either all the men I've known have Asperger's, or it is typical of men to obsess on whatever their current focus. Obsess on the girl they have or want a relationship with, or obsess on something they want to have, or something they want to do.

I know this is just a red herring and I probably shouldn't post this here Roman. I just couldn't avoid the observation. Don't let it distract you from your real question.

There are some speculation that HFA/ AS are basically extreme forms of male personality. This is supported by the fact that women have better social skills while men are better at math and science. Plus of course the fact that HFA/ AS are more common in men, and also the fact that men have larger brains than women much like autistics have enlarged brains too.

Either way, actually HAVING Asperger makes it far more extreme than what other men have. I am sure other men turn off women in a lot of similar ways that I do, but in my case it is SO MUCH out of proportion that I am the one left single most of the time.

Yes Roman, that's the distinction...with the ASD it's the extremity of the trait, the pervasiveness and intensity I suppose, and the inability to modulate it. You've got that right.