Hi, All,
Two and a half weeks ago I told husband we were moving.
The apt complex has changed to low income people and we don't qualify for a new lease. -- I remind myself that that it is a good thing that we get salaries.
And the place is a dump. And we are crowded in this 2 bedroom.
And I am tired of him acting like a visitor because he moved into my apt instead of our getting a new place last year. But he moved in when S. FL was devasted due to Hurricane Wilma and we didn't have much choice.

We found a bigish apt 4 miles away and signed the lease today/Sunday. I hired movers to come on Sat Sept 23.

Husband is being very difficult. He didn't want to move to pay more rent, he doesn't want to pay movers...... He wants to move "himself" (HA. Like to see THAT!!).

My parents sent money to pay for packers -- yes. Packers. But hubby put the check in savings. He is upset that I am contracting for movers.

He threatened to leave if I hire packers. I finally said that next time he brings up leaving, he needs to really mean it and expect to be out the door shortly.

I agreed to no packers and told him that if I cancel the packers then he needs to do the bulk of the packing himself because I am in no way up to it -- mostly due to brain fog.

And he is not helping much with packing.
He has 50 (yes 50) book boxes of his packed with books. But I still see some of his books, DVDs, CDs, and clothes about the place. And we have yet to pack the rest of the apt.
A friend came over last night to help me do three clothes boxes of my stuff. But there is so much more to do.

My sister is freaking out over the phone. She told my parents that I could end up in the hospital over this.
She is trying to tell husband to humor me until the end of the week. It is just one more week until we are in the new place.

When I was growing up we moved every 2 years because of the military and we always had professionals pack and move us across country.

I don't understand him. He seems to have an ego in the way. Something like if I don't need him to help do the physical moving, then I don't need him. He feels that I don't trust him to do the move right.

I moved into this apt in 1993 with a girlfriend. She had no job and I had no credit. Between the two of us, we qualified. Her mother loaned us the move in money. This is hard.

I'm trying hard not to stress. I wish I didn't have to worry about his stress too. Once in a freaking while he could make an adjustment for me!! It would not hurt him to do whatever it takes to make the move go smoothly for me.

I have so much junk. We should get the furniture to the dumpster, put our toothbrushes and my meds in a bag, and just drive over to the new place. Actually, that was one of Husband's suggestions: to throw away MY furniture and use my mother's check to buy a few new pieces that he wanted. But he still has a zillion books. And I have a few. And someone has to move and he can't do it because I don't want him to.

Goodness, I can't wait to get out of this apt and into the new.

He is taking a half day off work tomorrow. I think he needs to destress more than he lets on.

Oh, and I haven't called the phone company yet to figure out how to transfer the DSL and so forth.

I apologize for dumping all this. Thank you.
I will go to sleep and tomorrow will be better.
Mari

Ok.
Wrote too much. Sorry.
But I don't feel like editing it down.
mari

wow!!!
Moving is so hard on all parties.
If your mother gave you guys money to hire packers than that is a mute point in my book.
Money given as gifts is really your money.
You would get that money if it went to court.
I am sorrry that you guys are having problems.
He does need to help with all of the other things besides his books.
Oh how much stress this all sounds like....
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

While I slept today husband took amost all the glassware and crokery in the kitchen to the new place.

I thanked him.

But I'm still confused why he doesn't understand that I already contracted with the movers to do that. All we had to do was pack it properly. He thinks it is easier to throw stuff in boxes and put in his car.

This sounds silly I suppose.
But this discussion has been going on four two weeks.
Soon we will be moved.
Mari

Glad to hear that you rested and that he helped with the glasses, cokkery etc.
yes...this will soon be behind you.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi.....Moving itself is stressful. I believe in movers, it is so much faster, one sweep and they are done. Doing it yourself makes a million trips and is frustrating and makes it more stressful.

Packing, well I never had that, but it sure sounds like a good idea. Plus that way it is done right and you don't have to worry that you didn't pack something good enough and could be broken.

Plus you two, can't do this yourselves, You still need a truck and friends to help.

I wish you luck in your new home, hang in there.........

Hugs, Nikko

Dog's Rule!!!!!

Let's both try to pull through together. day by day. I'm sorry to hear about the rift in packing strategies that is causing you so much stress...
... i too keep thinking of the day it will be over. then other challenges of course. but this wretched moving thing at least will be in the past. one down. rest of life to go?

~ waves ~ in motion

Your husband wants to take your parents money and buy him new pieces of furniture? He does not want you to pay for packers with your mothers money. He does not want to pay more money for a new place. He won't make any adjustments for you. Leaving a lot of things that cause stress seems like a good idea to me. Put your foot down. This should be exciting for you a place to start over.