Dear Bobby,
I really wish Dr. M could medicate this out of you.
Or that the tdoc could get you closer to a state of peace with yourself and your days and nights.

My tdoc wants me to practice staring into a candle for five minutes and then close my eyes and try to "see" the light after I close my eyes.
It takes about three or four days of practicing to start to see the light -- 5 mins each day for a few days and then continuing the practice 5 mins each day.
(I use a battery operated candle because I don't like open flames.)
She thinks that this is a good focusing exercise.

I've done it in the past but I don't do it now because it is too hard to stop what I am doing and focus on a candle. I feel chaotic right now.

M.

hi Bobby,

how are you doing overall - how is your mood? feeling different at all with the Depakote? may i ask how much you are taking and is it extended release or regular?

~ waves ~

Dear Bobby,
Also try to be merciful with yourself.

I still think this can be medicated.
You're fine except for the meds needing to be more helpful.

M.

hi
i don't know how i am feeling. this morning i have a cat scan but the doctor doesn't think it will find anything. i had a breathing test yesterday. the guy was really nice. he is close to my age is very physically active. i told him he looked great. he told me i looked great too and he liked my hair. it is natural. it has a lot of silver like gray and dark brown and shoulder length.....totally natural. he might call me. he asked if it were all right. he thinks my problem is weight. i told him how jealous i was of his sports accomplishments. i kept on repeating myself. he even goes ski boarding!
last night i had so much trouble sleeping. the depakote is regular release. i take it right before i try to fall asleep. sometimes i think it works but most of the time i don't think it works. i think i noticed an increase in my appetite.
i don't know what to do. i also don't know if that fellow will call me. it was a boost to my ego whether he calls me or not. just to be noticed even at this weight. he was rubbing my back when i was taking the tests and it felt so good.
bobby
Mari this medication has helped me gain so very much weight

i took the scan scan...it was a piece of cake...i joked about the bipolar and gaining 100 pounds.........thanks to the medication...i almost cracked up but then regained control. i have another doctor's appt on wednesday and he will tell me the results. med tech appears to be a nice profession to go into
bobby

that is good that the breathing tests and cat scan went well.

I hope the tech you talked to yesterday calls you.

love

waves

he called and we had a nice chat..he is really into a lot of things. he mentioned coming over during the day some time since he works close by. i said that was fine.
bobby

Dear Bobby,
You have a great people gift.
. . . attracting new people into your life . . . and keeping older ones.
You are probably charming and considerate of others.

I find I could live in a cave with access to books and music and do fine for a while. (not charming).


M.

oh mari
you are the most caring person. i would love to meet you. i bet your students love you and they never forget you. what an impression you must leave on them
i think my bipolar could attract people when i am not depressed and too anxious and my sense of humor is working . i can be quite funny and shocking. my honesty also can be brutal so i am very real. i guess that is a rarity. some people might call it boundary troubles but i need to relate to people and not have much superficial stuff. it bores me
bobby

Wow!!!
that is exciting!
(((HUGS))))
bizi