Bobby was in the hospital for about 10 days due to his heart last month. I did not know this till recently. Bobby and I had a bad falling out not long after his heart attack. We got back on good terms this past Friday. He told me tonight that there's nothing that can be done about his cancer. I'm so sad. Bobby is like an old shoe to me. He's put up with more than his share of crap from me over the past 10 months. He's seen me in all kinds of states of mind which even my ex husband has not seen some of those parts of me. He still likes me with my faults and everything. I have not felt this from anyone that I can ever recall except my mom.

Bobby never liked my drinking and I can see why. Once I had a few more than my share to drink and told him I had seen his truck at Hanks. He told me I should have stopped in and I told him I was in a hurry to get home and drink my beer. Leave it to a drunk to be honest. He put up with me the other time I called him up 3 times in one night drunk and kept repeating myself. He's never cursed me even the time I cursed him so bad it would have made a sailor blush. He had confidence in me to tell me to enter a photo contest on the weather channel last fall. Once some one at Hanks told Bobby he was a gentleman for getting up and letting me get out of the booth to use the bathroom. Bobby told the guy he had to let me up or else I'd squish him crawling over him. We use to have so much fun at Hanks last summer. He would tell the people in there funny things I would do.

I can't lose Bobby with his cancer. I just can't. I know it is likely to happen though.

This is very sad to hear.
Cancer seems to be more prevalent then it used to be.
I am sorry that you are hurting.
Spend some good quality time wiht him if you are strong enough don't push yourself.
bizi

Thank you Beth. I've already talked to Bobby today and he seemed in good spirits considering he had to put one of his horses down. I will likely see him the end of this week.

barbara

Dear Barbara,
Sorry to hear about your Bobby. I'm glad that you have been speaking to him.
Keep your self involved in productive activities that bring you good energy.


M.

Barb

Sending good thoughts.

Donna

Thank you Donna and Mari.

barbara

Hope things work out as you wish them to.
Love

i hope you can control your drinking....it would be such a lovely gift to Bobby and showed that you really cared so much about him. His plate seems to be so overflowing and he seems to be such a special human being. My father was an alcoholic so I had a lot of experience coping with drunks. He was self medicating his bipolar II. The last fifteen years of his life he was able to give it up.....ther last six months of his life he had a stroke and became a hero to me. I know you can do it.
Bobby

Thank you Isis and Bobby.

I wish I could give up drinking as it's not easy. I don't drink as often as I did.

barbara

Dear Barbara, I was huge on drinking for many years. Then suddenly I had to go on a medication where I couldn't drink.
The first couple of days were uncomfortable.
Then it got to a point where I had to hang on to a cup of tea or fruit juice as a crutch.
After that came the phase where I would remember at the end of the evening that I hadn't had a drink but still manage not to reach for one.
Now finally I can have the odd drink once or twice a month - which I enjoy 'though I can not drink half as much as I used to - but don't mostly miss. Even if I feel like a drink, about 10ml of whiskey held for a while in the mouth gets rid of that urge.
But I am really, really relieved that I don't feel I NEED it like I did before.

So see it is possible.