[Mari]

Hi,
My work friend looks ravaged by his cancer treatments

I went to visit him to bring him get well cards and gifts from others at work.

I had not seen him since I stopped coming to work a month ago.

His spirits are up.
He and his son had just come back from the hobby store to work on their electric train. The whole house inside and out is beautifully decorated fro Christmas.
I pray for him.

I think I might be depressed about this.
I want him to be well.

Also, I need him very much to get better.

I see tdoc on Friday.

M.

[Isis]

Mari, I understand you so well.
My mother died breast cancer that had metastatised into the esophagus and at the end all over , and although I was too young (six and a half) to remember the details I remember how thin she became after the treatment, how her hair went, how she was too tired to get out of bed and how about a month before she died she turned in her sleep and broke her collar-bone.

But recently an uncle was also diagnosed and although the treatment was ruthless particularly the radiation part, he began to recover about a fortnight after the radiation therapy. And now six weeks later he works half a day. He is seventy-four.

So Cheer Up.

You will be surprised how quick the recovery is these days, and it seems like he has happiness around him. He will feel that much better for it.

[Mari]

Dear Isis,
Thank you.
I'm sorry about your mother.

That's good about your uncle bouncing back so quickly.
It's hard to watch someone suffer. At the same time, I think it might make some of us be reminded of our own suffering.

Part of me thinks it is sort of my job to hope for the best for him. Somehow I feel like it is my responsibility to want him well -- that I am part of the process a little.
That probably sounds a little nutty. I am trying to be optimistic for him.

Another guy at work watched his father go through something similar so he is rather pessimistic. I ignore him.


M.

[Isis]

Ignore him totally. The progression of no illness is ever copy cat. And of course as a friend you would feel responsible towards him.
But don't let it depress you - instead you can use this opportunity to add to his happiness, in turn that will cheer you up as well.

[waves]

sending good wishes for your friend.

i am glad his spirits are up... that is a good sign.

situations of this gravity which do not give us much control are very difficult to bear. it is natural that you would worry and that it would affect your mood.

however, you are doing a good job being there for him, and praying and hoping for him. these things are valuable to him... you are "on his team" so to speak. i just know this helps him.

please be gentle with yourself too, and know that you are doing what you can, and that it is good.



~ waves ~