[befuddled2]

Five Year Ramble

I have a past that still haunts me to this day but even so I have overcome a lot of it in the past 5 years. Just 5 years ago I could barely function on my own. I was scared to death to drive my car due to an accident and then I found myself totally on my own 2 years later with no one to depend on. I got a lot of my rides with a van service back then but now I drive every day with no fear at all except to get on the interstate. Just yesterday I drove on some snow which was really unthinkable 3 years ago. I would not even drive in the rain at all but now do. Back then I was a real mess psychologically and could not stand up for myself. Today I can stand up to some of the worst. Back then I didn’t dress to kill and today I enjoy watching the boys come undone when I do.

You’re probably wondering what all that has to do with my quit of 5 years but it has a lot to do with it. When I quit smoking I found a lot of online friends who not only helped me in my quit but also to shape me to the confident person I am today. I have to admit that not everyone I met online was good to me but even those people taught me something.

I first found out about message boards when I went to FFS for support in my 1st attempt in 2003 and then I came upon the Q and Woofmang later on. I had found many girlfriends and guy friends on the Q that some have come and gone but each one of them still helped me. I had girlfriends and guy friends from Woofmang who came and gone also and some still with me.

At one time I had no one but the quit smoking message boards then later Neuro Talk. I would not have had the online support if I never quit smoking; therefore having quit smoking has helped me grow as person also. The journey was wonderful because I have met some wonderful people along the way.

I never thought in a million years that I would be quit smoking for 5 years way back then when I took my last puff. The reason being is because for so long in the early days of my quit I would only make the day without smoking by putting it off till the next day. When the next day came I’d put it off to the next day after that. Now I don’t even think about smoking at all except maybe a passing thought that occurs 2 or 3 times a year. I do know though that I must never stop visiting the smoking cessation forums just because I am comfortable in my quit now because I am still not safe from smoking. I am after all a nicotine addict for good whether I smoke or not. My quit will need to be maintained and the message boards are my best choice.

My advice to anyone newly quitting is to just enjoy the journey of your quit. It’s going to seem like pure he*l for awhile but the online bonding with other quitters is priceless. Enjoy the smiles, the hugs, and the inspirations that you will encounter in that journey.

Barbara

[Isis]

Barbara, that was a very lucid post.
And you are so very right about the positive enrgy that online friendships promote and nurture.
And you have trasvelled far in these five years.
I wish I could write a bit more but I am going through a lupus flair now and am in alot of pain - can hardly keep my eyes open.
Thank you for expressing these thoughts.

[waves]

Thank you for this beautiful account of your journey. How are you doing these days? feel like giving us an update?



~ waves ~

[befuddled2]

Thank you Isis and Waves. Waves, I am fine. I will be moving into a cheaper apartment in about 3 weeks. That's about all for me.

barbara

[Mari]

Dear Barbara,
That's a good post about your five year journey.
I hope you enjoy your new apt.
M.

[befuddled2]

Thank you Mari. Bobby's cancer has come back so this time is kind of sad.

barbara

[Mari]

Dear Buffudled,
I'm sorry to hear about Bobby's illness.
M.

[waves]

((( Barbara )))

I'm so sorry to hear this news about Bobby.

~ waves ~

[befuddled2]

Thank you Mari and Waves. Maybe with God's help his cancer will go into remission.

[Dmom3005]

Hi Barb

I've been wondering were you have been.

And I too am sorry to hear that Bobby's cancer is back.

Keep us updated.

Donna