Hi Keggy,

I was just wondering how your friend with breast cancer is doing? Has she started chemo yet?

If you aren't comfortable sharing, I understand, but I was just wondering if she is doing OK.

Take care,
Liz

Thanks for asking... its been a weird thing for me because it really hit home. She has not been caring for herself and has somewhat distanced her self from her disease. Because of this she may have made some critical errors in her care. She is letting the doctors handle it.

I understand this is natural, because when you are dealing with an illness like this it is hard to become informed (since you are so overwhlemed) but thats why you need too depend on family and friends to help you.

Her family acts like nothing is going on.... , expected to work, clean, shop and cook like any other day. She says out of everyone I am the most supportive... but still. Like when she went for her Chemo and I explained that these drugs would cause her too loose all of her hair (every hair on her body) she freaked out and yelled and carried on, this was while the drug was already injected in her.... she needed to know so she could get a wig if wanted (and yes she would want that) The nurse came and explained to her that it was true.. some people think that its hit or miss, but its not. Some drugs will cause you too loose all your hair.

Anywhow... she had her second chemo yesterday. I haven't spoken to her in several days, she is bad at returning calls. i worry about her because her family is not being suportive and not letting her rest. She had to throw a party for her daughter last week plus drive her to the mall to "hang" which made it more difficult for her to pick up a wig. But she didn't mind asking me to stand outside in a nasty storm (to help her get her wig and so her daugher wouldn't be late to hang out at the mall)... so its been tense and difficult.

Because the stats on breast cancer are so high I feel I need to be well informed on the subject, as a therapist, a friend, and a person at risk so I read what I can. It totally sucks.

Breast cancer is very survivable, but depends on lots of factors, I think anyway. Like how early its caught, how aggressive it is and what therapy and action you take against it. In NZ our govt refuse to fund herceptin, so if you have to get cancer anywhere in the world, its not wise to get it in NZ as our medical system, being a public one, dictates what care you receive.

I wonder why her family are so non supportive. Espcially the teen daughter! I wonder if it will hit home if (God forbid) they lose her and there is no one to drive her to the mall to 'hang'.

Do you guys have a cancer society over there. Here it is very active, but depends on the ill person, (or their family) to make first contact as they dont just barge in. But they organise meals, and help with housework and are a listening ear and do lots of other things like drive people to appointments etc.

Cancer does suck! 25% of NZer's die prematurely thanks to cancer. Our experts tell us that much of this (and type 2 diabetes and heart diesease) is lifestyle related.

I think lung cancer is pretty hard to beat, and a lot of lung cancers are traced back to smoking or second hand smoke. NZ just passed laws recently about banning smoking in closed public areas. Like bars, restaurants etc. Its illegal now. So at 10 am and 3 pm workers can be spotted out the back of offices and in allyways as they nip outside for their smoke. No such thing as a smokey bar, pub or restaurant anymore. Ireland have done the same I think.

Ok ramble over - good on you Keggy for being their for a friend. Hard not to judge her family. But ya know they may be in denial too.

I think its a combination of denial and stupidity. Dad still smokes in house. They have always been more concerned about appearance then anything else.
Breast cancer is very survivable when caught early (which hers was) and when the person thinks positive. There is a study somewhere that shows that chemo and other therapies alone is not enough, combined with the belief that you will survive is what makes the difference. Its always back to quantum physics in the end.
We have lots of cancer societies, this past month was national breast cancer awareness month... tons of support... but you do have to ask for it. When in denial you tend to not do that.
Hoping I say this the right way... but in the past my friend and I have always been on opposite sides of the political fence, mostly due to my family having a number of illnesses that may benefit from stem cell research, and hers none. Breast cancer research would benefit tremendously by stem cell research. (I have to also mention... they can now grow functional womens breasts now for transplant! )I can't help but wonder if her ideas on stem cell research will have changed before tuesdays election since it now effects her personally.