Well Happy Birthday Bizi! I'll be 41 next month. Time flies...

Thanks Liz - its a tough situation as you know. It really helps to know there are people who can see through it and form their own opinions rationally and not hysterically. Not everyone has reacted rationally to this. The main thing is having a roof over our heads and the second is having something meaningful to do everyday (meaningful = pays the bills and keeps the brain going). When the integrity of either situation becomes uncertain we start getting a little worried. Hopefully our renewed tenantship here in the building will be friendly and uneventful. I don't care so much any more if people dislike me (eventhough I AM a really nice guy!), but I don't want my wife to feel threatened.

Dear Tritone,

Talking to the board about your past was probably good because of their response. It seems that overall they accepted your explanation and your evidence that you are stable now.

You can start learning to give yourself some slack on that too.
You were manic.

For those of us NOT living in NYC, can you tell us how big a much larger apt is? http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/jumping0007.gif You don't have to tell if you don't want to. I'm making a joke, even if it is lame, because I remember that when you said the sq ft of your last apt., we didn't believe you.

My new(ish) Hubby and I moved out of our 850 sq foot 2 bed rm apt into an apt of 1350 sq feet because, well, I FELT CROWDED after he moved in. We've been in the new place since Oct 06.

Maybe some people in NYC learn to live without so much stuff and crap. I also hear that many people in NYC spend much time OUTSIDE their apts -- they use public space more than the rest of us....don't cook much at home.....
OK. Enough of that. What do I know?? I am fascinated with NYC for some reason.

Oh yeah, that's why -- I studied piano http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/musical/keyboard.gif
for a zillion years and alto sax http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/musical/saxophone.gif for a few
and used to think about performing and teaching there.
But it is ok. I stunk.

I sold the sax 18 years ago. And each time I visit my parents I play their piano a few minutes less than the last time. We are down to about 20 minutes a visit now -- couldn't find the show tunes (:eek: ) sheet music, but didn't look real hard.
So now I imagine having enough money to hangout in NYC and having the money and energy (oh Yeah, forgot about the bipolar med side efffects problem...and the sleep problem for a minute) to take in performances.

OH yeah and Parents. UGH. I can't deal with mine. I can't. After the last viist in July 06 I have seriously been considering never visiting them again.....but still not sure how I can do that....especially since hubby and I are not on the same page -- he loves them. Well of course he does!! They are great to people not related to them.

I call my Mom every few weeks and we talk about safe subjects.

That's my way of saying sorry that you have a difficult mother. You already did your best and now have my permission (for all it is worth) to stop trying.

I'm in therapy (again) dealing with them. Thanks Mom. :icon_wink: I am more balanced than anyone I know....even if I do travel in very small circles 0000000 0 00 0

how are the doggies? any pics to share? http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/jumping0002.gif

Apologies if my goofiness is misplaced.
It is nice to hear from you and know that you and your wife are doing ok. I remember how much your old job was wearing you down.

Mari

dang, i spent an hour writing a reponse and my logon timed out and I lost all of it. DANG!

So here's the Cliff notes:

The apartment is over 900 square feet which is huge to us compared to 365.

We are home bodies and don't go out much. There are a bunch of restaurants of various kinds that deliver. Sometimes we cook. We go up to the 'country' farily regularly to visit family.

I was a saxophonist, Bachelor of Music degree, etc, etc... I did this into my 30's when I needed a change. I play piano for my own entertainment and enjoy it.

I see my PDoc about once a month and go to weekly group therapy for offenders. The therapist who leads the group is amazing. I feel very comfortable there and I've met lots of really great people. None are sociopaths, none are repeat offenders, and none could be called a danger to the community. I stopped seeing my other therapist because I didn't think the cost benefit made sense any more. She was nice, but I think my particular case is a little over her head. If i could afford private therapy with the group leader I would.

Here are the dog pics! See you later, T

http://users.ntplx.net/~tritone/1.jpg

http://users.ntplx.net/~tritone/2.jpg

http://users.ntplx.net/~tritone/3.jpg

http://users.ntplx.net/~tritone/4.jpg

Ok now I am officially jealous! :)

You live in the city, but you have more square footage than I do now (we have 750), and your dogs are soooo adorable!

Here are 2 of my fur babies -

great pics
 

Dear Tritone,

Thanks for the pics.
The doggies look like they are having a great time. :icon_cool:

This is a huge apartment compared to your old one. Enjoy it together.

I'm happy that you still enjoy music.

A good therapist is a jewel -- even if you only see her/him in group therapy. I remember reading that a good therapist is harder to find than a good friend.

Mari

Dear Witt,
Thanks for the pics of your fur babies. They are darling.
Hubby would like a cat or a dog but I am holding off. (And he keeps changing his mind anyway.)
mari

Hey T!! Been awhile. Glad to see you.

I am so happy you like group. What a blessing to find such a wonderful therapist.

I hate moving. It takes me a year to get everything where I want it. Very annoying. And for some reason I always loose very important tools. Like hammers and scissors. Which makes picture hanging and basic crafting impossible until they are repurchased. And as is life, once you purchase said items, the old ones show up. sigh.

Tell your wife she is beautiful and wonderful for me. She is such a dear heart.

so glad you found us! your new day sounds wonderful. depression is a mighty beast to slay and I don't think it can be but just recognized for what it is...a bipolar symptom that comes and goes...
the pictures are totally adogable...the shoot must have been so much fun especially the nose to nose....
i have about sixty fifty square feet....but a huge terrace which I hardly use because of my kitty cats even though I had some workmen construct a wire fence. I just don't trust one of my little devil's Abby....She has more adventure in her than my others. She has already figured out how to get on top of a high wall unit and a high cabinet.
So nice to hear from you. So nice to hear about your job. It sounds awesome and fulfilling....
Bobby

Its really nice to see everyone! This is a strange time for me - the past year has seen a lot go down. Most recently the move, the closing - the board and my past issues.

My PDoc thinks i was hypomanic last summer which led to me crashing last winter. I lost my Dad last fall and began a new job a few days after his funeral. I didn't like the job much and spiraled down into an anxious depression which put me in the hospital last January. I came home from the hospital too early and had insomnia and panic attacks for three days straight. I could barely speak. It was bad. My PDoc put me back on Seroquel at a much higher dosage and it killed the panic and insomnia but I had to quit my job after two days. I couldn't work.

It took me until this May to find the job I have now. I am very grateful.

I felt myself going toward depression as summer progressed and fall arrived and that is when I went on the patch. I think it was a good move. I'm just in constant fear of that awful place I was in mentally a year ago.

Today my Mother told me that the animal control people are coming to put down her/my Rottweiler. I haven't been able to be with him much, she is 82, and he has had serious tempermant issues all his life. In short he's bitten a bunch of people (including me fairly recently) including the animal control officer. I feel incredibly sad about it. He's only six. I feel like he didn't get a fair chance to be a good dog. He's been through obedience training. We have tried. I also have to admit that he is dangerous and my Mother definitely can not handle him by herself. Sometimes things just suck.

Gosh, me having more room than somebody... and somebody outside the City... Thanks for the pic!

Hi Bear - nice to see you. I will definitely relay the message.

Bobby - it is great to see you again. I thought about you quite often when BT was down. I am so happy to see you here.

I am touched. I thought of you too and was so hoping that things were going more smoothly for you. RATS
I am so sorry about your dog...how painful...how excruciatingly painful.
I am sorry about your father. I don't remember what type of relationship you had with him. That plays such an important part in mourning...
I still believe if you try, things always work out for the best no matter how bleak thinks appear and no matter how hard we fall on our face. We didn't ask at least in this life time to be bipolar so we have to learn and learn to be gentle with ourselves. I was going to type patient with ourselves but I couldn't because I think that is too herculean a task and would create way too much stress....our nemesis...or at least one of them...
Bobby