you will have to negotiate with your family in order to get them on your side.

In my experience with autism I realize that it's very hard for me to do things that don't give me instant gratification. And the instant gratification comes from doing the same thing over and over. Watching TV might be your autistic pattern. If you can identify your autistic patterns and deliberately do something different several times throughout the day you may be able to break your cycles.

You may be partially autistic due to your captivity. If you were literally locked in a house, you may be experiencing Stockholm syndrome.

I understand that you want to have conversations with males. That's natural but it is critical not to start a family until you have plenty of money and a living space. This is why parents forbid their children especially their daughters from socializing. In America it would be considered out of date practice but in your country it might be common practice.

I recommend you do not do anything that your culture does not promote. Save money to move to an area where cultures allow what you want to do and start a new life later.

Please do not cause problems for yourself by defying your family. Try to win them over and show them that you are exactly who they need you to be. Use your smarts to gain their trust. And never complain about them unless you have the upper hand.

Also. You might be very smart because you have been isolated so much. People who are social are smart in different ways but they cannot conscieve what an isolate conscieves of. You've had extra power on focus and that might also be related to your autism.

Don't feel bad about who your family created you as. And don't diminish the power of your life as it already is. The worst thing you can do is to judge yourself based on what you are not exposed to, but you might be aware that there are very different people in the world and that you cannot be all of them at once.

Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk
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