[waves]

Hi guys.

Start of this month (20 days ago) i started tapering my benzo. it is pretty potent but subbing with diazepam (Valium) first is problematic since the equivalence is not well-established, and diazepam's characteristics are also a little different. However, this benzo is about as long acting as diazepam, and it is available in drops, so one can take/reduce by miniscule doses, for a safely proportioned taper.

i made a taper plan following Ashton Manual guidelines (5-10% every 1-2 weeks varying with individual needs / reactions / stress / etc). i do adjust it as needed. I have also decreased caffeine. I have not had any real problems except for some light sleep and a little agitation which passed however. Other than that, i have had a little "postive" activation in the sense i get more stuff done!

I had the 4th dose decrease (there are countless more) a couple days ago.

Today, i woke up where everything bothered the living shtt out of me. my mom singing. the sound of a cell phone being turned on. the tinkling/banging of a metal spoon on a glass jar (that would bother me if i was about to have a migraine, only it wasn't bothering my ears, but my NERVES). AARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH.

BUT also......... i am trying to get some docs together that have to observe a bunch of tech specs. i have been busy hunting on the internet all day for a shop that can scan the stuff i need... where they or i have adequate control of the scanning parameters. i know of one but i was hoping for something closer. GRRR. Yesterday i was busy all day mucking with stuff to see if i had already some suitable stuff on hand. i don't. i even ventured down into the basement (big big big deal for me!!! like i'm alive! wow!) and dug through boxes looking for some software i couldn't find GRRR. i think that contributed to my GRRR. found some other stuff though.

STILL, it is WEIRD. the past 2 nights i've slept like a log, 7-8 hours straight... clean through parents taking up the blinds this morning - which is LOUD! an hour later i wake up a jangled up everything's-a-needle-in-the-brain claw and fangs queen? hello????

i was not "agitated" per se, today, btw and hadn't even had coffee yet when the cell phone bugged me!!!!

ok, anyone think the benzo level has gone way outta whack somehow???

or do you think it is stress from the stuff i'd doing against a deadline too, more than the benzo?

or both?

or other?

thoughts?



~ waves ~