It's hard to tell. I've been through things like that,and sometimes it's impossible to time,or know what to do.

I decided to slowly withdraw from Xanax years ago,and I did it very,very slowly over a long period of time,in which I felt comfortable to do it. After about four months I was down to a tiny piece.

My anxiety kicked back in slowly,and then hit me real hard. I was out of town,and when I got home,I felt like I was having a heart attack. My friends drove me to my parents house. My parents called my Pdoc,and he put me on a strong dose of Xanax,and the pain went away,and I felt better. Unfortunately I had panic attacks for several months. My parents let me stay there for six months. It was a awful experience. Everyone around me didn't know what to do,or say.

I had obsessions also that where increasing.

I made a mistake in trying to get off of my medication. I was filled with emotion about it. Please be careful. I don't want you to go through what I went through. BF

Dear Mari & Steve,

thank you both for your posts... much food for thought. i was in the middle of replying to you Mari but got a chance to chat with someone live... so did that. and now it's 4am... past my imaginary bedtime... lol.

anyway, i will answer you both tomorrow!



~ waves ~ whose eyelids are drooping

Waves,
Enjoy your sleep!
We'll see you later.
M.

Dear Mari,

First, thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions and persepectives! Lots to chew on... wow.

right. on the other hand, the activity of the previous day was very very frustrating. but it does seem "suspect" waking up that way...

when i used to use the benzo prn but non-daily, i would start to notice anxiety after about 2-3 days. with a smaller cut i would expect more time to pass. this benzo has a typical half-life of about 96-120 hours, but i've seen higher and lower values cited too. the taper plan is in Excel. i am using a half-life of 110 which my pdoc agreed was a good working value... but i tried plugging in lower and higher values (ranging 80 to 130) it doesn't make too much difference to blood levels and drops, within my current dose range... only at much lower doses with a lower half-life.

No. taking any in the morning leaves me out of it. as it is, i need at least a little caffeine in the morning! also, fwiw, Ashton suggests shifting to 1ce daily dosing for long-acting meds during taper, if it is not already the case. the reason given is to reduce the pill-taking habit/psychological impact.

I said i was observing the guidelines... including the part about varying (can be more or less, faster or slower) according to individual reaction / situation" etc! LOL. the last cut was 5.77% - previous two were 7.69%, first - being the easiest - was a whopping 11%. throughout December i will only cut by 1 drop (< 2%) every 10 days due to the holidays (big stress, potential alcohol consumption here and there). the calculated daily drop in blood level is marginal throughout. And, if i feel too stressed out, i will just play sitting duck till after New Years.

yes, could be. but i hope not! this cut and the one before only had a week each technically, but were kinda pre-emptive due to a missed dose... followed "recovery" dosing that kept me at steady state (dose was cut, but not blood level). i will definitely keep this dose until i feel "ok" to move on.

Not just internet. But, true... it's not like there's a law!

I am trying very hard to manage anxiety without additional meds of any kind... to use breathing, or distracting myself, or doing something physical, or focusing hard on sensations - to change mindset. I believe this will help decrease psychological addiction which my pdoc reminded me of, as well as the Ashton Manual, lol. However, if i am up a creek... heheh... I still have some Neurontin which relaxes me... i am taking as much Depakote as i can handle and do not want to add anything which can alter benzo metabolism. Neurontin does not get metabolized or interfere with my other meds.

yah, i think you're probably right. unfortunately the pressure will build up over the next 10 days. it will be hard to say. today was better but then again i just watched tv and movies and ate. nothing productive.

hmmm....

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing all this and will keep ALL of it in mind. what is even somewhat working now may not necessarily later, so it is good to have all your suggestions.

~ waves ~

Yah. even with all the calculations... there are too many variables like external stressors and even psychological dependence... how can i measure that! lol

wow. Xanax is really hard to taper directly because even halving or quartering a 0.25 might not be a small enough amount to cut by, especially towards the end of the taper... depends some on your original dose. But also it wears off fast, which is another problem altogether. Getting as far as you did was quite an accomplishment!

wow. i'm so sorry you went through this. it sounds like you had a real bad backlash... terrible.

I met a guy who was being detoxed from Xanax when i was in the clinic and he too was in pretty bad shape.

Do you know that Xanax is considered - both physically and psychologically - the most addictive benzo, par excellence? If for any reason you should need or desire to come off it, please ask your prescribing physician to work with you, and gradually switch you to Valium first. After you are stable on the Valium for a while, that can be tapered. It is easier to come off and it can be done more gradually.

Luckily what i am on is not quite as difficult as Xanax... even though it is pretty potent, it is also very very long acting (Xanax is very very short acting). Also, its availability in drops makes it so you can cut back by a tiny proportion at a time.

Thank you, Steve. That is very sweet of you. I do take your warning to heart even with this med. I promise to be careful!

~ waves ~

doing much better today nerves-wise. i think what is also happening is, recently, my sleep wrapped around and i have been waking up about the same time as the parents, or after them. more often, i am awake long before they are, or i wake up after they have gone out.

the thing is, when i wake up i like to have peace and quiet for a while. that has always been the case - normal for me. like i can watch tv and stuff but i will have it on a really low volume - which i can hear well, provided no ambient noises interfere. or if i listen to music, it has to be pretty soft, gentle music, in the morning, and low volume. NO THRASH METAL!!!

the parents are like, from full off, to full on. so, if they are here and awake or waking, when i am waking up, no peace and quiet during the time i am still coming to grips with my senses.

anyway. problem today is can't get butt in gear to get the stuff i need done. and i'm worrying about it too. i keep trying to argue myself out the door, but it isn't working. this is part of my action block and i don't know what that is about. i know lately it has been less, but today is not one of those days.

i have decided to can my exploratory mission to the little shop here, and go straight to the one in the city as i have to go half way there anyway, just to get another thing done. the cost is not much more. i would still have time to get ready and catch the next bus... i think that would be in time to make it back for dinner and not get people mad. but i have sub-zero inclination.

i will shoot for tomorrow i guess. i can't remember if the shop in the city is open all day or if they close in the middle. here things close for like 2-3 hours. i think they close. maybe i can find their phone number and call to get their hours. that would at least be something....



thank you all for listening....

~ waves ~ who is stuffing her face

I hope you can find their phone number so that you can plan the outing better. I would hate for you to go to all of the trouble to get there and then they are closed.

The kitties are fighting at times youngest hattie is such a bully she bites hazel's( yearling) ears and hazel cries....cats will be cats, they play fight like this all day. chase each other around they really get along well until hattie gets too worked up and really goes after hazel and fur goes flying. Harriet (11 yera old) just sleeps most of the day ......just thought I would share this with you...hope you don't mind.
bizi

I sooooo do not mind. Quite the opposite! I miss having cats! I enjoy hearing your "cat-tales"

Thank you for sharing!

i hope Hazel learns to "cope" soon though... for her sake.

I once lived with a kitten who, just introduced and maybe 8 weeks old? used to literally chase and assault a very tranquil but long and lanky 6mo old male... who was already established in the household. like, territory? what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine, and your tail is mine too... hey, it moves, *bat, bat, swat* ... The "poor" older kitten would just move his tail, change seat... in general try to stay out of the way... even go hide... with the odd vocalized complaint. the little one used to set up ambushes ... steal up on the couch and wait for him to walk underneath then, pounce down on him, fangs and claws flared!

She was agrrrrrrrrrrressive, boy! You know, she climbed up my legs *through* my jeans when i was getting their food once. can you say OUCHY OUCHY OUCHY OUCHY OWWWWWWWWWCHEEEEEEE!!!!! and, thank goodness i was wearing full length jeans, for i doubt bare legs would have made any difference to her!

yes cats will be cats. gotta love 'em. and you can find quite some characters... like people.

~ waves ~

I'd love to respond, but my head has gone for a six together with my body, so I can't concentrate enough to get into even the tiniest details.
I hope thiongs work out OK.
Love to everybody.

Dear Isis,

That's quite alright... well, not really, not for you! ... but you know what i mean... thank you for popping by all the same, themoreso really.

I appreciate the kind thoughts. And I do hope you feel better soon all around!

Now, you take it easy... take care of you.



~ waves ~