Hi Morgy - Just wanted to let you know, I am thinking of you, hoping for brigher days ahead for you.

Lots of big bear hugs, Nikko................aka - you know who I am right?

oh yes.....I know who you are :-) thanks so much I really appreciate it. I seem to be fighting another bout of depression...today I slept most of the day...and once again I am irritable. I think the higher dosage of paxil is helping me a bit. I feel it is so chemical the depression.
I called up about the rent freeze and so far I am not in the data base. I was told it could take between four to six weeks. I guess I am also upset about my cleaning woman Carol probably not returning. I think I know whom I will hire even though he is a lot more expensive. I am worried about money but I am more worried about depression and irritability. I stopped listening to music for a while. It became too much. The reading isn't distracting. Everything right now is an effort. I don't want to leave my apartment for the life of me.
The weather is new york has been beautiful and I can't make myself take advantage of it.
Oh rats
Bobby

Dear Morgy,
When reading and music don't work anymore, what can you do? Sleep??

For me, a good clearning woman can be as valuable and as hard to find as a good therapist.
It's ok to miss good weather. You'll take advantage of what you can when you can.

Feel better.
Mari

I hear you loud and clear morgy - depression and everything an effort.

I have no choice but to kick myself in the butt and do certain things.

Sleep is my escape from all that is going on in my life. Yet the during the night wake ups are bad, then getting up at 4am, it's crazy.

Music is good, just some songs can get to me. Reading is great if you can get into a good book, I can't seem to concentrate enough.

Maybe just take a walk, since the weather is nice, it might be a little pick me up. I'll send my 2 dogs over and they will walk you....LOL no they are good. Oh I wish I was in NYC I would go and get one of those hot pretzels with mustard!!!!

Thinking of you always, take it easy, baby steps as they say! Whomever they are, that always cracks me up.....

Time to pick up doggy poop in my yard, and feed my cockatiels and bunnies.
It's only 9am here.

Weather is nice here too. I took a short early morning walk with the dogs, it was peaceful.

Hang in there.....Lots of Hugs, Nikko

((((((Bobby)))))),

THAT'S what we all need

We'll head over to Nikko's and get some of that good home cooking (I wish there was a drool smilie).

Then we can all take a walk with **Nikko's Zoo** to walk off all those calories

When I was still working, I had the most incredible cleaning crew -- a husband, his wife, and his brother-in-law. THREE people and they only charged for ONE. The place absolutely glowed when they'd been there. The wife used to take all my books off the bookshelves and dust them. I've got hundreds and hundreds of books. Man, I miss them.

I don't clean at all. It it weren't for Casey-Cat eating the fur off the carpet, I'd be knee-deep

This is Casey-Cat (the brown stripey one on the right):


That's his brother, Puffy, on the left. There's another one too, Pumpkin -- he's orange striped.

I got two short-haired and one long-haired in the same litter. They just turned seven in August.

Take small steps, Bobby. Try to do one nice thing for yourself every day. Even if it's something as small as just walking around the house once. Or drinking tea out of a china cup. Or picking some wildflowers for yourself.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

I first have to admit for the last five years since I have been seeing Dr.Moussavian and have been put on medication even though I have gained zillions of pounds and have dry mouth and some other unpleasant side effects
my quality of life is soooooo much better than it has been the rest of my life.
When a couple of my friends bemoan getting older and how bad it is I can't complain. One friend today said my life really must have been hell.
I really cracked a smile about the kitty cat and so enjoyed the picture. I am so glad you have your two dogs! My doggies used to get me out of my apartment. I wonder how many of us have cleaning issues. I wonder how many of us have energy issues? I wonder how many of us have sleeping issues? Right now there appears to be no stability in my life. I don't feel any equilibrium. This is the third day I haven't ventured out of my apartment. Thank goodness I am not afraid to answer the phone. I don't even know why I am afraid or hesitant to leave the apartment. I don't know what I feel vulnerable about.
It could just be my anxiety and I could be translating that anxiety into vulnerability.
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT YOU ARE GIVING ME. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Bobby

H ave you thought about getting another doggie?
That would help you get out of the house again.
and fill a void that I feel is still there.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi Bizi
How are you doing? It is beginning to get colder here and I guess you will continue to do gardening lol...
My apartment building won't let me get another dog. I already am over my quota for pets. I am only supposed to have two cats at most or one dog and I already have three cats.
Also Abby,one of my kitty cats is like a baby. She will never grow up. She demands so much attention. She is an Abyssisian...most doglike...even when I was petting Snowy this morning, she was tapping me with her paw wanting to be petted. Yuki is a dollface. When I pet her, she licks me. The more attention I give them, the more attention they seem to need.
I still think a lot about hammy and morgy...maybe too much...they were my forever doggies...I was so bonded to them....a large part of my world collapsed when they died....but they did get me out of the house and into some kind of a routine. Before I got them, I had the tendency to stay inside. They did open up the world to me...it was slammed shut when Hammy died...he died after Morgy died.
Bobby

Your kitty's sound so so cute!!!! Isn't it wonderful they all have their own little personality's, just like my dogs.
Even my bunnies and birds do, if you know them well enough.

I am sending my dogs over, I mean it, you can take them for the walk to get me that warm pretzel with lots of mustard on it........or one of those great NY pizza pies, I swear no place makes pizza like NY. I grew up on Long Island.

Remember to send my dogs back, just put a back pack on them with the goodies, they should find their way back...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'd be a nervous wreck. Wish I could take a trip to NY, then visit you, and my relatives on LI, and my cousin in Jersey, then back to where I use to live and visit my friends. NO funds to do so. He has left me in such a financial mess, I have to give up my car. At least I have my mom's, she doesn't drive anymore, and we really don't need 2 cars. It's just I only had 12 mos left to pay on it, well the repo man will be coming one of these days. I guess it is a blessing, no more car payments or car insurance. My husband also ruined my credit so badddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.


I know how you feel, although I hate when people tell me that. I just know what you are going through in a way.

Maybe when you go to your p-doc's appt. and you are out, you could go window shopping, or a walk, or a movie, or stop for a coffee, just a start, get some fresh air, before it gets too cold. When do they start decorating everything in the city for Xmas? The tree's must be changing by now, you could see all the pretty colors. I don't have that here, just lots of palm trees and cactus. If I want to see trees, you have to go up one of the mountains, and then you feel the temp change, it's really strange, it's like taking a trip to New England.

Here I am rambling again, sorry.

Housework, God I wish I had some help with that, but I do it at my own pace.

Missing your doggies is tough, I still miss my 2 german shepherds that passed a year ago this past April and August. A part of me died when they did, they were 12 1/2. Now I have a 2 yr old German Shepherd, he is a lover boy, follows me everywhere. He loves people too. Plus my 3 yr old 1/2 GS and half Greyhound, she is more timid and quiet though, she is a real good girl.

When I lived back East, my depression seemed to get worse when the cold weather came and we had to change the clocks back, and it got dark early. They said I suffered from SAD seasonal aff. disorder. I think that is true of a lot of people. We don't change our clocks here, and it never gets cold, only at night the 40's and the winter days are in the 60's. It helps, but I miss my friends.

Just remember morgy, you are not alone, by any means. Post away, sorry if I get off topic from your posts and then telling you my comparison. Geeze I wrote a book here.

As bad as it gets, I try to think that there are people much worse off.

You take care, okay????????????? Lots of big doggie hugs and licks, NIKKO

Hi, Bobby. I am thinking that the sleep is good for you right now. There is so much going on. I wish that there was a way for someone to bring you food without causing more stress. I wish you could eat. I am worried for you.

More hugs.

EreBear.